Saturday, May 30, 2009

Water Fun

Don't you just wish that you could revisit those days in your youth when sprinklers provided an adventure of a lifetime?

Of course Diva wouldn't subject herself to getting wet so the little man went to town enjoying the lushness of grass and a backyard that we didn't have last year.

Friday, May 29, 2009

My Diva

I can't get enough of her. I mean really, I can't. She drives me around the bed a lot lately, but somehow I am finding the humour in her antics and her constant demands. She is bound and determined to be potty trained so we still live in the bathroom for 90% of the day. And because she is a true princess, there is no squatting in the bushes, nor is going on a kiddy porta potty an option for her. This means that we are missing much of the beautiful, hot, sunny days out there of late. And if she doesn't get things her way? Let's just say that she gives Mariah Carey a run for her money in the screeching, higher octave level. She is demanding and very determined to do what ever her brother does. This usually results in many boo boo's and injured pride, thus pushing me to purchase stock shares in Nexus Princess Bandaids. That and giving me a work out, because she will refuse to walk or use the injured limb regardless if there is actually a mark on her or not.

But all that it takes is a mischievous look from her, a grin, an eager clap at an accomplishment or a sloppy wet kiss, and all of the tense moments are wiped away. I am still the most important person in her life but when will that end? When will I be put on the shelf and become a nuisance? And the biggest question of all? How could I have ever thought that I couldn't be a mother to a daughter?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

You Capture - Week .... Erm .... Who Knows?

After an embarassingly long hiatus, I am back and very determined to not miss out again. Life just has a way of becoming very overwhelmed when one is dealing with tense issues my work, a sick child who will need another surgery and a concerning health diagnosis of my sister. But, all of these issues will likely be hashed out in later posts.
This week's challenge is family. And upon attempting to take a page out of Beth's book of snapping 100's of pictures per week, sadly, only the ones of my daughter came out looking decent. I therefore had to cheat and use a picture of my son and hubby that is two weeks old and another from Easter. I know, sorry Beth, I am a baddy aren't I? And, it was important to me to include my hubby seeing as I moan that he is never around, I did want to prove that he is not a figment of my imagination. As for a pic of moi? Nada. Sorry. Besides, you wouldn't want my mug to grace this page for fears that it would make you spew your coffee or crack your computer screen.

Easter Brunch 2009. It was a rare moment where we actually were able to go out and eat as a family.

Hubby and my son having a boy moment together enjoying the bumper cars at the local weekend fair. He has since had a hair cut; my son, not hubby.

My fly girl daughter, who insists in creating her own style every day. Yesterday, she was partial to wearing my son's ball cap backwards. And because she is so stinking cute (in my opinion), she can pull it off.

So now I am off to check out other participants. Wanna join me? Click here and you won't be disappointed, I can guarantee that!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I honestly try to make an effort to come here more often but fail. I mean wow - how hard is it to sit down, grab the laptop and type?

With the prolonged absences I am hurting myself really. I am missing out on capturing the best time of my life with my children because I am "too busy". When I look back at all my posts from the past, I find myself grinning, laughing and even crying. This is a journal of my life and I am too lazy to record it. Shame on me.

So, I am going to attempt to post at least every day, even if it is about nothing. And for the limited few that actually read it, you will likely get very bored reading about my children and my endless, tiring days. Sorry. But, the more I get back into blogging, the more my creative juices will flow and I just may be able to blog about humorous, interesting things about life.

Sigh .... my chin is up and here we go! Until tomorrow folks ......

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Collector

What is the saying? One man's junk is another's treasure? That little saying certainly effectively describes children too. It never ceases to amaze me what my children find the sparkle of treasure in. It can be a rock, pine cone, a broken toy to a scratched up, rusted penny. It is endearing but it is also painful for a habitual clean freak such as myself. At every given opportunity, I will donate and/or throw away junk that is never used within our house. My husband on the other hand is like a squirrel and will burrow it away into the deep recesses of the basement "just in case" we have a need of it somewhere in the future. Apparently my children come by it honestly then.

Going to Nana's house is like a treasure hunter's dream for my children, because like my husband, Nana does not throw anything away. Her house is filled to the brim with junk and trinkets galore and while it can become amusing, if not down right entertaining, it can become worrisome at just what my children will discover and what Nana will attempt to pawn off on me ... erm ... the kids.

This past weekend was no exception with cleaning out crawl spaces and closets at Nana's house. Decrepit, ripped up suitcases, old rusted camping gear, 20+ year old toys that don't work anymore to dusty sporting equipment was discovered. And, much to my son's excitement, boxes of old trophies too. Within seconds of Kaelen's discovery, the calculated gleam came to Nana's eyes and before long, Kaelen was the proud new owner of four old trophies. Kaelen excited beyond belief at his good fortune and Nana's incredible generosity quickly picked out two hockey and one soccer trophy for himself.

