Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Another Wordy Wednesday .......

Tummy Talk

This is for Ellen who asks me on a weekly basis for a picture of my tummy. Taken last night, Kaelen is talking to his baby sister and asking Mommy if I have to go to the doctor soon to fix her; meaning when will she be coming out of there.

Thank you to all who have been asking if all is okay seeing as I did not post for a few days. Yes - all is tickety boo so far. I head to the doctor tomorrow to see what the plan is for the next couple of weeks. As far as I know, I will likely be heading for a ECV sometime in the next 2 weeks to try and manuever this baby into the proper positioning. If that fails, then it will be a scheduled cesarean within the next 3 weeks.

I am 35 weeks today! What does this mean? Well, I have gotten to experience baby hiccups for the first time (this little one gets them 4 - 5 times a day), I am still enjoying what limited movements that I can feel with this baby and if this were my pregnancy with Kaelen .... he would be 14 days old today and in two days time, we will be given the exciting news that our son is being released from the special care nursery and we can take him home with us.

And when asked the question (which everyone seems to ask of late), "Are you ready to be done with this pregnancy?" My reply is always: "No. Not yet. I am enjoying this while it lasts."

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hot Off The Press from Daycare

I received this picture via email this morning from our wonderful dayhome mom that loves my son when hubby and I are both at work.

I came dangerously close to spitting my coffee on the computer screen due to laughter, meanwhile my hubby was hard pressed not to jump in his vehicle and put the pedal to the metal with the need to rescue his son.
Sadly, if Daddy were to rescue him, it wouldn't be with the advice of ensuring that your hat must always match the clutch purse.

Mommy Is a Princess!

I am excited to say that it is official! I am a Princess!

My son who of late has become a HUGE Shrek fan, has decided that he is Donkey, that Daddy is Shrek, that his bedroom is no longer his bedroom but is now to be referred to as his swamp but most importantly, that Mommy is the Princess that needs to be saved and worshipped!

Shrek of late is never allowed in the swamp despite half of it being his, but the beautiful Princess is always allowed to come for a visit and cuddle in this cozy place. Shrek also does many things wrong of late and gets severely reprimanded by Donkey while the Princess can do no wrong.

Sigh .... I love being a Princess. This is the way that it should always be ..........

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wordy Wednesday

Don't have a picture to post today but have a humorous story instead. Sorry if anyone gets offended at the humour in our house ......

Scene: Just wrapping up reading bedtime stories, Mommy gets up to turn off the light and climbs back into Kaelen's bed for ten minutes of quality "love talk" time before tucking Kaelen in for the night.

Terms Used: Dewy = penis; Woodrow = erection; Love Talk = I love you's, kisses and hugs

Traditional Mommy Jobs: make boo-boos feel better by soothing with magical kisses

THE Conversation:

Mommy: I love you Kaelen
Kaelen: Me love you
Mommy: You are such a good boy. (Mommy kisses Kaelen on forehead)
Kaelen: Hug Mommy. Me kiss you. (lots of hugging and kissing exchanged)
Kaelen (with a half cry/whine): Mommy. Dewy hurts. Rub my dewy better Mommy. Rub my dewy.
Mommy: Rub your dewy?
Kaelen: Yes Mommy. Dewy hurts.

Silent Pause. Mommy thinking at first perhaps that his diaper was squishing his dewy, but then a dawning of comprehension came forth. The wisdom that was shared by hubby indicating that Kaelen often complains of a sore dewy when sportin a woodrow.

Mommy: Errr .... Mommy can't rub your dewy Kaelen. How about Mommy rubs your bum and gives you a big hug to make it feel better.
Kaelen: Noooooo. (now almost crying and clearly getting aggitated). Mommy kiss my dewy then? Kiss my dewy better?
Mommy: No honey. Mommy can't kiss your dewy better. Come here honey. Mommy will cuddle you and rub your back to make you feel better.

Silent Pause. Muffled noise is heard in the background.

