Wordless Wednesday

The One Eyed Peeper

I Back ..... Well .... Almost .....

Okay, likely a few more days of recouping and then I will be back in full force haunting all of your blog sites and leaving comments. I am starting to feel better and am getting that itch to get up and moving about. The incision is healing nicely and the infection is starting to clear up. I am on a heavy dose of antibiotics until Sunday and then all should hopefully be tickety boo.

I kind of over did it yesterday. We had a doctor appointment for both Masyn and myself so just leaving the house to drive to the appointment gave me a taste of freedom that I just had to experience again right away. My aunt arrived into town in the afternoon and I suggested to her that we pick Kaelen up from the dayhome so she could have some playtime with him before dinner. So Masyn got packed up and off we went to grab Kaelen. After getting him into the van, I slyly suggested that perhaps we could hit the Superstore quickly so I could buy some more diapers and a laundry hamper for Masyn. I reassured my aunt that I was feeling fabulous and off we went.

The 15 minute jaunt into the Superstore felt more like an hour once I made it from the parking lot into the front entrance. I had a moment of hestitation as to whether I could do this or not, but then that rebellious part of me forced me to go ahead. I was like a jailbird getting her first day pass of freedom. We slowly made our way around the store and back to the van and I can honestly say that I barely made it. It was our of sheer will that made my feet continue to get to the van with a huge smile on my face. Did I overdo it? Yep. Did I pay for it last night and all day today? Yep. Would I do it again? Yep. It just felt so good to get out of the house for a bit after a week in a half being couped up in bed.

Just a few more days is what I need and then I am confident all will be well. I realize that I still have weeks of recovery left to do, but just the basic things like sitting down or walking around is what I am most looking forward to right now.

Oh ... did I happen to mention that my beautiful little girl has surpassed her birth weight already? Yep. Isn't she just so smart?

Question of the Day

For all of you moms out there with 2 or more children, did you live in a constant state of engorgement? How long did it take for your body to "regulate" itself?

I have finally realized that this may be the path for me with my Triple F's. Whether it is Kaelen running around like a wild man in the house, Masyn grunting in her sleep or me just thinking about my family, the boobs go on overdrive and fill themselves to the extreme.

Lordy .... I am so NOT a boob person.

We are now one full week into our journey together and life really couldn't get any better for Masyn and I. All of my reservations of being a Mommy to a girl have flown out of the window and now I look forward to holding up to my promises that I have sworn to my daughter these past few days. Masyn is just starting to open her eyes to check out the world around her and everytime I look into her dark blue eyes, I get excited for what the future holds for her and my family.

For the first time in my life, I know what peace and contentment feel like. I thought that I knew what it was before, but now realize that I was secretly searching for it. My life couldn't get any better now; I have a gorgeous little boy, a beautiful daughter and I am married to my true love. What more can a girl ask for? I am still flying on that high perhaps that you get after having a baby, if so, then I hope it never ends. My life is complete, my family is perfect and I am very excited to see what experiences and adventures await for my family.

Wordless Wednesday

Big Brother Love

Taken last night, here is a snap shot of what bedtime is like in our house now. Kaelen likes to cuddle and hold hands with his baby sister before story time starts in his bedroom. He is a great big brother already.

Still Coasting on that High .....

Thank you! Thank you! And thank you! Your comments and well wishes are greatly appreciated and I feel so very blessed to have good natured people such as yourselves in my life!

I am excited to say that we are home now. I was given the choice to stay or go late yesterday and jumped all over the ability to leave despite receiving the best quality care a new mommy could ask for. There is just something to be said about feeling like crap in the comfort of your own home rather than a busy hospital room.

So where to start ....

Masyn is a gorgeous little girl. She is definitely a tiny mite and I was truly surprised at how little she is. However, her small stature and tiny wails just spike the cuteness factor off the charts really. She is a fabulous feeder and we were blessed to have established breast feeding in the recover room right after the surgery! She latched perfectly her first time! For the first two days, she cluster fed demanding that Mommy provide some quality tasting moo, and Mommy's body was only too happy to accept the challenge seeing as I could have supplied every child in Africa with their own years worth of supply when breastfeeding Kaelen. How big can boobs get? I swear that I am working on a triple F at the moment and if Paul had a ten pin bowling hobby, I would have stolen his ball bag for a little support almost immediately. The boobies are huge, painfully engorged yet giving my daughter all of the nourishment that she could possibly ask for.

