Sweet Dreams and Wet Kisses

Life is so incredibly precious when you become a Mom. It is like the world is a brighter place and full of hope. When you look at your child, you just imagine what their potential can be in life. You know that you will be there to support them to achieve their goals, and that you will be there to hold them if they were to fail. You hope that they will have so much more than what you had in life and would go to great lengths to help ensure that it happens. For me though, as Kaelen grows each day, part of me becomes sad. I don't want my little boy to grow up just yet. Everyone keeps telling me that it only gets better as they get older, which I can imagine is true, but I want more time with him now. My son is so incredibly precious and I just can't get enough of the moments that we are having right now.

Since the day of Kaelen's birth, I have had this little thing where I rub noses with him, look him in the eyes and say "Hi Handsome. Do you know how much your Mommy loves you?"; and then give him a big kiss. 90% of the time, I end up with tears in my eyes as I am so overcome with love for this little boy. I just want time to stop so I can soak it all up even more.

Last night, I allowed myself the luxury of going to bed with him. My day was long, work was rough that day and I wasn't feeling the greatest. I just wanted to be around him because Kaelen brings me peace and happiness. The house was hot, the air was thick and heavy and Kaelen was restless. After 45 minutes of him wrestling around in bed, occassionally kicking me or banging into me, I was about to get up because I was becoming irritated.

Just as I was about to get up, Kaelen presses his soft little face against mine, nose to nose, and says "Hi. Hi. Hi. Mum baby" As I look into his smiling little face, he leans even closer to me and presses a wet sloppy kiss onto my cheek. In that moment, everything about that day, week and month before, was forgotten and I was infused with a warmth that I know was my heart swelling of love for this precious boy of mine. Did Kaelen know that Mommy just needed a simple gesture like that or, was it in his beautiful innocence that the timing was absolutely perfect?

I gathered him into my arms, cried and told him how much I loved him and then we wrestled around on the bed together with laughter and love. An hour later, Kaelen lay in his bed sprawled blissfully in slumber and Mommy reluctantly went to her bed.

But you know what? For the first time in two months, I had a good sleep.