Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Getting To Know The Neighbors

How do you go about endearing yourself to the neighbours? Especially the ones that you haven't seen much of since you moved in 2 months ago?

Well, here is the recipe that I tried:

1. Invite your Mom and sister to come and spend the long weekend with you (which was two weeks ago here in Canada).
2. Order up three days of gorgeous, hot sunshine from Mother Nature
3. Clean off the deck and attempt to make it comfortable with the tools that you already have.
4. Ensure that the fridge is full of beer and/or wine.
5. I find that a Sunday night works best, especially after a quiet BBQ the night before.
6. In an attempt to keep the house cool, serve up cold vegetables accompanied by an onion soup/cream cheese dip to compliment the veggies. (and in a certain person's case, I won't name names but it was not me), serve up nice extra large green onions for that onion soup/cream cheese dip. Drink a few glasses of wine and/or beer and let that concoction fester within your gut for at least an hour.
7. Listen intently for when your neighbors make their way out on their respective decks in early summer time cheer and companionship. When the time is right, covertly sneak onto deck. Note: it is important to be stealthy at this point.
8. Make yourself comfortable on the patio because it is going to be a long night in the fresh air .... ahem.
9. Listen intently for the punch line of the joke next door then on cue, have one of your guests pass wind; loud enough to get that poignant pause and silence. To the point that you make think that the noxious fumes may have killed everything within the 2 sq mile vicinity.
10. Once you are assured that man kind has not been killed off, giggle like there is no tomorrow because after all, farts are fun (in this family anyways).
11. Once you are comfortable with the set up, repeat steps 7 through 10 for at least another two hours, rotating individuals as their stomachs protest in gastric discomfort.


Amber said...

Gee. And to think I have always wasted my time taking cookies to my new neighbors. :-)

Goofball said...

you are a crazy family...but Amber's remark was even funnier :p

I knew it had to do with farting!!

Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats said...

Funny! So very Funny!