Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Mommy's Little Parrot

* Disclaimer: The following post contains swear words, so if you are uncomfortable with your child reading it, I suggest that you stop them now.

The time has come where Mommy and Daddy need to watch what we say. Over the past two weeks, Kaelen has gone from a very limited vocabulary containing actual words mixed in with baby jargon to full on 2-3 word sentences. He is also showing extreme interest in reiterating all that you say. Especially if you happen to enunciate one word stronger than others within your sentence.

On Friday night, our little family of three were doing a little last minute running around for Kaelen's birthday party the following afternoon. Perhaps it was the fact that it was a Friday night and my track record of late is not particularly great when it comes to driving on the roads of Calgary. The scenerio goes like this:

Mommy is driving, Daddy is sitting in the back with Kaelen playing away with a baseball. With the van packed full of presents and groceries we were on our way home to cook a late dinner. Just as Mommy is about to merge onto a main road, a car decides to blow a very red light, cuts us off and speeds up the road.

Mommy: "Fuck! " as I slam on the breaks.
Kaelen: "Fuck! Fuck!"

There is a poignant stunned silence in the car. I look into my rearview mirror at Daddy and said:

Mommy: "Did he just say what I thought he said?"
Daddy: "Yep"

We look at each other and try in vain to contain the smiles and laughter just waiting to spill forth.

Kaelen: "Fuck!"
Daddy: "That's right! Look at the big truck"
Kaelen: "Ya. Truck!"
Daddy: "Wow! You are such a smart boy! You just said Truck!"
Kaelen: "Ya. Truck!"

Disaster was narrowly avoided. As I cautiously drove up the hill not wanting to experience another near accident, I couldn't help but envision my child being the "shithead" of class. I fast forwarded to his first day in preschool and saw them do introductions and then Kaelen saying "Fuck you" or something like that.

Or ... on our next visit to the pediatrician on the 18th; the doctor who feels that Kaelen is very behind on his speech abilities. I envisioned her talking to Kaelen and saying "Okay Kaelen, what new words have you learned in the past few months? Can you enunciate a "k" sound? Kaelen enthusiastically responds "Fuck". Now, to be honest, part of me would love to have that little scenerio happen, purely just to see the look of shock on her face but then I would worry that she would call child services concerned for his well being at home.


beth said...

I have to admit that for a while Hubby and I decided to keep our language clean around Sam. Then as this late talking thing became later and later we sort of started to slack a bit. I'm totally convinced his first word will bring a mixed response.

Megan E. Pratt said...

oh that's funny allie.

breezy_gurl@hotmail.com said...

Well he was bound to learn it eventually. HAHA oh too funny. It would sure shut that doctor up right quick too ;o)