Fashion Friday

Like fashion straight out of Flashdance with Irene Cara's "What a Feeling" blaring in the background, Masyn just needs to continue working on growing that feather mullet and invest in a terry cloth headband. Have to say that I LOVE these baby leggings (Thanks Auntie Janny)! Very convenient to put on your baby with a diaper shirt when slumming it around the house to ensure that they keep warm. No fussing with trying to put pants on and off when dealing with diaper changes.


Now ... if only I could find a cute little jean skirt with say a brown little shirt, then Masyn would be one styling little girl when we go out in public. She might hate me for it later, but I have to say that I will be envious of her style when she is all decked out at that particular moment.

It is a Hip Thing

Cheesy title I know but it cracked me up. Masyn went yesterday for her ultrasound on her hips. Because she was in the Frank Breech position for more than half of the pregnancy, there was a chance that she could have developed hip dysplasia. It is routine for the pediatricians here to test for that at 6 weeks in the event there was dysplasia, then a brace would be worn before the baby becomes too mobile.

I am happy to report that Masyn's little hips are perfectly normal and that she did fabulous throughout the ultrasound. She even went so far to impress the pediatrician who commented in her 10 years of doing this, she had never had a baby who was so willing to be malleable. Masyn just lied there and let us put her in whatever position needed; even if it was uncomfortable. When so, she would whimper, but didn't fight the position. Instead of taking the routine 1+ hours, we were finished in 15 minutes.

On a side note, my baby is 6 weeks old today. Where has the time gone? It seems just like yesterday that I was going to go in for the ECV. This is the only part that I hate about parenthood; time. It seems like you have such little time with your children and them being babies. For me anyways, I feel that I don't have enough time to enjoy and savour each moment with my children. I think that I am going to lobby for longer days and longer years, that way I will get my fill of my children without feeling cheated by time. Anyone else in on board for that?

Wordless Wednesday

The Next John Wayne

Calgary Stampede July 2006

Femme Bots

Remember in Austin Powers when Dr. Evil introduced his newest weapon; the Femme Bots? Remember how those machines were svelte bombshells with big "guns" that could mezmerise the enemy before shooting off a round of bullets, hence effectively wiping out all threats? Well, being a breast feeding momma is kind of like belonging to that Femme Bot exclusive club. I mean, I am blonde, I now have the "guns" too and the only real difference is that instead of the tiny firm waist, I have a rollie pollie waist. Oh yes ... and well er ... my "guns" are a little unbalanced.

You see, my right breast is your classic overachiever. It always wants to be chosen first for feedings and figures if it is fuller, then it is better. Where as my left breast is your silent but reliable type. It may not get rock hard and lumpy, but it can provide all the milk your child needs over an extended period of feeding. The one thing that the both of them have in common is that instead of shooting off bullets to your unknown suspect, my let down has more power than the Niagara Falls supplying power to Ontario and New York state. Poor Masyn (and Kaelen too when I breastfed him) has been subject to more than one good shower in the face when it gets too powerful for her to keep up. There are times that I am practically lying at a 45 degree angle on my back to try and avoid both her choking and getting a nice warm milk bath. In reality, if I was a smart girl, I would have purchased stock shares in Johnson & Johnson disposable breast pads. By now, I would have been rich just on myself and the usage that I get out of that product.

So that brings me back to the Femme Bots. I am thinking that I may have missed my invitation somewhere along the line to be a part of that exclusive club, despite my lopsidedness. Until these "guns" learn to regulate themselves, I am so huge (and in particular the overachiever breast) that Pammy Anderson would be envious of me. I do have to say, that being a lopsided, semi fat Femme Bot certainly appeals to the quirkyness of Austin Powers no?

Hey: Mike Myers, if you are reading this, give this Canadian bombshell a call!

Wordless Wednesday

Big Brother Love

Movie Meme

Challenged by Kate over at Peeping Moms, here are my experiences with movies. I will forewarn you though, it is boring because I am just not really a movie person. I can't sit still long enough to make it through most of them.