For now, Masyn eats and sleeps and decides to check the world out around her at 2:00 am. Luckily this Mommy is only too happy to comply with this night routine for now. It gives us a great opportunity to bond even more when there are little distractions around us.

How is Mommy doing? Well, I have certainly had better days, I am not going to lie. Whether it is due to a reaction from the spinal tap or a result of a few challenges during the cesarean, I am experiencing a severly swollen bladder to complicate things. For a lack of a better description, my bladder is swollen, spasming and trying to pee isn't the most pleasant experience. What the doctors can not determine is whether all of the swelling that I have is my uterus or is it my bladder .... It could also be an infection which I will be tested for come Tuesday if my discomforts are still prevalent. If I didn't have this, I could honestly say that I feel great. I know that the discomforts are only short term so hopefully they will phase out soon so I can fully enjoy my family.

Other than that, all is good in our household. As silly as it sounds, we were taken by surprise a little at Masyn's arrival despite knowing that there was a small percentage of that happening. The ironic thing is that Masyn decided that she was going to come irregardless of whether the ECV worked or not. When getting ready for the ECV and having both the ultrasound and non stress test, it was evident that I was experiencing mild contractions. They were mild in the sense that I chalked the discomfort up to being constipated. (insert big smile here). After the ECV was complete and the perinatologist deciding that there was no use in stressing her out (as she hadn't during the procedure), I was hooked back up to the non stress machine for the mandatory 20 minutes to ensure that Masyn was okay. It was then that it was obvious that I was in labour as my contractions were only 2 minutes apart. I can still somewhat sheepishly say that I didn't really think much of them and was shocked to learn that I had gone from being 2 cms dialated to 7 cms within 45 minutes. By the time the reality of that sunk in, I was being wheeled down to OR for the cesarean that I have been secretly terrified to have. For me, the cesarean still seems cold and unnatural and I really struggled with keeping my emotions in check while being prepped for surgery. The emotions got completely out of hand upon hearing my baby girl cry out to the world at being yanked out of her warm oven and seeing her in all of her naked glory covered in vernix, blood, poop, pee and all those other good birthing fluids. Experiencing this all with my hubby wiping away my tears made it easier to realize that all was going to be okay and soon, I would be able to hold my precious angel. I got my wish almost immediately upon entering the recovery room and the rest .... well you know.

So, I am off to attempt to nurse my baby with these hugely engorged breasts of mine but first perhaps a few cold packs to help soften these puppies up. I know, I know ... Ellen and Jan, you guys are probably torn between shock and laughter that I would write so bluntly about all of this, meanwhile all of my Mommy friends are likely smiling and laughing in total understanding.

Until tomorrow .... take care and thank you all again for all of your support!!!

Introducing.....Masyn McIvor Whittingham

Hello all!

As promised - auntie stole the camera just so everyone could see this beautiful bundle of joy!! I brought my laptop to the hospital today and Allie was able to read all of your comments and appreciates the kind words! Rumour has it that she will be back home tomorrow and I am sure will be back to blogging as soon as she can!

Until then....enjoy!!

It's a Girl!!!

Okay - so you knew that already!! And in case you are wondering - this is not Allie. It is her sister posting on her behalf!
So, you all read about her getting bumped yesterday. Well, she went in this morning at 8:00am and got in relatively quickly. They did an ultrasound and determined that baby girl was still breech and that in fact Aliie was actually starting labour! It was extremely mild though. Well, they lost the bed for a bit and had to wait until about 11:30 to get the ECV done. After 3 good attempts, it was decided by baby girl that she just wasn't going to budge. After the procedure, labour intensified, and when it was clear it wasn't stopping, they decided to go ahead and get her out via c-section.

