A Day in the Life of the Whittinghams

Yes, we are alive

2011-04-28T20:16:00.002-06:00

Why is it so hard to find the time to sit down and blog? I mean, others find the time and way to do it, why can't I?

There is not a day that goes by that I don't have that inner mind dialogue plotting out what I am going to write about, yet after a day at work with people in my face and starring at a computer all day long, the last thing that I want to do is come home and blog. Instead, I want to try to find the pleasure in my children and focus on not feeling rushed with getting dinner ready, help with homework, bath the kids and then put them to bed.

Maybe I should invest in dragon dictation or a program that does voice recognition for doctors. If a computer program could do that for me, post along with pictures, then I would certainly be in big business!!

So. How are you?

A Year In Review .... The Whittingham Chapter

2010-12-28T22:03:00.002-07:00

Yes, the blogging dedication, talent and inspiration went into the toilet this year. Like one big flush and we were gone. 2010 has been a busy one for us and much to my surprise and secret irritation (when YOU make those comments about me never being here), there are people who read this.

Ahem yes. Funny when the whole idea of the blog was to keep family in touch with our lives and amazingly, when you stop blogging, you hear from the lurkers asking me if we are dead. So my dear, loving, endearing and ever loyal family and friends, starting tomorrow, over the next four days, you will get to read an epic narration of the achievements, surprises and yes, ahem, mistakes that the four of us have made and learned from throughout this year.

And because it is the kids that you truly care about and, I am a Mom so rarely miss an opportunity to chat about my children, we will begin with our little hockey buff, Kaelen. It is such riveting reading that I suggest that you come back tomorrow prior to dinner to avoid any chances of this website causing blogger to crash due to so many hits.

The 2nd Annual Pumpkin Quest

2010-10-24T18:51:00.004-06:00

On Friday, the kids and I went on our 2nd Annual Pumpkin Quest searching for the perfect pumpkin to add to our Halloween festivities. The pumpkin patch is actually a pumpkin barn, which is so much fun compared to shopping for a pumpkin in the grocery store. The only thing better would be to crawl through the actual patch to pick one ourselves. After my attempt to grow them last year, we have decided that visiting the local farm is a much, much more viable option.

Last year, we went a week earlier and wow - the selection was amazing and the kids had a blast. This year? One week later makes a big difference - the pickings were slim, however we made it a successful trip coming home with three gourds. They were not of course, as big as we had hoped, but nevertheless, we got three and also supported our local farmers market in doing so.

Now we are eagerly waiting to carve them up and roast those fine, delicious seeds. The argument in our house is when is the right time to carve them up. Hubby thinks that you can only do it the night before, but I am wanting to do it earlier so we can light it up nightly to enjoy it for a bit ... you know, kinda of like just sitting there and admiring a Christmas tree. So the question begs: when is the right time to carve up the pumpkin?

Discovering that Missing Something

2010-10-22T09:41:00.002-06:00

It has been so easy to get caught up in the hectic pace of life. There never seems to be time to get things done, money to pay for life's essentials nor the money to do the extra specials in life. You start your day running and end it in complete exhaustion yet always feeling like you haven't done enough, forgotten to do something or yearning for more. No one really tells you just how hard life in general is, about how it is all about balance and the key is searching for that balance.

You want the absolute best for your children so you give as much as you can. This may mean you take on extra shifts, work overtime, let them go to bed a half an hour later because you don't want to spoil the moment you have with them, yet know that you will pay for it the next day because they are tired. It means that your marriage gets strained because you are both trying to achieve the same goal and are getting burnt out doing so. It is easy to snap at one another and forget that they are having the same feelings of being overwhelmed, are tired and at a loss of how to change the current cycle of feeling incomplete.

It is so easy to forget your true blessings because the responsibility of paying bills and raising children is such a focused oriented job. We try to be frugal in our every day life: we don't over spend, we try to budget to the point that we really have no adult social life. Our children are spoiled with our love and we try to minimize our need to treat them by buying them things. We instead try to focus on activities that we can do with the children. Like going for bike rides, playing outside, reading books, doing crafts and creating imaginative adventures.

I am truly blessed in all aspects of my life: I have two fabulous children, a solid marriage to a man that I love with all of my heart. I am surrounded by love with family and good friends. I have a great job that I love, and we are all healthy.