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
Hands down - Grease

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.
None. I very rarely ever have gone to the theater.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Sir Anthony Hopkins or Sean Penn

4. Name an actor that would make you less inclined to see a movie.
Without a doubt; Tom Cruise. He truly makes me puke and I feel that he is extremely over rated.

5. Name a movie that you CAN and DO quote from.
Errr .... does Barney count? It is a very efficient way to ensure that my son does things some days. If not, then none. Just ask my sister: I am horrid at remembering stuff like that.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Easy - Grease. When watching the movie too, I can recite all of the lines for all of the characters too!

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
Grease again. I have been known to do it a Karoake too!

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
I Am Sam. One of my all time favourite movies.

9. Name a movie that you own.
All of the Harry Potters.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Mark Walberg. He just keeps getting better really.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive in theater? If so, what?
First movie I ever recall seeing was with my family at the drive in. Superman!

12. Ever made out in a movie?
A rental movie at home - yes. In a theater - no.

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.
Can you say anything current?

14. Ever walked out of a movie?
Nope. Never really have gone to a theater but have stopped many a rental movie.

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
Can't think of one.

16. Popcorn?
Yep. With lots of butter too!

17. How often do you go to the movies?
Never. Maybe once every five years ....

18. What is the last movie you saw in a theater?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

19. What is your favourite/preferred genre of movie?
Old school comedy with actors such as Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and John Candy

20. What is the first movie you remember seeing in a theater.
Honestly have no clue.

21. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
Silence of the Lambs. Way too creepy especially with a vivid imagination such as mine.

22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
Can't really think of one. I have been known to like some that no one else enjoys though.

23. What is the scariest movie you've seen?
Alien. I still remember watching it in a girlfriend's basement in grade 6 and being more scared than ever in my life. It didn't help either that the next door neighbor boys came and banged on the window just as the alien was popping out of a stomach either.

24. What is the funniest movie you've seen?
Now this I can answer: Uncle Buck, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, What About Bob, Shrek

And you? Wanna play?

Meeting an Old Friend

Some of you may not think that this is weird but yesterday, I met Jenn from My Life in a Nutshell! How? I was at the mall (one of many in Calgary) with the kids as I had to purchase a few birthday presents and have coffee with my best bud Debbie. I saw Jenn in Children's Place first and did a double take. I knew that I recognized her from somewhere and it took me a minute to process just how. By that time, she and her handsome little man had left the store. I met Debbie shortly thereafter and told her that I thought that I saw a blogging friend but didn't approach her. Not ten minutes later, there was Jenn again so I just had to approach her and introduce myself!

For me, it was weird as what are the chances of running into someone in a city of a million people, that you have only ever chatted on the internet with? Wanna know something? Her little man is much more gorgeous in person!

Jenn, if you are reading this, it was a pleasure to meet you! I hope that I didn't freak you out by recognizing you via pictures from your site but it was such a pleasure to formally put a smiling face and warm voice to your blogging identity!

Possessions

It is a little late, but better late than never really. Following the inquiry set forth in Stephanie's post, (see Monday, March 12th post) here are just a few possessions that are treasured by me:

If you ask me what my most treasured possession is, I would likely reply photos. Photos mean the world to me as they are your window into fond memories and glimpses of treasured love. I am always paranoid that one day my house will burn down and I will lose all of my precious pictures. I have most of my pictures backed up and plan on keeping copies off site, likely in a safety deposit box. Weird? Perhaps, but they are truly so important to me.

The picture collage to the left in this picture is a Christmas gift my mom gave to both my sister and I quite a few years ago. As many of you know by now, we lost our dad very suddenly to unknown causes in 1986. Even on the brink of adulthood, it is hard to remember what your dad looks like, so this collage is hung prominently right outside our bedroom, in the hallway where it can be seen from almost every angle in the house. Each day I show my children who their grandpa is and tell them that he is watching over them and showering them in love.

The blue doll to the right is my dolly. My father's mom knit it for me when I was just a baby and this dolly has been to the moon and back with me. She was my protector when I was in the children's hospital during the winters when I was so sick with either bronchitis or pneumonia between the ages of 3 - 7, she has heard all of my heartaches and all of my dreams.