So............
at 3:38 this afternoon - Mayson McIvor Whittingham joined us! (Not sure on the spelling, just sure on the name!!)
She weighed 6lbs, 6oz and was 20 inches long. She has blue eyes and loads of black, curly hair!! I am sorry that I don't have a photo to show you - but will post one ASAP as she is gorgeous!!! Both mommy and baby are doing great. Allie is quite sore (as she proclaimed to me on the phone "I don't know why ANYONE would voluntarily do a c-section!!"), but doing good. I am going to see her and my new niece tomorrow and taking Kaelen with me as he is excited about meeting his new little sister.

Allie wanted me to post this short message for you all, so you would all know! If I can get the digital camera away from daddy, I will upload a photo for you all! Allie is not expected home until Sunday - but I am sure she will post as soon as she is able!! She will be able to tell this story much better than me - this is just the coles notes version!!

No News Is Good News ... Right?

I know that my good friend Karen will likely nod with a smirk of understanding on her face but we got bumped. Bumped? Yes bumped. We were supposed to have the ECV at 10:00 this morning but after five hours of waiting, a kind nurse took pity on us and asked if we could come back tomorrow morning at 8:00am as it was a literal gong show in the OR/Delivery ward.

In the five hours that we patiently waited, probably at least 9 women came into triage in full blown labour. The nurse mentioned to us that the past 48 hours has been nothing like she has seen before; a constant, steady stream of women in labour having babies.

I am sure that we were a godsend to deal with as we never got irritated with having to wait, nor were we irritated when we were told to come back tomorrow. And, I am proud to say that my mood was still relatively human after 17 hours of fasting. It was almost relief when the nurse told us to come back as I was starting to feel emotional, dizzy, shakey and of course hungry. It wouldn't be such a difficult feat to accomplish when not pregnant, but at 37 weeks pregnant, I can selfishly say that I was struggling. Selfish in the sense that I know that there are women in the world that are pregnant but likely only eat once in a 24 hour time period. Thankfully I am not one of those women.

I can't imagine what it is like to be a medical professional working in our city at the moment. We are in such a healthcare crunch due to the rapid growth of our city that we just don't have the proper infrastructure to deal with it accordingly. As a result, everyone loses. The patient is left frustrated with waiting and a perceived lack of service and the medical professional? Well ... can you imagine what it would be like to come to work everyday knowing that it will be a zoo in the hospital and you are somewhat helpless to deal with all of the issues at hand? People will be yelling and ripping a strip off of you as they have lost their patience in waiting meanwhile you feel helpless because you want to help ... you just can't.

So ... off we go to the hospital tomorrow. I hope that our wait isn't long and that we are able to get the ECV done. We will go prepared again though like we did today: there is nothing like a few good games of crib to pass time. And if not, then we will try again for Friday. Sooner or later we will get in and at present, this little one in my belly is thankfully showing no signs of wanting to come out any time soon.

Wordless Wednesday

True Love

A Day for Reflection .... and Cheering

The day has arrived. I have been waiting patiently for it to come and now that it is here, I have mixed feelings about it. It is my last day at work today. As I drove to work in two hours of rush hour traffic, the first thing that crossed my mind is "Yes. No more dealing with this absurdity!" But as I got closer to work, it also occurred to me that this was the last time I would likely be driving to this particular place of employment. I am a contract employee so I am not protected by provincial legislation for my employer to hold my position or one equivalent to it until my return. And, if you live in Canada, you can likely relate to the fact that there are millions out there that would give their eye teeth to work for a NHL team. So, if I were to come back, I would go right back into that pool of millions vying for a job whenever a posting comes out publicly.

What I didn't expect today is this feeling of sadness. I mean, here I am, the one that is always commenting about how I would love to be at home with my son and how much I am looking forward to it. So where did this sense of sadness come from? Perhaps the hormones are running rampant hence making me more emotional towards the well wishes that everyone is sending me, or to the multiple hugs that I am receiving or for the oh so thoughtful gifts that are being bestowed on me. I never expected any of this and am truly touched by the heartfelt generosity my co workers are showering me with.