Kaelen: What's that Mommy? What's that sound?
Mommy: That would be your Daddy laughing his pants off (listening to this conversation via baby monitor, upstairs in our bedroom).
Kaelen: Oh.
Mommy: Feeling better now?
Kaelen: Yes Mommy. Thank you Mommy.
Mommy: I love you Kaelen.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

To My Sis; A Partner in Crime for Life

Dear Sister (a.k.a. Tee-Tee, Cookie and Christie)

I am blessed to be able to say that I have had a best friend for 32 of my 34 years of life so far. You know me better than anyone else in my life and have stood by my side through the tough times, my selfish times, my adventuresome times and my happy times. Without you in my life, my life would be incomplete. I always try to explain to people that even though I am not a genetical twin, I am a twin in every other sense. The connection that I have with you is one of a kind. The kind that I rarely see in other families yet do hear about every now and then. The kind of connection where I need to speak with you on a daily basis just to function normally in my everyday life. If I don't have that interaction, something feels not quite right; like that fuzzy in the head hang over feeling. You know you are going to be okay the next morning but aren't quite sure if you will live through the day in your discomfort. The kind of connection of knowing where to go just to be plain silly and share in stupid laughs. The kind of connection of knowing that no matter what choices I may be faced to make, that I will always have you to provide your honest insight and unconditional support.

It is scary really at just how different we are in personalities yet so exactly the same. I think that we could create an adventure that would provide us with some of the most hilarious laughs of a lifetime just out a tin can or paper bag. It is like we give each other a vibe to feed off on and just one look into your smiling eyes, I know exactly what you are thinking or visa versa. Do you remember the days that we would spend hours cleaning the dinner dishes all in the name of killing off our evil nemisis Chochi Keillor? I mean, how many other kids out there can say that they had the time of their life scraping off food plates and grease from pans in the attempt of creating a vile concoction to snuff the life out of a make belief bad guy? Or how about the hours that we spent on our bikes outfitted in spokey dokes and handle bar streamers riding around the block with Mandy and Jenny strapped to our backs with scarfs (man we could have made a killing with baby slings considering the popularity now) running from the bad guys who were trying to steal our orphaned babies? Or ... remember the Killer Bees that would suddenly swarm our bedroom out of the blue and we would be compelled to jump from bed to bed in an attempt to show off our prowress in avoiding the death stings of those giant flying planes?

No matter what adventure our creative imaginations took us on as kids, we had the time of our lives. Even if our imaginations weren't spinning in a magical wonderland, we had fun together. Okay, well perhaps most of the time. There were certainly times where we would take turns terrorizing each other as every good loving sibling does. From you stalking me in the hallways as a toddler, just awaiting to sink your fangs into my back; to me pushing you against a shower door in Hawaii which resulted in shattered plexi glass all over the hotel bedroom. But no matter the circumstance, we would always band together and support the lies to protect one another if we knew that we were in the wrong. And ... if that didn't work, locking oneself into the bathroom with the infamous line: "Since nobody loves me, I am going to swallow this bottle of aspirin". That line always worked as the person who was locked out of the bathroom, would bang on the door and beg and plead with the poor lost and wronged soul inside, reassuring them that they were loved and to just please come out. This ploy pretty much guaranteed that we would be on the same page for whatever fib was coming forth to protect our hineys.

We are lucky though as we really didn't fight much. We in truth were inseparable best friends. Best friends that were so different too. You always wanted to be like me and be the social outgoing one with all of the boyfriends and friends. And I would always want to be like you with the natural brains and talent to excel in school or athletics. Yet as we envied each other so much, we stuck together and complimented each other. You would help me with school and I would take you with me on my social outings. Did you know that I was always proud to show you off? Even in high school. Even when you struggled in school with friends, I would always be so excited to have you come out with me and my friends. I wanted you to be around me partly because I knew that I would have someone to find the humor in things and because I loved you and it just felt right.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have you as a sister, especially now that we are adults. We still laugh our pants off together and get silly, but we also respect one another as adults. I do have to admit though that it is tough for me some days to sit on that back seat and not push forward to take control of your life. I want so much for you and wish that you were in the same stage in life that I am. That we could just sit for hours and talk about our fears and the pure joy in being parents and the challenges that can come with it. Or, we could get goofy and talk about our marriages and the struggles that you overcome and the humor that you discover within it. It would just seem right after all that we have been through life together, that we share in this next chapter of our lives together. I will have to learn to be patient though as you can't force things to happen. Your life will fall into place as fate and you make it so. So, for the short term, I will be contented with you sharing my experiences of being a mom by being the best auntie my children could ask for. And I will be contented in knowing that you are still my best friend and would move heaven and earth to take care of me or my family should the circumstance arrive.

