On Being Competitive

I just recently read a really interesting article in the Canadian Todays Parent magazine. It discussed the issue of competitive mothers and why women as a whole appear to be ultra competitive with our children. Whether your child knows their ABC's by the age of 2 to eating 100% organic without a lick of sugar ever to pass a child's mouth. It discussed the way that mothers are quick to judge or at least appear to judge. And well, it feels like the truth doesn't it? There are times that I have been made to feel like such an utter, complete failure yet there have been times where I feel that I can hold my head up high with pride in knowing that I am doing something right. But, what exactly is right?

Trust me when I say that I am guilty of being one of the most judgemental and competitive people born on earth. I am getting better now, but I used to carry such a burden of envy, self pity and bitterness upon my shoulders and I wasn't afraid to use those traits verbally to make my point. However, since becoming a mother, I am learning that sometimes it is okay to say that you can't do something, that it is okay to ask for help or that it is normal to admit that you don't know something. My children have humbled me and they have taught me that things aren't always what they seem on the outside. They are teaching me that to truly be happy, you need to let go and just love unconditionally. To just accept what is happening and deal with it accordingly. It is tough. Especially for an individual like me who has a tendency to jump in to fix things, to want to fix things and to not know when to keep their mouth shut and hold back opinions. It is hard not to want to let go of all of those emotional frustrations when other people and children are involved. It is hard to not voice my opinion when it directly affects my children or if behaviours are witnessed that I don't want my children exposed to. But I am learning that this is a part of growing up for my children and for myself. No one is capable of raising the perfect child (although mine are pretty damn close) and it is healthy for everyone to make mistakes to learn from.

I am guilty of judging other parents and tend to forget that they too are struggling to figure out this thing called parenthood. But in my defense, I am aware of this flaw in my almost perfect personality, and I am working on it. I think twice now before opening my mouth in an attempt to offer my advice and may instead opt to clench my jaw and take a deep breath. Lord knows that I wish in the past that others had practiced this on me. I am tired of feeling like I am failing and instead am going to focus on how I am in the big picture perfecting. Perfecting because even though I am making mistakes in parenting, I am loving my children with my whole heart. I am loving them to my very best ability and supporting them in their journey of life.

Welcome Back

Ah Ha!! I FINALLY figured it out and have fixed my laptop issues all on my own!! I am now eager to report and give you some warning that I am back - and have the total itch to blog on a regular basis again!!

Until then (which will be during either nap time or after work), for those of you who are not on Facebook and forget what we look like, here is a little picture of us taken a couple of weeks ago at the Kraft Hockeyville events.

Laptop Blues

Dear Mr. Laptop,

I was so very excited when I first got you. I dreamed of what a fabulous relationship that we would have and together, we would capture all of life's finer and not so fine moments together. Your sleek look and design would allow for me to be portable and not stuck at a desk with Mr. Archaic PC.

The relationship while starting out great has soured over the past 7 months. You are becoming increasingly difficult to work with and make it all to easy for me to waive the white flag in defeat. Your obstinance in allowing me to access Blogger on a daily basis is down right rude and shall I even mention your mood swings with Facebook?

So my darling, you have forced my hand and I am now obligated to take drastic measures. In the very near future, you are going to be wiped out. Like totally wiped out. Lose all of your memories and bad habits. And hopefully, I will luck out and find a fabulous program that will allow you to be trained and work with me in a professional, friendly manner.

In the meantime, I am working on renewing my bond with Mr. Archaic PC because he seems to be pleased when I use him and cooperates accordingly. Sadly for him, he is stuck in a corner of the basement in a drafty, dark old office and sadly for me, that means I will have to battle the evil basement monsters on a nightly basis in order to share my life with the rest of the world on blogger.

Yours truly,

A Frustrated Mom

Getting the Grief

Blogger is getting even with me - it has been virtually impossible to get into my blog to post for almost a week now.

But as Murphy's Law prevails, I can get in now but I don't have to time to post as the munchkins are getting rowdy.

Huh.

Losing Touch

Dear Facebook, Blogger, Loyal Readers and Silent Lurkers,

At one time, I was one of those who were dead set against you, Facebook. I pegged you as a passing fad and there was no way on earth that I was going to jump on that bandwagon. I had been there and done that with MSN chatting and well, I became obsessed with it. My passion at that time was to capture my life and my experiences with Motherhood, enter Blogger. Blogger, you were my passion and I still think about you often. You poke me with silent guilt every day as I steadily ignore you and find multiple excuses as to why I can't sit down for five minutes and diarize my life. The blame of my lack of ability to keep you updated on my life can be placed solely on the smug shoulders of Facebook. I am sorry I am letting you down Blogger, but I will endeavour to make it up to you by attempting to post at least twice a week. It is a small goal really, but if I can accomplish that, then I will be fired up to do it at least four times a week.

As for my loyal readers, gosh I love you guys. But lets be honest here, you are most of my friends on Facebook too so my lack of initiative to post is also your fault cause we talk amongst each other everyday.

And you lurkers? Well .... you might give me more incentive to post our life adventures a little more if you didn't lurk and chose to leave me a comment as opposed to the occasional guilt ridden phone call or email.

In the big picture though, I am back and watch out. Equipped with that handy new camera and children who are entertaining as hell, I have the goods to keep everyone happy whether you Facebook me, Blog comment me, phone me or email me.

Yours truly,

Allie