So, to the few coworkers that I know lurk on my blog site, please pass on the message if I don't effectively do: I will miss the daily laughs with you all, I will miss the daily challenges that come up but most of all, I will miss everyone's smiling faces and the way come game day, that everyone pulls together and works like a team. I am honored to have work along side of you all and I will take this experience with me and learn everything that I can from it. Thank you for supporting me through the good times and the sad times. Thank you all for accepting me into the family fold almost immediately. The past year and a half has been a lot of fun for me and I will miss you all dearly.

Baby Update

Here is the scoop: I have been scheduled for an ECV (External Cephalic Version) on February 14th. Yep - that's right - Valentine's Day. It really is a good thing that I am not a person big on Valentine's Day and think the whole concept of it is hoakie. Although .... I do plan on showering my son with mushy affection and chocolate.

What is an ECV? Well this is what I understand will happen. Should I be wrong, please feel free to correct me:

I have to fast starting midnight on the 13th (or technically the 14th). My appointment is scheduled at the hospital for 10:00am the morning of the 14th. I am somewhat dismayed knowing that I can't eat for at least 10 hours .... gulp .... sniff .... how am I ever going to do that? Anyways, upon check in, I will be hooked up to an IV and likely the non stress test machine to monitor the baby and her movements. Sometime after that, depending on the schedule of the OR, I will be wheeled in and have an ultrasound done to determine the exact positioning of the baby. Once determining where the location of the umbilical cord and such is, the doctor doing the procedure will probe my belly with his/her hands to get a feel of the baby. At that point, he/she will try to "pick the baby out" of my pelvis and try to guide the baby to turn. So basically, one hand will be pushing the butt up, while the other hand will be pushing the shoulders/head downward. This procedure can take anywhere from 2 minutes to 10 minutes. Irregardless if the procedure is successful or not, I will have to remain in the hospital for an hour or two to ensure that I don't go into labor or that the baby becomes stressed.

Now there is a small chance that I could have this baby that day. During the procedure, if the baby were to become stressed (meaning that the heart rate drops), then I will be put under a general anesthetic and have an emergency cesarean. The percentage of that happening I think is like 5%.

If the procedure is successful, then it will be up to the baby and Mother Nature to decide when we get to meet our precious little bundle. My actual due date is March 8th. Should the procedure not be successful, meaning that the doctors couldn't flip the baby, then I will likely be scheduled for a cesarean the week of February 26th.

So as you can all see, there are some exciting times awaiting us over the next few weeks.

Road Rage Thursday

Okay, I will admit of late that it has been road rage everyday. Thankfully though I am a relatively calm road rage person and mostly just dream up revenge on how I would get even with all of those idiots out there. You know, like manufacture a Nerf car so when someone cuts me off or is ignorant, you can ram them good to scare the life out of them yet know that the only harm that would come to them is a frightened awareness. Some call it nasty; I call it a necessity. There would have to be very stringent guidelines to get one of these Nerf cars as just not anyone could have one. I also know, that eventually, the bottom line of revenue would decrease at car dealerships, auto repair shops, insurance companies and psychological therapist as the message of safe driving would be delivered - but hey, that is the price of business. I have already planned to share some of the profits to the overworked and underpaid service workers such as police, firemen and EMS personnel as they are the ones that always have to deal with the aftermath.

What brings this resentment on? Well ... to start .... this past week, I have averaged 3.75 hours of sitting in traffic trying to get to and from work; on a reasonable day, it would normally take me a maximum of an hour. I have witnessed idiotic driving to it's finest. Put a skiff of snow on the roads and you are set for a lifetime of TV reruns of the Worlds Worst Driver. Here are just a few of what gets me in the craw:

1. When road conditions are less than ideal, one must continue to go at least 20 KM/HR in excess of the speed limit.
2. There is also the reverse, if the road conditions even appear to be questionable, then one must drive at least 50 KM/HR below the suggested speed.
3. When merging into traffic, why must individuals think that it is a race and they can continue to drive along the shoulder of the road once the merge lane has ended and at times a ditch, thinking that they can get just those few extra cars ahead?
4. The lack of courtesy if an individual anticipates cars merging and leaves adequate space for the car to pull in there. A simple wave of the hand to acknowledge this gesture is required. Like come on ... did you really think it was your superior driving skills that got you there in the first place?
5. Suddenly cutting off traffic by swerving in and out of lanes as one thinks that they are in a Formula One race. Will it really get you there faster by not only pissing everyone off, but endangering everyone as well?
6. News Flash: not everyone is skilled at telepathy, therefore if you need to turn ... use your signal! It is located to the left on your steering wheel.
7. The last time I checked, a red light meant stop. It didn't mean that you could gun the gas pedal in hopes that the oncoming traffic would slow down for you.
8. Last but not least (for the moment), a turning lane means that you are to turn in the direction that it was made for. It is not meant for you to speed ahead of other cars, then cut back into the lane hence cutting off traffic for you to get to your destination 5 minutes ahead of the others.