Thank you Cookie for being you. You are not only my sister and best friend, you are my hero, my back bone of support and a bright ray of sun shine in my life. I am truly blessed to have such an incredible relationship with you and look forward to the many more journeys and adventures that our lives will bring forth to us.

Monday, January 22, 2007

An Inconvenient Truth

If you are looking to make a difference in this world or are interested in what all of the Global Warming talk is about, I highly recommend renting "An Inconvenient Truth" by Al Gore.

This documentary is very thought provoking and will supply you with some hardcore facts, pictures and projections of our environment and what an impact our current society is bringing to it. Be forewarned though that there are some political digs in it; Republican vs. Democratic, but putting that aside, Mr. Gore has a lot of very interesting facts that are pointed out.

It may be perceived by some as one sided, but at least it brings out issues for discussion. And, in the big picture, it is so relatively simple to change our everyday little practices to make a difference in the end.

So - go out and rent it. It is worth the $5 in a rental fee and you owe it to your family, your family's future and our world as a whole to give this documentary one hour and 40 minutes of your attention. It can't hurt.

And if you end up disagreeing with me? Well, at least it made you think right?

Friday, January 19, 2007

Adventures in A Lifetime

I was giggling to myself on my drive to work this morning that this is what I should have named my blog site; I still might. I have this uncanny knack of never being able to experience things cut and dry per se. There always has to be a gray shady area or what if situation. It makes it for interesting times and I have come to realize that it is likely me who subconsciously creates those scenerios ...... all except this one:

Here is the short and skinny from my doctor appointment and ultrasound from yesterday:

Without going into a long and drawn out explanation, my baby is still in the Frank Breech position with her butt nestled right down into my pelvic cavity. Her head is right under my right rib cage and she is trying to suck on her toes and fingers under my left rib cage. The perinatologist at the ultrasound said that there was still a 50/50 chance of her to flip around into the presenting position, but when my hubby asked what his experience/opinion was, the doctor replied that it was highly unlikely that she would turn on her own given the positioning. There is currently a study being conducted in the hospitals right now of trying to physically turn the baby between 34 & 35 weeks gestation but that I wouldn't qualify for this due to me being on blood thinners. He said that the risk of bleeding to me would be high. Therefore, I will have to wait until at least 36 weeks in hopes that the doctors would still be able to perform this procedure as I really don't relish the idea of having a cesarean.

With the baby being in a breech position, there is still high concern that I will go preterm so we are still on high alert for any possible signals from my body to indicate so. The good news is that my cervix seems to be holding up despite this baby putting so much pressure on it.

Other than this, we are all doing great. This baby is between 5 - 5.5 lbs as of yesterday and I swear that she was trying to sass her Mommy and Daddy during the ultrasound yesterday. It looked like she was trying to wink at us when we were talking about the statistics of her moving into the proper position.

Today my friends, is the kick off to a new adventure for us. We are officially in unchartered waters in pregnancy (I am 33 weeks, 2 days today). I have to say that I am excited for this new experience that I missed out on with Kaelen, yet a little apprehensive as that naivety is gone. I am aware of the risks out there and that knowledge is always running through the back of my head.

All in all, yesterday was good news for our family so we will focus on that and deal with anything else as it comes.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Weekend fun. A fresh blanket of fluffy snow and a decent day of -5 degrees Celsius out and this is the kind of fun that Mommy gets envious of. Only a couple more weeks until I can join in on the fun again!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Boldly Going Where This Woman Has Not Gone ...

Okay ... .well almost. What movie or show is that line from anyways: "Boldly going where no man has gone"? Sari or MamaD do either of you know seeing as you guys seem to be the entertainment buffs? It is not Superman is it? For some reason that sticks in my head.

