Misled

When I was pregnant with my son, I voraciously read every book that I could get my hands on about pregnancy and how to raise a baby. I wanted to be informed about everything and be armed with knowledge for any situation that may arise. I remember reading in one book about breastfeeding. It discussed that no matter the size of a boob, a woman could breastfeed. HOWEVER, the book also said that boob size would not increase nor would breastfeeding cause boobs to sag. Ha! Ha! A man must have wrote that book.

With both of my kids, my boobs went from a barely there A cup to a DD cup size and at times even larger. Now, as some of you know, having large boobs was at times an issue for me. I found that they got in the way, I hated looking in the mirror and seeing these large bowling balls hanging from my chest. There were days that I dreamt of having my nearly flat chest back again. I found after weaning my son, my boobs came back a little smaller and they definitely drooped a little. Not a lot, but enough that there was no way that I was going to get away with wearing no bra - even if it was just around the house. I kissed those perky little things goodbye and embraced my slightly saggy ones with pride in knowing that they provided excellent nutrition to my son (who was a preemie at that).

I am currently in the process of completing the weaning process with my daughter. It was a difficult internal struggle to begin the weaning with her as I truly enjoyed every moment of breastfeeding. There was however the chance that I may have had to go back to work this month and pumping was just not an option for me. Pumping over stimulated my boobs no matter how I went about it; I would never fully drain and even a partial pump to alleviate discomfort would cause my boobs to literally triple in size. And, perhaps it is selfish of me and all, but I just didn't want to deal with having to pump in a bathroom stall or behind closed office doors and dealing with all of the hassle with it. It may work for some women, but the thought of it didn't work for me. So, my daughter and I have been working on the weaning for the past month. It was a very gradual process and now she no longer feeds from my breast. And, those breasts of mine have gone from that DD cup back to my barely there A cup. HOWEVER, that book that I had originally read has lied to me again. My breasts now resemble that of dried up, empty pastry sacks. I now embody that of a flat chest with these two little bumps at the bottom of my rib cage. There is now no way that I could ever go bra less again.

In a humorous attempt to poke fun at my new body (which don't get me wrong: I am prideful of those boobs despite their new appearance as they nourished my daughter for six months) to my husband, our conversation went a little like this:

Me: Honey. Check this rack out now. You thought that my DD leaky boobs were a little scary, what do you think of these now?

Hubby: Erm. I don't want to look at your boobs.

Me: Why not?

Hubby: Well why? Why do you want me to check them out?

Me: So you can see into the future of what they will look like when we are old and geriatric. What you see now is what you will see in 30 years from now.

Hubby: Hmm ... not a pretty sight. Is that what they truly look like when you get old? Perhaps we could save up and get you a lift.