I have been missing something of late and I have finally figured it out: I have been missing my outlet to share my life. I have been feeling guilty for not capturing my children's truly magical moments as much as I used to. I have been missing that sounding board that you get when you share your thoughts with others and getting the constructive feedback or encouraging support. So in short, I am back. And I am back for good. Oh, I may not be posting everyday, but I can tell you that I will be here many times throughout a week. I need to do this for my children and most importantly, for me.

An Apple A Day, Keeps the Doctor Away

2010-06-02T20:40:00.014-06:00

Huh. After months of prolonged absence, sporadic postings and mucho complaining, it appears that I am a lucky girl indeed. I DO have people who actually read my feeble attempts of putting life's challenges into words from the perspective of an often lonely, overworked, flighty yet dramatic housewife. And I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring, reading and leaving a comment whether it is on this site, or via the standard lurker format of an email or threatening phone call accusing me of leaving the planet Earth.

So, what has brought all of this on? Well, to be truthful, I wish it were something adventurous like living through a temperamental volcano mood swing like my good buddy Dader is experiencing right now. Or even something as distinguished as Goofball has suggested like publishing a book chronicling my life's most humbling and embarrassing moments to even suggesting that I am NASA's newest employee. I wish. I would make a most excellent astronaut and would be the first to volunteer to be hooked up to a hose and fix an external blip of our shuttle. And no, however I may dream for an "oops" moment to occur much to my husband's horror, there will not be another playmate for my children. I think my husband would rather conquer his fear of heights by bungee jumping off of the Eiffel Tower than be informed that he is going to be a Daddy again.

Instead, this exciting announcement is all about me, personally. You see, for the past two years I have struggled. I have struggled with feeling like a failure for not being able to obtain employment, so taking the bull by the horns, I took upon opening a daycare within my home. Two years later, I am done with it. It has been an excellent experience for me and a privilege to care for other people's children but my days were getting too long. Particularly during the golf season when my husband is never around. I was beginning to get resentful of never having me time. For being around children 24/7 and always making meals, cleaning the house or doing yardwork. It has taken me a long time to accept the truth that I am not the special kind of person that is needed to be able to do that kind of stuff. Instead, I want to appreciate every moment with my children without feeling resentful of being around them all of the time. I want to enjoy my house. I want to feel happy and not beaten down. I want to be social and not being too tired or touched out to do so. So my doors are officially closing in that chapter of my life labelled DAYHOME, come the end of the month.

Now I get to focus on the next chapter of my life: OFFICE MOTHER. I received a fantastic opportunity that I am super grateful to have been approached with and ultimately offered employment. Commencing the beginning of July, I will be working on a part time basis for an Ear, Nose, Throat Specialist's office. I will be trained in all aspects of the working environment short of being a surgery assistant. I will be able to utilize my rusty administrative skills, my overachieving organizations skills and fulfill that need for socializing by offering positive yet compassionate customer service to all of the doctor's patients. Within two years, my position will phase into full time (if I want) and it is with hopes of both parties (mine and the doctor) that we evolve into a stellar team that can conquer all medical challenges within that field for years to come. The doc and I are of the same age, with our children the same age, so ideally, he is hoping that I will remain with him up until time of his retirement. So, Miss Sara, no, this means that we will not be moving back to Calgary anytime soon, unless Paul is offered some swanky high paying job.

Most importantly out of all of this, is that I am feeling like I am getting control of my life again. Already the excitement is there to learn and do something challenging and new. I am looking forward to having the opportunity to do things at my son's school (because I will only be working part time), as well as at my daughter's, who will begin preschool come the fall. It means that will be able to spend time with my children and enjoy every moment of life with them again. I can focus solely upon them rather than having to share my time with them and other children. It means that I could have time for me and do things for me like start up running again or have a coffee date with a friend. For the first time in two years, life feels full of possibilities again rather than feeling like I am stuck in a rut. I look back upon our life since moving to Cranbrook and while I feel blessed with all that I have, it has been hard. It has been disappointing and it has been lonely. I found myself seeking validation and the need for appreciation being so alone but I was never finding what I was looking for. In the big picture, we are all busy. We are all overworked and have days where we feel totally unappreciated. I was dreaming of changing it, but was never given any kind of opportunity to do so ..... until now.