Anyways, I am only 2 days away from reaching my pregnancy milestone .... 33 weeks. I had Kaelen right on day 1 of week 33 so anything after Thursday is unchartered territory for me. I will be a rookie at the whole pregnancy thing and can honestly say that I am both excited yet a little nervous. These past few days have been rough; filled with plenty of aches and pains. The kind of pains that I would flag to my doctor when pregnant with Kaelen only to be told that it was normal growing pains in pregnancy. Did any of you experience that general painful feeling when trying to sit down? And when sitting down you felt bruised as if you had ridden a bike for at least 2 days straight? My sister claims that it is called your sitting bones, and man, my sitting bones in the pelvic area are killing me!!

I am looking forward to Thursday though. I will have the chance to see my obstetrician to discuss my delivery plan and what our overall plan will be from here on in and later on that day I have an ultrasound to measure my cervix and check this little one's positioning out. This weekend will be busy too as we are planning on setting up the baby's room. My way of thinking is if I set it up (which I didn't for Kaelen), then the baby is bound to stay within me longer. We aren't going to do anything new for the room; just use the same theme and bedding as we did for Kaelen. We had chosen a sage green and decorated it with cartoon like zoo animals as we didn't know what the sex of our baby was going to be, therefore it is perfectly suitable to use again for this little one. Kaelen is completely wired in knowing that he gets to help set up the room and share "his baby stuff" with his little sister. Sigh .... I only hope that this enthusiasm lasts forever with him but am not naive enough to know that there won't be a struggle at some point with perceived neglect and jealousy within the next year.

On an ending note, I would like to give a HUGE congratulations to my good friend Karen. Karen and I happen to get pregnant close to the same time. Our first borns, Kaelen and Cadence are just under 2 months apart in age and now our babies will be pretty close to the same.

Karen made it to 38 weeks, 3 days with twins and finally was able to get a bed in one of our hospitals here for induction (our hospital maternity wards are completely back logged right now). If those twins had it their way, they would have likely stayed in Mommy's party belly for at least another month or so. Anyways, Karen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Claire Margaret at 10:46 pm on Sunday, January 14th. Claire weighed in at 6 lbs 13 oz and 19.5 inches long. Claire was delivered naturally after approximately 5 - 6 hours of labour. Twin B, Samuel ___ ? (sorry Samuel ... I didn't catch your middle name as your Daddy was talking sooooo very fast) was born via cesarean at around 11:20ish pm. Samuel tried in vain to come out with a head and foot at the same time meanwhile Mommy's body was just not cooperating. When his little heart rate started to plummet, Mommy was wheeling immediately to OR for surgery. Samuel weighed in at 7 lbs 4 oz (I think) and was 19 inches long. The babies are doing excellent as is Mommy although as I am sure you can understand, is quite sore.

So my dear friend Karen: I am so very proud of you!! Good job there girl - 14 lbs of baby!. I am very much looking forward to snuggling your precious babies and giving you a hug of congratulations!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

A Thinking Meme

I was tagged by Sari for this one and I really like it! It requires a lot of thinking but I love stuff like this as it gives you the opportunity to learn about others.

1. If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others, what would it be?
I am stumped. I don't have a vice that I can't live without. Coca Cola perhaps?

2. If you could change one specific thing about the world, what would it be?
A very deep question that could spark a lot of debate. First thing that comes to mind would be acceptance of cultural diversity.

3. Name the cartoon character you identify with the most.
Cartoon character? Hmmm. Wile E. Coyote? Only because he is klutzy and tries so very hard at things only to bung them up due to his lack of patience .... or should I say intelligence. (cracking myself up here).

4. If you could live one day of your life over again, which one would it be?
Not one. Despite the things that I have experienced in my life, I wouldn't change a day as it would not shape me to be the person that I am.

5. If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person, who would it be?
Just one person? Yikes. I always wish that there was a time machine that would allow me to go back to experience many periods of history and the way of life in general. But I have always said just for a day as I don't think that I am tough enough to handle the harsh conditions of back then. One person? Perhaps Mary Queen of Scots.

