Fate

Some people believe in fate; some don't. Some people believe in love at first sight; others don't. How many people can claim that they met their husband in a bar? Okay, lets qualify that a little better: How many people can claim that they met their husband drunk as a skunk in a bar? Both of us had had our fair share of drinks that night and despite living in a small little town, our paths had never crossed. Paul had only been living in Nelson for 3 weeks before he sealed his fate: me. I often tell him that it is his fault that he met me because he was the one that swore to all of his buddies back in Quesnel that girls were off limits and that he was just going to concentrate on school, get it done and then out again. Little did Paul know that his life would forever be changed on Friday, November 24, 1993 .......

Yes. I am one of those corny women that have this amazing ability to remember dates without really needing to. It is not like I write them down, but they stick in my mind. It is not like Paul and I met in this incredibly romantic setting either. We were in a nightclub, he asked me to dance and continued to dance for the remaining 3 songs of the night. That is it. But what struck me that night, which is still so clear in my mind, is how polite and respectful he was. We laughed and had fun for three songs. That's it. We barely got to exchange names in a greeting before the bar was closed and it was time to go home. I managed to pass on enough information that Paul would know where to find me the next night. I wanted to meet this boy again. He was the first boy in many years that I instantly felt comfortable around. Comfortable in the sense that I would not have to hold my constant guard up against him nor be on the look out for sleezy sex attempting moves or even physical harm. I instantaneously felt secure around Paul which was something so out of the ordinary for me.

The next night, I was working a part time job in a busy bar and Paul showed up. I didn't have much of a chance to talk with him as the bar was packed, the patrons demanding and Doug and the Slugs were rocking it out hard in the corner. But just seeing Paul with his smiling eyes and telling me to smile was enough to ensure that I was sailing on cloud nine for the remainder of my shift. Once my shift was done, I quickly hurried back to the nightclub from the night before just to get a dance or two in with Paul. I was intrigued. I wanted to know more about this boy.

Again, after two dances, the night was done and this polite boy asked me if I would be interested in going to a movie with him the next night. Without hesitation I said yes and gave him my phone number to call me. That was it. He went his way and I went mine. Again, I was shocked. I was jaded. Like seriously jaded against men; all of the men in my life up until 21 years of age I had felt let me down. But, there was something about Paul that completely intrigued me.

So we went on our movie date on that Sunday, November 26th: our first official date or should I say chance for conversation. You know it must be true love when your date takes to to the blockbuster hit: The Beverly Hillbillies. Paul even fell asleep at one point during the movie, which he still denies it to this day. After the movie, we started to talk. We had so much in common: our love of sports such as playing volleyball, we were both hockey and football fanattics and even loving the same teams (Vancouver Canucks and Miami Dolphins). I remember thinking to myself: Is this love at first sight? Like how can this get any better?

After two years of dating casually, we decided to take it to the next level: living in sin. It was one of those things that we never really discussed; we just did. I don't think his parents were overly impressed at the time or for even a couple years later, but we did it anyways. We lived in sin for almost 10 years, focusing on paying off our student loans and getting our careers established. We were committed and knew that we would be spending the rest of our lives together despite the everyday questioning from people about our committment. Why weren't we married and what was wrong with Paul? On April 3, 2003, we boarded a plane with 24 of our friends and family to the Dominican Republic and on April 8, 2003 we officially tied the knot; legally becoming husband and wife. It was our grand plan in life. We were getting to the age where we wanted to start having children, but it was very important to us that we were married before doing so.

Life for the two of us keeps getting better and better. We have so much fun together, despite being borderline polar opposites. Paul likes to be social, have social drinks and be the life of a party; I would much prefer intimate settings and deep talks. He likes to watch TV; I am an avid reader. I am a communicator; he is SO not. I am all about making sure that everyone around me knows that I love them in case something happens; Paul thinks that it is morbid and naively takes it for granted that everyone will be there tomorrow. But despite these differences, we make it work. We love participating in activities together like golfing, curling, volleyball, badminton or running. And now, I think the most important activity is parenting together. We love it and love planning our family outings. I fall in love with Paul more and more each day when I see him with our son. He is a fantastic dad and it is going to be so much fun watching him parent our children as they grow. He will be the fun Daddy. The Daddy that gets involved with everything and isn't scared to look stupid doing so in the process.

I firmly believe that Paul was meant to come into my life. He is my soul mate. And yes, I do believe firmly in fate .... now. After all of these years, we are still going strong and will remain so.

Thank heavens for Friday, November 24, 1993 .... it will be a day that forever changed my life for the better.