A "Crappy" Situation

When Kaelen was a newborn/infant, changing his diaper was a race against time. The "time" meaning that we would race against the inevitable spraying of his little weenie once it realize it had freedom. Paul was often the recipient of a nice spray down of pee which would lead to peels of laughter between the two of us.

Obviously, the risk of being sprayed down with pee from Masyn is pretty slim given the body parts, but what Masyn has down pat that her brother could only occassionally accomplish is the uncanny ability to cannon fire that butt of hers. Masyn has the angelic look down pat where she is eager to have a fresh butt, but Mommy has caught on if only recently in knowing that this is just a lure for her personal amusement.

Case in hand: It was 5:00am on Wednesday morning and like most mothers, when it is feeding time, it also is a great opportunity to change the diaper. You tend to do this in limited light as you don't want the baby to fully become alert before the feeding as you are hoping that you can sneak back to bed for a couple of hours once the feeding is done. I quickly get all of my supplies needed ready: diaper, wipes, warm wet facecloth and butt cream. Still somewhat groggy, I strip Masyn's lower body down and peak into the diaper; number 1 and 2 in there so this is a good sign for me. I grab the wipes and clean the mess up and stuff the dirty remains into the used diaper. Methodically, I pull the dirty diaper away and replace it with a new one. Just as I go to grab the warm facecloth, a cannon of a shot comes out of my child. I jerk as if being shot and the next thing I know, there is that seedy mustard like crap EVERYWHERE; down my arm, all over the wall, the change table and floor. I look down at Masyn who I swear was grinning at me and looking all wided eyed and innocent. I probably stood there for about a minute in complete shock, let an expletive out and then with a resigned sigh, went and turned on the light to begin the tedious clean up.

With a newborn now wailing because she is cold, wet, dirty and hungry, I clean her up and then put her back in the crib. I then attempt to wash myself up, then the change table, wall and carpet. Running quickly into the bathroom, I again wash my arms and hubby goes to me "What is going on?". I reply " Masyn just crapped everywhere including all over me" ... Hubby: "Why didn't you call me to help?"

Hmmm .... errr .... you would have thought perhaps that something was up with me swearing under my breath OR the lights were turned on at 5:00 AM OR even Masyn's five minutes worth of wailing. Geez ....... men. Instead of letting a smart assed remark come out of my mouth, I calmly told him that I didn't want to wake him up and then went back into Masyn's room to feed her and pray that she would go back to sleep. Which for the records she didn't ......