Something To Tell

I have like a million posts that have been uploaded in my mind; just not onto my computer. Somewhere in between, there seems to be a malfunctioning glitch causing stories and pictures to be somehow not make it onto my laptop and in turn, proudly displayed on this web page. There just never seems to be enough hours in the day to get it done with running a daycare and all and come night time, I turn into a pumpkin by 8:30 pm once my children have hit the hay. I tell you, those little stinkers during the day give me a run for my money on imagination and being active. They of late are consistently scoring the knock out punches and I can't help but wonder who really is in control on a daily basis. Perhaps I need a new trainer in my corner or sports psychologist to help me through the defeating, traumatizing moments. Anyone know of a good one that comes cheap?

So, I need you all to send a little love to us tomorrow K? I haven't shared this with you all but Kaelen might be having surgery tomorrow. We have to arrive to the hospital by 6:00 am and within two hours, be assessed by the anesthesiologist and surgeon as to whether Kaelen is healthy enough to undergo surgery. He is just on the tail end of a cold so the question is whether or not he is too congested in the chest to undergo the magic sleep potion.

What is he having surgery for? Well, to have his ears drained and his adenoids removed. This is a sensitive subject for me so please be kind. Kaelen has never had an ear infection (that we know of) but has been consistently complaining of a sore ear deep inside since we moved. And, as many of you know, we have been dealing with his supposed speech issues for too long in my opinion. Lately, he was complaining that he couldn't hear out of his ear either so that prompted me to make an appointment to get this resolved once and for all. As per the norm, nothing was wrong with his ears yet our new family doctor was concerned about his enunciation in his speech; big surprise (note sarcasm please). So off we went to see a ear, nose, throat specialist for his consistent ear complaints. Imagine to my surprise when I was told that Kaelen's is experiencing mild hearing loss and that the surgery is necessary to avoid permanent partial hearing loss. Uh huh. And I didn't deal with it so good either.

You see, Kaelen has seen three different "specialists" because everyone that we meet comments on Kaelen's enunciation. One specialist said there was nothing was wrong with him, another thought that it was a mild issue that would get resolved once he entered the school system and the third was so obsessed with him being premature that she was labelling him with a list of deficiencies a mile long. This new specialist after carefully examining him, said that it was a crying shame that he didn't get to see Kaelen at least 3 years ago because "all of this" could have been avoided. Not once, in his previous three visits, did he ever receive a hearing test, which is standard given speech issues. If those hearing tests had been done, it would have been discovered that Kaelen's ears don't drain effectively, therefore causing him to not effectively hear a certain decibel frequency range. Basically, to Kaelen (even though he doesn't know it) the sounds "th", "r", "s", "ch" and "k" are muffled. And as we all know, learning languages requires us to hear because we mimic those sounds in our attempt to communicate. The reason why Kaelen's ears aren't draining is because his adenoids are over developed, meaning that they are larger than normal and are putting consistent pressure on the ear drums. After doing careful research, I have discovered that what we are dealing with is in fact common for premature babies and that this doctor just might be right after all. So, to avoid any further hearing loss, we must get this surgery done. Kaelen will never recover what he has lost to date but, we can at least stop any further damage. And, after the surgery, come a couple of months down the road, he will work with a specialist to somehow learn how to make those consonant sounds and how to hear them (as they sound muffled and distorted to him).

So selfishly, although in the big picture of the world, this is so truly minor, to me as a Mommy, this is big. This is my baby who I will watch be put to sleep and wake up sore. This is my baby that I feel has been let down by mistakes and in my opinion incompetence and now he is paying the price for it. This is my baby who I feel that I have let down because I wasn't persistent enough nor diligent enough to follow through on answers that I wasn't satisfied with.

I just pray that he is healthy enough to undergo the surgery tomorrow as this is already the second attempt to get it done. Last week it was cancelled due to an emergency in the OR room and I would hate to see it postponed again due to a cold. The longer we wait, the more nervous he becomes and believe me when I say that he can become very dramatic. So, until tomorrow ....