I feel so liberated. I feel so happy. There is a new spring in my step and I feel like I can conquer the world and all of the challenges that come with it. So, when I hit that first hurdle in the next few months and begin to question the whys of it all, just give me a gentle nudge okay? And, perhaps just maybe send me the link to this post to remind me of my own words and the feeling of this moment.

Shhhh .....

2010-06-01T21:12:00.003-06:00

Shhhh ..... lets see if anyone reads this blog still. Something super exciting is about to happen in my life.

The first one to ask is the first one to receive the answer .....

The New, Improved Look

2010-05-08T20:07:00.003-06:00

I took the kids to the Children's Festival today that was put on by a group of local organizations and businesses. The festival was very well done much to the credit of the incredible efforts of all of the volunteers.

However, upon entering the mayhem of events occurring, it became apparent that keeping tabs on your own children could become an issue. That thought didn't occur to me though until I got home and realized that two creatures were in the truck with me as opposed to my sweet, beautiful children:

Not Enough Time

2010-05-02T09:26:00.003-06:00

Two months ago it seemed like a great idea: enroll kids into spring sports. Both my husband and I believe that being involved in sports and being part of a team is important not only for the physical aspect but that of the emotional as well. It works for our family and may not for others, which is okay. Our children are starting to get to that age where they can participate in many different sports and we are open to letting them try pretty much everything while they are young and while it is relatively affordable. By next year, at the age of six, Kaelen's sporting endeavors will likely be cut in half due to cost and because of the time that is involved. School becomes a priority and as much as we would like to support our children in all that they want to do (which Kaelen would do every sport if given a chance), there just is not enough time in a day to do so.

Beginning this week, our household feels like it has been thrown into the midst of a boot camp training session. Where physical endurance is a must but an emotional endurance is a challenge yet is absolutely essential. I should qualify though that the emotional endurance is a requirement amongst the parents. The biggest obstacle is that little thing called effective time management. As parents, we all know that our once perfected skill gets thrown out of the window and fades into a distant, fond memory upon having children. Children have that uncanny knack of doing things their way and throwing you that wicked good ol curve ball. So in order for a parent to have emotional endurance amongst active children, we must be able to adapt to any situation with a smile on our face and the drive to get it done anyways.

I find myself complaining of late: a lot. I feel the need to need explain myself because people misunderstand or just give me that nod as if I am the neurotic mom. Truth be told, I likely am but with good reason. You see, I am the golf widow, so that means I have to jump into the ranks of those super moms that do everything on their own. I work full time raising other people's children which I might add, is not the easiest job. I am with my own children 24/7 with no breaks from them. I also manage the house as in pay the bills, do all of the yard work, fix all toilets, leaky faucets, grocery shop, do the laundry, attempt to keep it clean. On the good days, I done the fun cape and play with my kids, do silly dances and just forget about the list of Needs-To-Get-Done that never seems to shrink. Over the winter, I added hockey mom to my list and now I get the privilege of doing baseball on Mondays and Wednesdays, double soccer on Tuesdays with golf lessons on Thursdays. Of course, all of these extracurricular activities are at the perfect time of 5:30 pm on weeknights, because you know, there is so much time to wrap up work, eat dinner and relax afterwards.

And because I have so much time and apparently haven't learned the word that my daughter knows all too well (yes ... that would be NO), I am likely going to coach one of these soccer times on Tuesday nights, likely help run the hockey division come winter, become part of the PAC council for Kaelen's school and yes, even attempt to go to school albeit online. And somewhere with all of my free time, I will enjoy this hectic thing called life and remember to exhale if given a moment to do so.

So. How is your life going?

On Being Competitive

2010-04-27T10:06:00.002-06:00

I just recently read a really interesting article in the Canadian Todays Parent magazine. It discussed the issue of competitive mothers and why women as a whole appear to be ultra competitive with our children. Whether your child knows their ABC's by the age of 2 to eating 100% organic without a lick of sugar ever to pass a child's mouth. It discussed the way that mothers are quick to judge or at least appear to judge. And well, it feels like the truth doesn't it? There are times that I have been made to feel like such an utter, complete failure yet there have been times where I feel that I can hold my head up high with pride in knowing that I am doing something right. But, what exactly is right?