In his excitement, he continued to badger me for the remainder of the weekend to have his picture taken with his favorite trophy:

Now, this is the part where I must confess that this particular treasure hunt was a sentimental treasure hunt for me. The trophies that my son was insistent upon having? They were some of my dad's hockey trophies for MVP of the league and national championships. And, being the beautiful child that my son is, he so innocently claimed that his grandpa would be happy to give them to him because he (Kaelen) loved hockey too and would be just as good as his grandpa. Kaelen then went on to ask if his grandpa could see him from heaven and proceeded to look up into the air and thank his grandpa for the trophies and that he would win lots when he grew up to share with him too (grandpa).

So, this begs a question for myself, how could I not like treasure hunting now?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Long Weekend Labor

Long weekend? Yes, for some here in Canada, however not for me. Boo. BUT .... next weekend is a long weekend for me! Yay!! Next weekend I am treated to three days (maybe) of no daycare kids. Just another three blissful days where I can give my own children 100% of my undivided attention, care and love. Sigh ... I can hardly wait.

In the meantime, this weekend. Tonight after daycare closes, the kids and I are off to Nelson to have a quick visit with Nana. That, and Nana is planning on using me as free slave labor to accomplish the items on the list of Shi#ty Things To Do. Yep that means crawling into a tiny cubby hole to clean out forgotten useless items that are at least 30+ years old, to trimming hedges, pulling out rose bushes, painting a deck and so on. And, because in these days and ages, statutory holidays really mean nothing because everything is open, hence I must be open on Victoria Day because parents need to work and children need places to go. Ugh. Next weekend can't come quick enough if you ask me.

Until then, for all of you Canadians out there, enjoy your long weekend!!

Friday, May 08, 2009

A Weekend for Gratitude

Today is Friday folks and do you know what that means? Yep - no daycare kids for this chicky for three whole days!! Whoot! Whoot! Additionally, there is a fair in town and a children's festival so tomorrow will be packed with giggles, adventures and likely a few tears because you know, things like that happen when kids get over stimulated.

And, I just wanted to send out a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has left a comment, emailed or called me with encouragement after reading my last couple of posts. Thank
you. It means so much to me. Truly. And while my break won't happen for a while to come, I am going to enjoy this weekend and view it as a break that I can enjoy with my children. Because believe me, part of the guilt issues that I have about admitting that I need a break is the fact that my munchkins are growing oh so quickly and before long, they will be at the age where I am not cool and I am second choice for entertainment value. Deep down I know that this is what I signed on for and if given a chance, would never trade it for the world. Kind of ironic that all of this is coming to fruition right about Mother's Day no?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

A Hockey Hero

Dear Mr. Bieksa and/or the Canucks Organization,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughtful kindness. Words can not aptly describe the joy that you gave my son when he saw that envelope addressed to him arrive in the mail yesterday. Nor can they effectively capture the excited disbelief that occurred when he discovered what was enclosed within that envelope. Your incredible thoughtfulness to send him a card with your picture on it and your signature has ensured that he will remain on Cloud Nine for many, many days to come and has cemented your status of Hockey Hero in his heart.

And, just to clarify with you, those letters that he mailed you? Yes, I will admit to writing them for him, but I wrote word for word what he wanted to share with you. You are truly his hockey hero and each day, he becomes you in his hockey adventures. You will never know how many overtime winners, game winners and penalty shot goals you have scored, nor will you realize just how many times you have hoisted the Stanley Cup over your head in victorious glory. The entire world surrounding my son knows that his alter ego is Kevin Bieksa and that you are the best defenceman in the hockey world.

And last night? That thoughtful, precious card went to bed with my son sending him in sweet dreams of hockey and you. Today the card goes everywhere with him so he can proudly show it off.

Thank you so very much for your gesture. Words can not effectively express my gratitude towards you.


Kaelen's Mom

Where Am I?

Honestly? Most days I don't know where I am. My head is caught up in the never ending list of things to get done, thinking ahead of what has to be done, yet cognizant of what is going on around me to intervene with child play if needed. My day starts at 5:30 am and doesn't finish until 10:00 pm, and trust me when I say there is NO TIME within those hours for me, unless you qualify walking/running at 5:30 am for an hour as me time. Personally I view it as a form of necessary punishment to ensure that I can keep up with the kids each day and sadly, I don't even get that done consistently.

