Thursday, May 04, 2006

With PHD behind your name, does this mean that you are smarter than I am?

Word to the wise: never have a premature baby. That, or ensure that you develop thick skin and poor hearing. There are certainly days that I wished that I had exercised option #2 for it would seriously cut down on the thrills rides taken on that emotional roller coaster.

Today, Kaelen saw yet another doctor. This time it was for his supposed speech delay problem. As this was a new doctor, I had to repeat Kaelen's health history, which as always, makes me feel like both an incompetent mother and hypocondriac.

Doctor: "So, tell me about Kaelen"
Mom: "Well, he is perfect. He is beautiful. He is my happiness."
Doctor: "Hmm...I see here that he was born 7 weeks premature."
Mom: "Yes, that is correct. And no, I can not explain why. There were no complications. It just happened without any forewarning."
Doctor: "Okay, tell me about his birth and life up until now."
Mom (knowing this is where I need to get detailed): "Well, he was born at 5.5 lbs and.."
Doctor: "Did he cry? Was he crying when he came out?"
Mom: "Err....I don't know if he started crying right away as I was terrified of the ramifications and was lying spread eagle on a table in shock that I just gave birth."
Doctor: "Did he breath on his own? Ever need oxygen?"
Mom: "As far as I know, no, he had no issues breathing and to this day never has."
Doctor: "Tell me about any doctor visits up until today"
Mom (with big intake of breath): "Kaelen stayed in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks after he was born. One week into his stay, he had a CT Scan as he head was severely misshaped. Nothing came out of it. A week later he came home. He has been good ever since. A very good eater, social and outgoing little boy. He has seen many doctors because it seems that everything gets flagged just because he is a preemie. Specialists such as an optomologist for amblyopia, a neurologist for his head, a GI specialist for reflux, a pedia dentist for attempting to knock his teeth out, and now you for his supposed speech delay."

After elaborating in detail about all visits (20 minutes later), we finally get down to the supposed issue at hand.

Doctor: "So. Tell me, how many words can Kaelen say?"
Mom: "That I know of for sure, 6 -7 "
Doctor: "What are they?"
Mom (Excited as this is where we get to perform to show that this doctor visit is a big waste of time. Turning to Kaelen, in hopes that he will copy me): "We can say Bye Bye, Hi, Up, Ball, My Mom and Dada"
Doctor: " Nope. Mom and Dad aren't words."
Mom: "Excuse me? I am not sure if I understand, Mom and Dad aren't words? Why not?"
Doctor: "Because they are not."

Okay. The last time I checked, both of those words are in the dictionary. After another 20 minutes of this woman flapping her arms about and trying to get Kaelen to repeat her, she came to the conclusion that I should put Kaelen into speech intervention. Hmm...Perhaps mommy needs speech therapy because I am still perplexed that Mom and Dad aren't words....

Maybe Kaelen is slower in picking these habits up; hell, he has been slow to do the other things like sitting up, crawling and walking. To my thought process, it would just seem logical that he would be slower at this too. I know that he is smart as his level of comprehension is amazing. And, judging from the 10 or so parenting books at home, he should be all over the map because he is a premature child. Some of his skills are a little behind, but he is also displaying traits of a 2 - 3 year old. That is why the consensus is that children will outgrow their prematurity traits around the age of 3. Did perhaps my family doctor and this latest doctor not read all of these books? I mean, the old adage is: Mommy knows best. Does this mean that I am smarter than the doctors? That I should learn to just believe in myself and my inner voice, knowing that my son is a healthy little boy?

For me, as irony would have it, the parting comment from this doctor as Kaelen and I were walking out, was that she just couldn't believe at how big Kaelen was. She just couldn't quit commenting that he was the size of a normal 2 1/2 year old child, yet he is only 18 months (corrected age). A feeling that I can't explain came over me. I wanted to snip at her and say "of course he is, because he is a healthy and normal little boy".

I know that it makes no sense, but that feeling gave me the confidence that Kaelen and I are going to be just fine.


goofball said...

Mom and dad are words in English that are translated from Mama and Papa in Dutch!!!!

ThursdayNext said...

As an English Teacher, I have two things to assert here:
1) Of course Mom and Dad are words.
2) After dating a doctor (note past tense), I became extremely skeptical about the intellgence of an M.D.

Mom knows best. ;)

Megan E. Pratt said...

You should have bitch slapped her Allie!

Buffy said...

Doctors dont know everything dear.

Allie said...

Buffy - I agree that doctors don't know everything, however it becomes redundant when every time they see my son for a check up - they suspect something is wrong. All because he was born 7 weeks early. It just gets tiring to always have that shadow of doubt that happens when a doctor, who has gone to school to identify issues, brings forth a potential issue.

In reality, this mommy just needs to get a little confidence and start trusting in that inner voice. Trust in that little thing called: Mother's Intuition