Trust me when I say that I am guilty of being one of the most judgemental and competitive people born on earth. I am getting better now, but I used to carry such a burden of envy, self pity and bitterness upon my shoulders and I wasn't afraid to use those traits verbally to make my point. However, since becoming a mother, I am learning that sometimes it is okay to say that you can't do something, that it is okay to ask for help or that it is normal to admit that you don't know something. My children have humbled me and they have taught me that things aren't always what they seem on the outside. They are teaching me that to truly be happy, you need to let go and just love unconditionally. To just accept what is happening and deal with it accordingly. It is tough. Especially for an individual like me who has a tendency to jump in to fix things, to want to fix things and to not know when to keep their mouth shut and hold back opinions. It is hard not to want to let go of all of those emotional frustrations when other people and children are involved. It is hard to not voice my opinion when it directly affects my children or if behaviours are witnessed that I don't want my children exposed to. But I am learning that this is a part of growing up for my children and for myself. No one is capable of raising the perfect child (although mine are pretty damn close) and it is healthy for everyone to make mistakes to learn from.

I am guilty of judging other parents and tend to forget that they too are struggling to figure out this thing called parenthood. But in my defense, I am aware of this flaw in my almost perfect personality, and I am working on it. I think twice now before opening my mouth in an attempt to offer my advice and may instead opt to clench my jaw and take a deep breath. Lord knows that I wish in the past that others had practiced this on me. I am tired of feeling like I am failing and instead am going to focus on how I am in the big picture perfecting. Perfecting because even though I am making mistakes in parenting, I am loving my children with my whole heart. I am loving them to my very best ability and supporting them in their journey of life.

Welcome Back

2010-04-23T09:38:00.004-06:00

Ah Ha!! I FINALLY figured it out and have fixed my laptop issues all on my own!! I am now eager to report and give you some warning that I am back - and have the total itch to blog on a regular basis again!!

Until then (which will be during either nap time or after work), for those of you who are not on Facebook and forget what we look like, here is a little picture of us taken a couple of weeks ago at the Kraft Hockeyville events.

Laptop Blues

2010-03-24T09:06:00.003-06:00

Dear Mr. Laptop,

I was so very excited when I first got you. I dreamed of what a fabulous relationship that we would have and together, we would capture all of life's finer and not so fine moments together. Your sleek look and design would allow for me to be portable and not stuck at a desk with Mr. Archaic PC.

The relationship while starting out great has soured over the past 7 months. You are becoming increasingly difficult to work with and make it all to easy for me to waive the white flag in defeat. Your obstinance in allowing me to access Blogger on a daily basis is down right rude and shall I even mention your mood swings with Facebook?

So my darling, you have forced my hand and I am now obligated to take drastic measures. In the very near future, you are going to be wiped out. Like totally wiped out. Lose all of your memories and bad habits. And hopefully, I will luck out and find a fabulous program that will allow you to be trained and work with me in a professional, friendly manner.

In the meantime, I am working on renewing my bond with Mr. Archaic PC because he seems to be pleased when I use him and cooperates accordingly. Sadly for him, he is stuck in a corner of the basement in a drafty, dark old office and sadly for me, that means I will have to battle the evil basement monsters on a nightly basis in order to share my life with the rest of the world on blogger.

Yours truly,

A Frustrated Mom

Getting the Grief

2010-03-09T14:03:00.003-07:00

Blogger is getting even with me - it has been virtually impossible to get into my blog to post for almost a week now.

But as Murphy's Law prevails, I can get in now but I don't have to time to post as the munchkins are getting rowdy.

Huh.

Losing Touch

2010-03-02T18:53:00.002-07:00

Dear Facebook, Blogger, Loyal Readers and Silent Lurkers,

At one time, I was one of those who were dead set against you, Facebook. I pegged you as a passing fad and there was no way on earth that I was going to jump on that bandwagon. I had been there and done that with MSN chatting and well, I became obsessed with it. My passion at that time was to capture my life and my experiences with Motherhood, enter Blogger. Blogger, you were my passion and I still think about you often. You poke me with silent guilt every day as I steadily ignore you and find multiple excuses as to why I can't sit down for five minutes and diarize my life. The blame of my lack of ability to keep you updated on my life can be placed solely on the smug shoulders of Facebook. I am sorry I am letting you down Blogger, but I will endeavour to make it up to you by attempting to post at least twice a week. It is a small goal really, but if I can accomplish that, then I will be fired up to do it at least four times a week.