6. What is one thing that you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you had back? Nothing significant as far as materialistic items. When I first read this question, the first thing that popped into my head was innocence and the lack of cynicism.

7. What is your one most important contribution to this world?
Aside from having my son and soon this baby girl, I take pride in knowing that I have inspired other young adults to at least believe in themselves and take that first step to pursuing a dream. This was all accomplished by an amazing Rotary International offering called RYLA, which stands for Rotary Youth Leadership Award. District 5080 puts on a week long leadership camp that young adults can attend between the ages of 18 - 24 years old. This camp changed my life so much when I was going no where but downwards that I continued to be a part of the camp for 11 years after that. It was during those 11 years that I would have former campers call me out of the blue or send me a later telling me how much of a positive impact I had made on their life.

8. What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
Talent? I am supposed to have talent? Well, when I was younger, I could wrap both of my legs around the back of my neck. Heck - it should be something that I was good at seeing as I have a 36" inseam ....... Can definitely say that I can't accomplish this feat now with this belly.

9. What is your most cherished possession?
Ummm ..... at the risk of sounding barbaric, do children count as a possession? If so, then definitely Kaelen. If not, then it would have to be a picture collage that my mom made for both my sister and I for Christmas one year. The collage had pictures of my dad and each of us when growing up.

10. What one person influenced your life the most when growing up?
The only person that I can say really made an impact on my life was in high school. His name was Tom Hierck and he was a counselor for trouble teens. Tom also happened to coach the boys volleyball team so being on the women's team, I got to interact with him a lot. Tom was always there encouraging me to believe in myself. Encouraging me to pursue my dreams, to take a step back from all of the social drama involved in high school and really to do something that I was passionate about. I can honestly say that at the time I listened to him, but never took his advice at par. It would be a couple years later that I started believing in his wisdom and almost ten years later to be able to tell him how much of an impact he made on my life.
11. What word describes you better than any other?

Wanna Play? I tag my sister, the newest blogger to my little world, Ellen, Sheryl and Jenn.

Friday, January 12, 2007

A Long Week

I am on Day 2 of not feeling the greatest. I am not sick nor do I have a cold but something is just not right. Yesterday I had morning sickness for the first time during this pregnancy and woke up to a general all over achy feeling. Today is not much better; I am still achy and find myself tired. The pregnancy books and journals indicate that I could be on a growth spurt, perhaps that is what it is. I am now 32 weeks pregnant and only have one week left to go until I pass that point that I had Kaelen at. I have a doctor appointment and ultrasound next week so am really quite looking forward for both of those. More in the hopes to hear that my body has decided to hang onto the pregnancy for a little while longer and that my baby has moved herself out of the Frank Breech position.

My replacement here at work started on Monday so this week has been busy with training a new person as well as just trying to get all of my work done. Add into the mixture a certain amount of tension between my boss and I and well .... it doesn't really make a conducive work environment. I caught her in a bold faced fib on Tuesday night and called her on it. She apparently did not get a report completed and tried to push the blame on me. Meanwhile, the CFO came to question me on it and I obviously was oblivious as to what he was asking so immediately approached my manager to ask her about this. Ever since then there has been strife. I don't trust her period.

Perhaps it is my irritability getting to me but what is it about women in particular that can't handle their insecurities? I mean, I would describe myself as a confident individual however do have moments where I question myself. For me, it seems of late (meaning over the past few months), that 90% of the women in my life irritate me. Irritate me in the sense that they have lost their individuality by not accepting themselves. What makes women have the need to be gossipy and catty. What drives women to be cruel to our fellow sisters? Why does it always seem that women are so ready to change who they are, their goals and their personalities for a man?

Good thing today is Friday. I mean really. I can hole up in my house this weekend and soak in the refreshing innocence of my son. If that doesn't cheer me up I am afraid we are all doomed ........

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Armed with a nerf football and a chip bowl as a helmet .... this little tyke is ready to become the next Jason Taylor!

PS - For those who don't know, we happen to be die hard Miami Dolphins fans here too!