Hmmm .... I think that I need a coffee .... or four .......

Wordless Wednesday

BELLY LAUGHS

Kaelen at 7 months old.

Mommy and the Invisibility Coat

For all of you who are big Harry Potter fans like myself, did you ever experience a moment of envy when Harry was given the Invisibility Cloak from Professor Dumbledore? Apparently I subconsciously did.

Now for those who don't know me, I am a blonde. Okay .... well a rapidly greying blonde, who has been known to practice the occasional moment of what you would call "Blonde Moments". You know ... those situations where you really don't think before you speak and things come out sounding totally stupid. Or ... those moments where things really don't make sense to you despite everyone else around giving you that look of disbelief and are secretly searching for evidence of lobotomy stitches. Yes? Well I had one of those moments the other day.

As it has been well documented on my blog .... my pregnancy has been a source of both humor, fear, pride and stress. At first I was dismayed that I looked fat; not pregnant. Then I hit the next stage where I kind of looked pregnant, but one could argue that it was fat. After that, it became that obvious pregnant look but just how far along. When a woman is pregnant, she wants to look pregnant. She wants to have that as a non verbal excuse if she happens not to be having a great hair day, or if the clothes aren't fitting just right or if she is just plain having an uncomfortable off day.

This brings me to what my sister now calls my Invisibility Coat. My winter ski jacket. When first realizing that I would be pregnant in the winter, one of the most immediate thoughts that crossed my mind was, "How on earth will I keep warm when outside". After confiding this to my sister, she had a closet full of old coats that she had worn prior to losing 60 lbs. We rummaged through that closet and picked out two dress coats that we felt would be suitable. One would be big no matter how big I got and the other would be perfectly suitable for that mid stage. I now had the answer for my winter dilema. Summer slowly turns to fall and fall rapidly turns to winter and before you know it the snow is here. Now I am not complaining, but I really haven't gained a lot of "apparent" weight so far in this pregnancy. Apparent meaning obvious. When pregnant with Kaelen, I gained 55 lbs and birthed him 7 weeks early! With this pregnancy, I have only gained 30 lbs and I am still pregnant! And, as most women can identify with, after a while, you get tired of wearing the same old thing day in and day out despite the excitement and determination just to wear it in the first place.

This brings me to my ski jacket. When wearing my ski jacket, in my mind, you really can't tell if I am pregnant or not .... and the best part is that I don't even look fat (in my mind). So over the past two months, I would entertain my vanity by wearing my ski jacket and feeling great. It was almost like I felt sexy again in an active way. I pretend as I walk around that I am that lithe and active Momma again, yet at the same time would whip open my jacket at any given moment to proudly show off my rounded belly.

My dear ol' sister however sees things differently. Just last week when meeting for lunch, she comments on my tubby, rotound form as I stand waiting for her. In was in a jest but I can honestly say that I was perplexed. After all, I was wearing my Invisibility Coat. You know ... the one that makes me look fabulous. I did make the fatal error by asking her "You seriously think?" and went on to confide that I thought that I didn't look pregnant in this coat. Much to my surprise, she started laughing her belly off and went on to share my comments to a few of my coworkers.

Now between my sister and coworkers, I get teased on a daily basis and asked if I am wearing my magic coat. They chalk it up to one of my blonde moments and I good naturedly respond yes and take it in stride. However, I won't really fess up to all of them that I truly thought that this coat made me look like a super model.