And truthfully, I am struggling with everyday life right now. I am feeling overwhelmed and alone lately and it is bugging the crap out of me. So add to the above list: beating one's self up. Why beat myself up? Well it is sooooooo incredibly difficult for me to admit to anyone let alone myself that I feel like I need a break. A break from my children. There, I said it and now need to go and wipe the tears away. Why is it so hard for me to admit that? Why do I have to feel so incredibly guilty thinking and saying that? I mean, it is natural to feel that no? Truth be told, I am with my children 24/7 and alone. Hubby is working is ass off hauling huge hours 24/7 and it will be like that until at least October. It isn't like I am not used to this so why am I struggling? Part of me tries to justify it that I am working out of the house running a daycare, so for 10 hours a day, I have five children that I am responsible for. Add in another 4 hours of additional children and well ya, the desire for adult stimulation gets very appealing. By the time all children are gone, it is dinner time, bath time, bed time and then the tedious task of cleaning up the daycare, tidying the house and prepping meals for the next day. Before you know it, it is 10:00 pm and I am just sitting down for the first time in the day, hubby walks in, looks drained and hits the hay. No talky for Allie.

Anyways, this is my pity party for myself as I try to work things out for myself. In the big picture I feel blessed that I get to be at home with my children every day but sometimes it is hard to admit that I am human and need a break. Oh ... and did I mention that because I have so much time for myself that I am going to be working two nights a week outside of the house because we are hurting for money? I justify the extra labour as an investment because that money will go towards a 2 week family vacation that we ARE going on in January to act like a normal family, but secretly I think that I am a sucker for punishment.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Block Mom

When I discovered that I was pregnant with my son, I thought long and hard about what kind of mom I wanted to be. I wrote down goals, fears and dreams, and ironically the fear list was longer than the other two. As we can all identify, becoming a Mom is a fearful thing. In fact, it is a fearful experience upon the moment that we discover precious life growing within us, or for some, upon hearing the news that a baby is waiting for you to love them. Suddenly you are thrust into a realm of uncertainty, worrying about little things that you never thought possible. Your heart is no longer your own because it is wholly owned by our amazing child and/or children. And despite that fear being overwhelming at times, the joy, love and happiness that is present outweighs that fear and makes this job called Motherhood incredibly beautiful and worth it.

One of my goals about being a Mom was to be that open, outgoing Mom. I envisioned having that chaotic house filled with kids running around, doors opening and closing, phones ringing and laughter echoing off the walls. I want to be that Mom where my children's friends felt comfortable around me where they could just be themselves. I saw myself being that support person for a child should they need a grown up to confide their fears to. But most of all, I want to just be a part of watching my children grow up and sharing in their laughter, despair and fears. I want to be that soft place to fall for my children and their friends.

Moving to Cranbrook last year has thrust us right into the middle of kid haven neighbourhood. Within days, I realized that I was starting to experience and fulfill these goals/dreams. However, that good ol' adage, "Be careful what you ask for", has proven that one must exercise caution when attempting to fulfill their dreams. Our house/yard is inundated with the neighborhood kids 24/7 and I now find myself in the position where I feel at times that I am the Mom to all of these kids. At first it was fun, but now it has grown into frustration and at times resentment. All parents within our neighborhood know that I run a dayhome during the week. They also know that due to provincial legislation, I am mandated a child allowance of the number of children allowed on my property while I am functioning under business hours. However, this doesn't stop them from encouraging their children to bombard my house whenever they see us playing out in our yard or going for a walk. And yes, I said encouraged. Due to children and their innocence, you would be amazed at how much they unknowingly tell you about the family dynamics and conversations that occur within their home. "Allison, my mom said that because she is tired, I could come over here to play with you because I behaved at daycare today" (which I will point out is literally at the house across the street from me).

Now, I do have to be careful because there is that part of me that doesn't mind having every kid at my house. I get to ensure that my children interact properly using manners and respect, I know where they are at all times (because let me tell you, other kids are the same age as my son, 4, and those kids will go for hours running around the neighborhood without a parent checking in on them), and I get to create bonds and friendships with the other kids around here. I don't mind helping other parents out either because I do understand how stressful and tiring working and managing a home, family and life is. But, when does the "open house" policy cross the line to taking advantage?

I am firm with all children when they come to play here. They must play by the rules that my children and daycare children adhere to. They are gently scolded if necessary and are asked to go home if their actions continue to be out of line. I have made every effort to get to know all of these parents, introduce myself and get to know about their lives. And in turn, let them know a little about us. I find it weird though that I am the one initiating all of this when in fact they should be because they are the ones pawning their children off on me. Amongst my next door neighbors, it is the joke that I am the block mom, because children are always, always, always here. Again, to contradict myself, I really don't mind, it is just some days it would be so refreshing to have a break too, you know?

So the question is, is it me having my own pity party? Or, am I being taken advantage of? In the big picture, I guess that I can't have my cake and eat too and live to complain about it right?

How about you? Are you a block mom? If so, how do you deal with the responsibility?