Monday, January 08, 2007

A Boy in the Basement

I think that my heart broke a little last night. And to be honest, my husband's too. Yesterday was the big move for Kaelen. He moved out of his current bedroom which was right beside ours, to the room downstairs. All in preparation for our newest addition to make her arrival. Unfortunately, the room beside ours is too small to fit both a bed and crib in so someone had to go downstairs. Ironically, it was Kaelen who volunteered rather excitedly too as Mommy wanted to put the baby down there. Instead, Kaelen enthusiastically jumped around and convinced us that is where he wanted to sleep.

So, two hours later of moving furniture, clothing and animal friends, Kaelen's room was ready and our little boy danced around in delight in his new surroundings. For the rest of the day, he only wanted to play, dance and sleep in his "big boy" room. The reality of him being downstairs from me didn't hit me until bed time. And, to be honest, it was really hard to hold back the tears. There were tears of sadness that my boy was growing up and was showing signs of not needing me, to tears of oh my gosh, I feel like I am displacing my son.

I laid in bed listening to my husband tucking Kaelen into bed for the night and listened as my husband told our son how much we loved him and if he needed Mommy or Daddy, to just call out for us because we would be able to hear him (via a baby monitor) and we were right above him (as in our bedroom - which is not). Hubby joined me shortly thereafter in bed, with glassy looking eyes (although I am sure that he would dispute it) and with a sad little smile to one another, we laid in bed listening to Kaelen sleeping soundly. It was obvious that he had no issues in his new room and being away from us.

Neither Paul nor I had a good sleep last night. I think that we were both waiting with anticipation for an excuse to go downstairs and check on the little man. For me, despite my awkwardness, I would have made it downstairs in record time should Kaelen have even peeped, just to climb into his bed and gather him into my arms.

When I went downstairs to awaken Kaelen to get ready for daycare this morning, he was all snuggled and content as can be in his bed. At one point, he even told me that he didn't want to go to daycare and instead would rather stay sleeping in his new bedroom. Instead I promised him that we would play when we all got home from work tonight. His response? "And Mommy sleep in my new room too?".

Yes, Kaelen. Mommy truly would love nothing better than to. You see, as silly as it sounds, I miss him already. I miss my little boy even though he is ten steps down some stairs and a corner away.

Friday, January 05, 2007

A Full Moon? ... Almost

I grew up in a silly family. We would find the silliness in running around the house in underwear or in farting and we would sometimes have the best family chats when one was taking a dump on the crapper. My sister and I would take turns reading to one another from Archie comic books while the other was having a bath and later, from a Cosmo magazine while taking a shower. It was fun really; like anything goes.

When Paul and I first started living together and for quite a while thereafter, Paul would be freaked out if I tried to talk to him while he was going to the bathroom, taking a shower or if I walked around the room either naked or in my underwear. He would always tell me to "get out" or "get dressed" and then we could talk. He could never understand why I would want to talk in moments that should be private. I guess for me, that was the way our family communicated. It was our time to have the attention and focus on one another.

I have always been open with Kaelen. I tell him all of my feelings and thoughts and still to this day, will walk around in the buff or my underwear in front of him. I go to the bathroom in front of him (not that you have a choice not to when they are infants/toddlers) and let him help me do my daily injections and choose which side Mommy needs to do it on. He will join me in the occasional shower and likewise, I will join him for the occasional bath. I think that he is still too young to understand what is going on and it is not harming him in anyway.

In fact, it makes it fun. Everytime Kaelen gets a diaper change or has a bath, Mommy has to chase him around the house trying to tickle or lightly spank his bare little bum. And, it comes full circle back to me. If Kaelen sees an opportunity to get Mommy's bare bum, he is all over that with a lusty battle cry and a not so subtle sneak attack. Kaelen will let out a fart and then try to blame it on the cat or Daddy. I love these moments with him. These silly little fun moments.