The pink blanket is a baby blanket that my mom and her mom made for me. And the patchwork quilt that everything is on is again, a quilt that my mom and her mom made for me (and my sis) when I was probably around the age of 4 or 5.

All of these possessions remind me of how loved I was as a child and how truly blessed I was to grow up in the family that I had. Looking upon them now, makes me all that more determined to ensure that my children will have keepsake mementos such as these to look at and reflect upon when they get older. It truly is so much fun to show Kaelen (and Masyn when she gets older) Mommy's stuff from when she was a baby. I also have other items such as receiving blankets which I used now to wrap my children in and of course many photos albums.

What are treasured possessions for you? If you haven't already shared, please do so.

Wordless Wednesday

He kind of eerily looks like Elton John doesn't he?

My Little Angels

This morning, I wasn't quick enough to serve breakfast to Kaelen as I was busy feeding Masyn. So, the resourceful little munchkin helped himself to the box of Cheerios and then snuck up to my bed to gorge on them while watching TV. I am still picking Cheerios out of my sheets.

This was taken this afternoon of Masyn in all of her stretched out glory. As you can see, my children are truly precious little angels.

Alter Egos

As Kaelen gets older, his imagination gets noticably more creative. I love watching his imagination grow and am constantly entertained with what he comes up with. Of late, Kaelen has been switching back and forth between a few alter egos. On any given day, one moment he could be one ego and just when you get on the same page with him and call him by the appropriate name, he will correct you (rather loudly too) that you are wrong and that he is another. To give you an idea of these egos, here are the favourites of late:

Shrek - When in this ego mode, you can only address him as Shrek and only the chosen ones can enter his swamp (aka: his bedroom). Mommy gets the special ranking of Princess Fiona and Shrek plans on marrying me someday soon because we love each other. Daddy gets the appropriate title of Donkey and quite often is banned from the swamp, where as Mommy gets the all access pass. There are some days that Mommy is in complete agreement that Daddy is named an Ass (hee hee).

Superhero - This ego doesn't have a particular Superhero other than Kaelen labels himself as a superhero. This ego usually comes forth when Kaelen achieves an accomplishment that he is particularly proud of. Like Shrek, when in this ego mode, you can only address him as Superhero.

Luongo - This ego is the strongest and the most often used ego. 90% of the time, you can only address Kaelen as Luongo. Who is Luongo? Well, he is probably the best goalie in the NHL right now. He also happens to play for our favourite hockey team; the Vancouver Canucks. Did I forget to mention that he is also Kaelen's hockey hero?

Hockey Player - When not Luongo and Kaelen is in hockey mode, he is a hockey player. No player in particular, but you will be quickly reprimanded if you call him Luongo when he is in fact a hockey player.

Little Boy - This alter ego has been making appearances of late; especially when we try to introduce the idea of pooping on the potty or hiding that bottle of milk right before bedtime. That is usually when Kaelen reminds us that he is in fact a little boy, our little baby and that we should cater to his whims.

Big Boy - Out of all of Kaelen's alter egos, this is the one that gives me the most concern when he is in this mode. While watching him and praising him for his accomplishments is certainly rewarding, there is the downside to it too. Just two days ago, when I was praising him for being such a good big brother for helping me bathe Masyn, I grabbed him to me, hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He promptly yelled "No Mommy! Me big boy now!" and then with a look of disgust, wiped his cheek clean of any Mommy germs that may have lingered from the kiss.

A "Crappy" Situation

When Kaelen was a newborn/infant, changing his diaper was a race against time. The "time" meaning that we would race against the inevitable spraying of his little weenie once it realize it had freedom. Paul was often the recipient of a nice spray down of pee which would lead to peels of laughter between the two of us.

Obviously, the risk of being sprayed down with pee from Masyn is pretty slim given the body parts, but what Masyn has down pat that her brother could only occassionally accomplish is the uncanny ability to cannon fire that butt of hers. Masyn has the angelic look down pat where she is eager to have a fresh butt, but Mommy has caught on if only recently in knowing that this is just a lure for her personal amusement.