Perhaps those cliches about blondes are true ... or I am more obsessed with Harry Potter than I realized. Yes .... I think I will go with the Harry theory. Wouldn't you like to have an Invisibility Cloak or Coat though?

Big Brother Training

It is like boot camp for toddlers to prepare them for the arrival of a baby. Okay ... let me qualify that .... a fun boot camp .... or should I say dayhome. Kaelen got spoiled yesterday as the focus was placed upon him becoming a big brother. Being the only boy in the dayhome right now, one would think that he would attempt to polish up his studdly skills of flirting and shiester moves for the future. Instead, he played house with the girls.

Only playing house yesterday took on a new meaning. Kaelen learned via Cathy's daughters how to change stinky diapers on a dolly, how to give a dolly a bath, how to hold a dolly and how to hold a dolly when feeding her a bottle.

Dolly yesterday became Kaelen's sister. A trial run sister and Kaelen passed with flying colours. Now lets just hope that enthusiasm and knowledge stay fresh and are present when the real deal arrives.

Boys Night Out

The day has arrived that this Daddy has likely dreamed of since being told that his wife had just delivered him a son. Tonight that destiny is being fulfilled. The Vancouver Canucks are in town tonight and guess who scored the boys some tickets to the game? Yes! Super Mommy!

Daddy is estatic because his son has quicky developed into a fellow die hard Canuck fan, Kaelen is delirious because he gets to see his idol: Roberto Luongo ... and Mommy? Well, perhaps there is a tiny bit of envy going on right now because I am going to be missing out on their joy tonight, yet there is that other part of me that is excited: the house is ALL MINE!! A warm bath is drawing as we speak, a new novel is about to be cracked while the TV has been manuevered into the bathroom to air the hockey game .... you know .... just in case my boys happen to get panned on TV. I wonder if they thought ahead to make those "Hi Mom" signs ...... likely not.

Can't you just see their excitement? Too bad pictures couldn't be taken of them unknowingly tonight.

I Am A Good Mom

Aside from the repetitive question of "Are you ready do be done with this pregnancy?" , the other most frequently asked question is "Will you be going back to work after this baby?". And, my answer is always "Yes. I have to." Up until recently, part of me always felt like I needed to justify that answer by explaining that we needed the income for our household just to be able to make ends meet. There were times that you would get a nod in response but then my imagination would run amok and I would assume that the person facing me was summing me up:

1. She isn't a good mother because her kids are "Daycare Kids";
2. She is materialistic and is selfish by not wanting to go without therefore putting herself before her children; or,
3. If you can't afford to stay home, maybe you shouldn't be having kids.

Now some of those statements might sound dramatic, but they are true. I have heard them before. Not necessarily to my face, but in passing conversations amongst other women who happen to be gossiping about another. Why is it that we as women, find the need to be so cruel towards one another? Why is it that we find the need to talk about other's faults and get fixated on them?

I will be the first person to admit that I envy other mothers; particulary moms that have the ability to stay at home with their children. But being envious is okay. To me, there is a huge difference between envy and jealousy. Being envious is that you are aware of something someone has and/or does and wish that you have it as well. You recognize it as something that would be nice to have/experience but are not bitter about it. Being jealous is that you covet that quality and become negative towards it. You start to feel resentful that you don't have it which then leads to negative behaviour whether it is through words, or through actions. Jealousy can become hurtful, whereas envy can acknowledge circumstances and desires.

A fellow co-worker (referred to here on in as Friend A) came to work on Wednesday very obviously upset. You could tell that she had been crying and was barely holding it together. Upon seeing Friend A upset, I had asked her if all was okay. She replied yes, that all was okay but her best friend (referred to here on in as B Friend) had made a comment to her that she just was not able to let go. She felt silly by letting this upset her but just couldn't let it go. With me being a person who loves to both talk and comfort people, I eventually got it out of her. What was the comment? It was along the lines of B Friend criticizing Friend A for having to go back to work once her maternity leave was finished. B Friend shared that it was part of her marriage contract that once the children came, that she would stay at home; period. B Friend went on to point out that mothers should be at home and those mothers who go back to work do so for selfish reasons.