The other day, Kaelen and I were in a maternity store as I am starting to run out of comfortable clothing to wear. We went to the store in hopes that perhaps they had some cheap sales where I could buy a shirt or two to get me through these next couple of weeks. With my helpful little helper, Kaelen chose two shirts for Mommy to go and try on. As the dressing room is large, Kaelen makes himself at home and awaits for Mommy to strip down. After trying on both shirts, a little mischievousness came over me and I whispered to Kaelen: "Hey Kaelen" and mooned my son. Kaelen started laughing hysterically as did I. Having decided that I was going to purchase these shirts, Kaelen and I now make our way up to the till. Just as I was about to swipe my debit card, Kaelen grabs the pockets on the back of my pants and attempts to pull down my pants while yelling "Mommy's bare bum! Spank Mommy's bare bum!". All I can say is thank gosh for those panel pants that rest just below your boobs. If it wasn't for them, the Maternity shop and it's customers would have seen a full moon that morning.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

A Thought for Thursday

Did the retailers out there figure that they didn't make enough money off of me during the Christmas season that they now must attempt to siphon more money from me with Valentine's Day commercials and promotions? I mean, I saw the first commercial on T.V. on Boxing Day and am now being inundated with flyers!!

Luckily, I don't buy into the Valentine hype. Sure I will send little cards out to all of Kaelen's friends, but that is about it. I am not a woman who expects romance on Valentine's Day as for me, it feels fake. If my hubby wanted to do something special for me, then I would much rather it be random and spontaneous.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Heart Failure

As any pregnant woman can relate to, going to prenatal appointments can be nerve wracking and frustrating. Nerve wracking in the sense that there is that little shadow of doubt that passes through you hoping that all is okay despite you knowing deep inside all is good and frustrating in knowing that you will likely sit in the waiting area for up to an hour just to see your doctor. Yesterday for me was no exception.

My appointment was scheduled for 11:30am and was finally called into the see the doctor at 12:40pm. Thankfully, I only had to wait in the confined closet of a room for 5 minutes before my doctor came in. She asked me the usual questions: how have you been feeling, how were your holidays, feeling the baby move lots? Satisfied with my answers, I get up onto the checkup table to have my blood pressure taken and then lie down to have a listen to the baby's heartbeat. Much to any mother's fears, the heartbeat could not be located. After probing around my stomach for about 2 minutes with the hand held doppler, my doctor picks up the phone and calls the maternity ward indicating to them that she is sending me up there right away for a non stress test on the baby and possibly an ultrasound after that.

Turning to me my doctor then tells me not to worry, that all is likely okay and that the baby has moved into an awkward position; possibly behind my placenta. Feeling somewhat nervous, I head to the next wing of the hospital where the maternity ward is located. I am trying in vain not to panic or get upset. After all, that was the baby I had felt moving within me while waiting the hour to see my doctor wasn't it? Meanwhile, scenes are flashing through my mind as I call my husband to tell him about this new development. I am trying to be brave and not break down in hysterical tears because deep down I knew that the baby was okay. It is just when hearing the voice of concern from the person you love, it just evokes emotion; lots of it. I tell my husband that all is okay and that he doesn't need to rush over to the hospital just yet. Lets just wait to see the results from the non stress test and then go from there. I reassured hubby that I had felt the baby move about when waiting to see the doctor so I was confident that all was okay. What is it that makes us want to comfort others, to ensure that they are not in a panic when all you want to do is run down the hallway in the opposite direction in fear?

As I check into the maternity ward there are at least five other women in full blown labour, walking around and trying to provide some kind of relief to their swollen and pained bodies. I had to wait for about ten minutes for the nursing staff to get a room ready for me so I attempted small talk to these women who looked scared, irritated and in so much discomfort. I quickly learned that I truly have no clue as to what is coming to me when I have this baby. I mean, I didn't have labour with Kaelen and I didn't make it to full term. There was a moment of another type of fear that came over me: the fear of what the heck am I doing?

I snap out of that temporary fear as I hear my name called. This kind Australian nurse takes me to my room and proceeds to get my background information while hooking me up to the belts and monitors. It took about 15 seconds to locate the baby's heartbeat and almost immediately she began moving around. So much so that our baby at one point kicked one of the suctioned probes off of my belly. Breathing a sigh of relief, I tried to allow myself to relax for the 20 minute test and just focus on listening to the rhythm of my baby's heartbeat and the movements that came with it; the flow of the blood being fed by the placenta, the jerky and sudden movements from the baby and what I could and couldn't feel externally. Within 20 minutes, my doctor came to see me and inform me that all was good. That the readings from the test showed that our baby was good; in fact perfect.