Case in hand: It was 5:00am on Wednesday morning and like most mothers, when it is feeding time, it also is a great opportunity to change the diaper. You tend to do this in limited light as you don't want the baby to fully become alert before the feeding as you are hoping that you can sneak back to bed for a couple of hours once the feeding is done. I quickly get all of my supplies needed ready: diaper, wipes, warm wet facecloth and butt cream. Still somewhat groggy, I strip Masyn's lower body down and peak into the diaper; number 1 and 2 in there so this is a good sign for me. I grab the wipes and clean the mess up and stuff the dirty remains into the used diaper. Methodically, I pull the dirty diaper away and replace it with a new one. Just as I go to grab the warm facecloth, a cannon of a shot comes out of my child. I jerk as if being shot and the next thing I know, there is that seedy mustard like crap EVERYWHERE; down my arm, all over the wall, the change table and floor. I look down at Masyn who I swear was grinning at me and looking all wided eyed and innocent. I probably stood there for about a minute in complete shock, let an expletive out and then with a resigned sigh, went and turned on the light to begin the tedious clean up.

With a newborn now wailing because she is cold, wet, dirty and hungry, I clean her up and then put her back in the crib. I then attempt to wash myself up, then the change table, wall and carpet. Running quickly into the bathroom, I again wash my arms and hubby goes to me "What is going on?". I reply " Masyn just crapped everywhere including all over me" ... Hubby: "Why didn't you call me to help?"

Hmmm .... errr .... you would have thought perhaps that something was up with me swearing under my breath OR the lights were turned on at 5:00 AM OR even Masyn's five minutes worth of wailing. Geez ....... men. Instead of letting a smart assed remark come out of my mouth, I calmly told him that I didn't want to wake him up and then went back into Masyn's room to feed her and pray that she would go back to sleep. Which for the records she didn't ......

Wordless Wednesday

Winter Time Fun

Who is the real kid in these pictures?

Taken on Valentine's Day, Daddy built a snow tunnel right beside the hockey rink.

Pregnant Belly Pic

I know that I posted this only a couple of weeks ago, but I was tagged so would like to play along.

Sadly ... this is the only picture that I have of my rounded belly in either pregnancy. At least Kaelen is in it to share the spotlight with me.



If you want to play along, visit Steph over at Adventures in Baby Wearing

Flailing About

Two weeks old and isn't she cute? I just love how newborns/infants have no control over their limbs as they learn to move them. The flailing is about as graceful as an elephant doing ballet .... did I forget to mention the grunting too?

It Was Worth Everything

In 26 days, there are some statistics in my life that reflect the past 9+ months and it will go like this:

I will have swallowed 294 baby aspirin
I will have swallowed 294 pre-natal vitamins
I will have injected 329 needles filled with Heparin into my tummy and/or hips

And what did this all equate to? A gorgeous and precious daughter.

For a while, I was in complete devastation thinking that I would never have another baby to hold in my arms and give Kaelen a playmate. I took our ability to easily conceive for granted and never dreamed that I would struggle with miscarriages. It was something that I would always have compassion for when hearing about it happening to another person, never thinking for a moment that I would become that person. I became that person and it was a blindside. It devastated me and put me into a tail spin of fear and grief. It was hard as doctors, family, friends and coworkers would try to tell me that "it just wasn't meant to be" or perhaps it was for the better because something was wrong with the fetus. Hearing those words, in which I admit that I too have said to others, made me feel completely alone and depressed. I realized at the time that there really were no words to comfort a woman when she is faced with this loss. After the first miscarriage, I tried to take the positive approach and chalk the loss up to "a thing that just happens. A course of nature". But when I got pregnant two months later and ended up losing the pregnancy again, I was filled with this incredible sense of fear and incompetence; like it was something that was within me that was causing these losses. I began researching all that I could to figure out what caused miscarriages and how I could best prevent them. There is also this unwritten rule that many doctors follow where a woman must experience three consecutive miscarriages before any testing will be done (unless of course a woman were to miscarry in the second trimester or later). Thankfully, I am blessed to have a family doctor who began immediately to run a panel of preliminary tests on me once I confided my fears to her; that I was terrified of losing another pregnancy or that I for some reason wouldn't be able to get pregnant again. Within two weeks, some tests came back indicating that perhaps my body did not produce enough progesterone to carry a pregnancy through the first trimester. However, a follow up test later that week ruled that out. What did come forth after that was the discovery that I had a blood clotting disorder; a Protein S and Antithrombin Deficiency. Imagine the fear within me that elevated significantly when I was told to not get pregnant under any circumstances until I had seen the specialist; that there was a risk of my life being endangered should I get pregnant without the proper treatment. And of course, it was too late: I was pregnant again. The specialist was notified and I was put on a daily baby aspirin in the effort to help both myself and the pregnancy. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to help and I miscarried again.