Upon hearing this, I got mad. I explained to Friend A that this may work for her B Friend, but it doesn't necessarily work for all other people. I explained to Friend A that in today's society, we all face different challenges in our lives and there is no longer a right way or a wrong way. That being a mother in general is a special priviledge and it allows for us as women to be so multi dimensional. While I am sure 90% of women out there dream of being able to stay home with their children, the fact of reality is that many can't. With society the way it is now, the cost of living is so high not to mention what the cost of educating our children will amount to 15 - 20 years down the road. For some of us women, we have to work outside of the house and raise our children at the same time. It is not a choice for us. To ensure that our babies are taken care of, have food on the table and a roof over their heads, we are obligated to go back to work. Being one of these women, it certainly has given me a whole new found respect for single mothers. I give them the highest kudos for doing what they do. I have all that much more appreciation for my life knowing that at least I have an amazing husband to come home to who assists in the rearing of our children. Can you imagine how difficult some days may get for those single mothers?

There are also those women out there that have established careers and they would like to continue on succeeding in that direction. Does this make them a bad mother for wanting to go back to work? No. In my opinion absolutely not. You see - we as women are all different. We are made to be different as that is evolution. However, we all have that common bond: the desire to nurture. Whether it is nurturing children, pets or a significant other. We have an instinctive need to share our love with something/someone other than upon ourselves. Why do we seem to have such obstacles in nurturing our fellow sisters though? Why do we have this incecent need to judge each other whether it is upon looks, how we mother our children or what our beliefs are?

A fellow blogger Stephanie, posted this last week and this again today. Take a moment to read them and the comments that follow. We have the power to change and support one another and to me, it is obvious that there are many of us out there that are capable of doing that.

Oh .... and to Friend A's B Friend and all of the other people that have asked me if I will be going back to work and made me feel judged: The answer is Yes. I have to. In a perfect world, I would love to be able to stay home but at this point in my life, it isn't an option. You see, I have to live my life and if I waited until the perfect financial opportunity to have children, I may have waited a lifetime. To me, there is no such thing as the perfect time unless you create it for yourself. But don't worry though; I am a great mother. My son and this baby within me are loved beyond anything else in my life. And together with my husband, we will continue to ensure that our children are protected, cherished and loved. Should you ever feel that I am failing at this, please come and talk to me about it rather than everyone else. After all, if you go directly to the source for your information, you are likely going to get the most accurate and truthful answer.

Oh Bother ....

Hot off the press .... Just got back from the doctor and things are relatively tickety boo - thank gosh!! The nurses and my doctors did a little dance when they saw me to celebrate that I was still pregnant and we had a few good laughs about it. I am lucky as this group of women who have cared for me for the past eight months are truly a good bunch of ladies. I can ask any silly question and never feel stupid for asking it and they are all so willing to share their experiences and opinions when asked.

Mommy and baby are both doing really well, despite the little stinker still being in a Frank Breech position. In fact, she has dropped further into my pelvis so we know that things are getting ready for the big moment. The ball however has been tossed back into my court and I have a few decisions to make by next Thursday; do I go for a ECV next week or just plan for a cesarean?

Natural vaginal birth has always been a real biggie for me. Something that I have always felt strongly about for me personally. When pregnant with Kaelen, my plan was to do as much as possible without assistance and my hubby knew that I wanted to avoid an epidural, absolutely NO episiotomoy and do my best to avoid a cesarean. Ironically, we never really had the time to deal with our birth plan as Kaelen had his own plans (like all babies do). Instead, he didn't give me the choice, but made my choice for me by just coming period. He was a true gentleman really because I avoided labour, I had no contractions and really only had to push like 3 times to birth him. With this pregnancy however, the odds of my delivery the way I would like seem to be getting smaller and smaller.

So, I pose a question to all of you mothers out there: Have any of you had an ECV done before? If so, what was your experience like? What was the result? If you haven't had to do an ECV, would you at least try it? The odds given to me of a success rate is 30% and there is a risk of bleeding to me as well as preterm labour. If I choose not to do the ECV, then it is almost a guaranteed scheduled cesarean as I am unwilling to take the chance on a breech birth. I have come too far for this baby to play the odds of risks even if it is in my favour of 5% or less.