Along with the good news of course came stern instructions: ensure that I get my daily 10 count of movements within an hour (which I have never been able to do due to the positioning of the baby), any change in my body that might indicate preterm labour (seeing as that is such an issue for me right now) or if I was just uncertain about something to make sure that I called her immediately.

So what was supposed to be a routine doctor appointment turned out to be a day full of nerves and insecurities. When it was all said and done with, as I drove home, I thanked God and my dad for keeping my baby safe and promised that I would be the best mother to my daughter. A silly thing to say really, but in moments of euphoria after fear, you often don't have logical common sense.

Monday, January 01, 2007

A Year of Reflection; A New Set of Goals

Wow. It is truly amazing at how time goes by without one really noticing. I always am saying that I wish time would slow down so I could savour the moments of my life more.

The year of 2006 was truly a good one for our family as well as a year of learning and growing. It was filled with momentus events such as Kaelen's firsts: his first steps, his first actual words, his first experience with waves in a lake, his first attempts in golfing, hockey and riding a bike. Watching him grow has been truly a humbling experience for me that I thank God everyday to have blessed me with this precious little boy. I learned that I am a resilient person and that all of the experiences that we go through in life are meant to come out with a lesson that we should take from that experience. I let go of the resentments of possibly never having more children, instead focusing on how blessed I am with one child. When accepting this, a door opened and we learned that I have an inherited blood disorder. It is manageable, simply so, but it also allowed us to discover the reasoning behind my multiple miscarriages, the reason for Kaelen's premature arrival and most importantly, the likely cause of my father's death.

I have learned to celebrate and take pleasure in everything. In 2006, I celebrated my grandmother turning 90, Kaelen turning 2, the creation of beautiful new friendships and another year of a solid marriage that only continues to get better. I take pleasure in every moment that I get to spend with my son, my husband, my family and my friends. All in all, 2006 has been a very blessed year for me.

And what does 2007 hold for me? Well the obvious: the arrival of a baby girl sometime over the next 10 weeks, another amazing year of watching my family grow and all of the fun times that come with that. I look forward to building upon the new friendships that I have made through the blogging world and working upon the existing ones that I have. I want to grow even more as a person and continue on this journey of self discovery. I pray that my family will be blessed with excellent health and that this new year will be kind to those that I love and care about. In reflecting upon my year, I can't help but be humbled with how truly blessed and lucky I am.

May your adventures in 2007 be filled with dreams, love, happiness and laughter. Should you stumble upon uncertainty, loss or unhappiness, try to remember that it is a course in our life. Try to focus upon the good moments and try to find the lesson in the bad moments. Thank you all for listening to me over the year and for reading and supporting me on my random thoughts on this blog site. I look forward to a fresh new year of sharing, learning and laughing with you all.

Our New Year's Eve

I think that I had the best possible New Year's Eve this year! I couldn't have asked for anything better than to spend the evening laughing and exploring the excitement of the night with the two men in my life. The evening was brisk so we bundled up to keep warm and headed out to the Zoo!

The animals were safely locked up inside but on the outside, the zoo was transformed into a magical wonderland of Christmas lights and displays. Along with these amazing displays of lights, there were plenty of activities for the little ones to keep entertained. Activities such as snowman bowling, igloo building (with styrofoam blocks), snowball alley and a large rubber slide; perfect for the little ones to have a wonderful evening. There were firepits with hot chocolate available for everyone to warm up which were serenaded by festive holiday music.

To end the night off (at 8:30 pm), the zoo put on a beautiful fireworks show. This fabulous display lasted for 15 minutes and was a perfect way to end the night.

What better way to celebrate the ending of a great year and the embarking on the adventures of a new one than with your family? I for one, can't think of anything better.

Daddy and Kaelen at the entrance to the zoo.

Mommy and Kaelen caught smooching in the Tunnel of Love

One of the many lit trees and displays at the zoo.