The specialist ran some more testing and decided upon treating my next pregnancy with both baby aspirin and heparin injections. Heparin in case you didn't know is an anti-coagulant serum that is injected into your fatty tissues. It is a daunting task at first that I found took a real emotional toll when I couldn't get the needle inserted correctly or if I hit a blood vessel and ended up with massive bruising. Luckily, I got pregnant again right away in June 2006 and I started with my daily regiment apprehensively. I was filled with a sense of doom that this pregnancy would not hold and it got off to a shaky start; I had a blood clot to the gestational sac which sat right beside the baby. This clot is commonly referred to as a subchorionic bleed and causes both bleeding and cramping. About 50% of the time, it will cause miscarriage and if not, then will usually quit growing by the time you hit week 17/18 of a pregnancy.

Looking back to the summer and fall, I can honestly say that I was depressed and likely very difficult to be around. Each day I woke up with a dreaded sense of doom that "this could be the day that I miscarry". Despite many talks with myself, I couldn't shake the feeling nor get myself out of the misery. So many people point out to you that you should be thankful for your blessings, and in my case this pregnancy. After a while you become bitter upon hearing that because deep down you are excited, but you are too scared to let yourself believe too. Too scared that you will relive the same nightmare again; that you will have to deal with the same devastation of loss or the wonder of "What did I do wrong?". I found once I got past the point of being worried of miscarrying, a whole new element was brought to light: Preterm Labour. I had Kaelen at 33 weeks very spontaneously and I had experienced preterm labour at 17 weeks with Masyn to the point that I was placed on a two week bed rest. The focus on preterm labour became significant from week 27 and on. The specialists figure that my blood disorder was also the leading cause for Kaelen's premature birth due to the placenta basically disintegrating causing his birth. That is a common characteristic of this disorder if left untreated as is my body passing clots to the fetus.

Again, people would tell me to quit being so nervous and after a while I would just quip back for them to walk a day in my shoes and then perhaps they would understand where I was coming from. I truly tried in vain not to focus on all that could go wrong but it was always lingering in the back of my mind.

I can honestly say that I did have profound moments where I enjoyed the pregnancy and all that came with it. I didn't mind the weight gain, the heartburn and horrible hair days. I loved the movement from within by Masyn and all the dreams that went along with it wondering what she looked like and what the future holds for her.

So, how does this long post tie into what happens in 26 days? Well, for me it will mean no more injections nor baby aspirin. This has truly been an interesting life experience for me, but worth every single heartache, struggle and insecurity. I have been blessed with a precious little girl who along with her brother, make my days filled with constant radiant sunshine. I think the path to completing my family despite the heartache has allowed me to become a better mother, wife and person in general. I have learned not to take things for granted and to find the blessing in all that I have. I don't let the little things bother me anymore because there are more important things to focus on: my family.

Question of the Week

Why is it that without fail in the middle of the night, when you are being as quiet and efficient as possible that your precious little baby will complicate matters?

Case in hand: When trying to change a dirty diaper in the dimmed light of night, trying to be quick as to not totally wake your baby, that as soon as you put a fresh one on, they will crap themselves silly within 30 seconds? Only to compel you to change that diaper yet again thus fully waking your little stinker ......

Gotta love them. And as for my daughter, it allows her to get squirrley and see the exciting world around her at 2:00 am.