Tuesday, October 17, 2006

This is for the Mommies

I have to say that I am confused. Not just a little, but totally perplexed. Before becoming a mother, I would listen to the frustrated stories of my girlfriends and co-workers as they made their journey through parenthood. More often than not, it seemed that the frustrated complaints were about their husbands; not their babies. At first I didn't understand and of course, would get offended on behalf of my friends that their husbands would even suggest or accuse them of things like sitting around the home all day (while they slaved away in the office), that they (the man) were wiped out because he was working so hard or to hear that the husband was taking a relaxation trip away from the home because he was too overworked. I didn't get it at all.

It has now come full circle to me. I am now part of that sisterhood. I get it and understand wholeheartedly where these women are coming from. It wasn't like they were truly complaining, but they were making the comments with little hidden smirks as if the joke was on the husband. The truth of the matter is, is that men truly don't have a clue of what reality is. I know that is a harsh statement but I don't know another way to explain it. It is not meant as demeaning but more on a smirk-on-your-face, giggle-under-your breath kind of way.

In one of my more recent enlightening moments, I had suggested to my husband should he go home to visit his mom that perhaps he could take our son. After all, not many people in my husband's home town have met our son so it would be a great moment for hubby to proudly show him off. I had expected hubby to say that this was a great idea and ask me to look into the cost of flights for him. Err ... no. I might has well have grown two heads from the look I received. Along with this comment: Why Allie - are you kidding? How could I do that? It would be too hard by myself.

Hmmm .... just let me think about this here for a minute. Oh yes. You would play it by ear yet try to keep to a somewhat consistent schedule. It is not that hard really. Why, I have taken our son to Winnipeg and back home to the Kootenays on many an occassion; BY MYSELF!! In addition to that, I have managed to work a full time job and then be a full time mommy while you have gone away on pleasure and business trips. So perhaps I am the one that is jaded but I don't see it as a big deal. Sure some days will be longer than others but it is not that difficult to manage.

Needless to say, I still think back to this not so old conversation and find myself smirking and laughing just a little under my breath. Now it is me who shares this story with my girlfriends and it is them that just laugh and nod their heads in complete understanding. I don't discredit my husband as he does his fair share of the workload around the house and he is a great father. But, whether he is just a unique father or there are others out there, I think the idea of being solely responsible for his son, for more than 24 hours, all by himself seems rather daunting and terrifying.

Hopefully I am completely wrong.

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