As for my loyal readers, gosh I love you guys. But lets be honest here, you are most of my friends on Facebook too so my lack of initiative to post is also your fault cause we talk amongst each other everyday.

And you lurkers? Well .... you might give me more incentive to post our life adventures a little more if you didn't lurk and chose to leave me a comment as opposed to the occasional guilt ridden phone call or email.

In the big picture though, I am back and watch out. Equipped with that handy new camera and children who are entertaining as hell, I have the goods to keep everyone happy whether you Facebook me, Blog comment me, phone me or email me.

Yours truly,

Allie

Is There A Tooth Fairy In The House?

2010-02-16T20:23:00.003-07:00

He has wiggled, pulled and twisted on it since the moment of the great discovery: the first loose tooth. And, after three weeks of intense anticipation, eagerness and a bajillion questions about the beautiful, yet elusive fairy, the all too great moment has arrived:

He has been on Cloud Nine since the great loss. And dinner? Lets just say that he could not stop marvelling at the fact that he could eat dinner with only 19 teeth. Going to bed was an ordeal because well, how does that fairy know that his tooth came out tonight? And/or, how will she find his tooth which is lovingly wrapped up and tucked away in a tooth pocket on a tooth fairy pillow.

I wonder if he will actually get any sleep tonight or not ......

A Princess Blessing

2010-02-15T20:44:00.003-07:00

Three years ago today, you my dear Masyn, blessed our lives. You were a precious gift beyond my imagination and dreams.

I look back and shake my head at myself and the instant fear that I experienced when I was told that you were going to be a girl. Your dad and I were given the confirmation during an ultrasound at 28 weeks during one of your routine gymnastics performances within my belly. Just the thought of a girl had me worrying about how to raise one, how to love her to the fullest and of course, how to deal with the dramatics that comes with raising a female. I have always been boy crazy and have always found that they were the much easier gender to relate to on many occasions. I was terrified that we would never relate to one another and have poor communication. But the moment that I heard your precious cry upon leaving my stomach, all of those fears vanished. The instant I had you within my arms, the feeling of contentment and rightness was overwhelming.

Now, three years later, you have proven to me that girls are a precious gift indeed. How silly I was with those fears because I just can't imagine my life without my girl. Your diva like dramatics are both entertaining and enlightening. Dressing you in style and watching you come up with your own sense of style is so satisfying. Teaching you to believe in yourself and that you can do anything that you dream to, is fulfilling. I look forward to the future and watching you grow into a beautiful young woman, whose radiance will brighten all within your path.

Happy Birthday Princess; I love you so very much.

Like Father, Like Child

2010-01-28T10:20:00.002-07:00

It is scary really at how much my children look like their father first thing in the morning ....

Mexico: The Drunken Version

2010-01-19T20:34:00.025-07:00

Ahhh .... the much anticipated truth and revelation has arrived. The question begs to be asked: what do you get when:

You have one mother away from her children for the first time;
Another mother on a vacation with her two adult children for the first time in six years;
A daughter with a massive work load due to the upcoming Winter Olympics;
An all inclusive, non limiting paradise resort facility;
When Mother Earth decides that it should rain rather than allow for us to become sun goddesses?

The answer is as follows. However, the following disclaimer must be presented first:

We, the drunken entertainers, vacationers and ladies extraordinaire, do not take responsibility for the poor quality of the photos as shown below. We would like to say that all photos were taken during times of extreme laughter, the occasional slur and eagerness to consume more of the fine Mexican tequila and rum, and can say with certainty, that while you may not see the humor within these pictures, we do and will break into giggles upon looking at them. So having said that, peruse these pictures at your own risk.

And now we begin:The fun began right in the Vancouver Airport. After a few Bellinis at Milestones, we were pretty convinced that Christie was going to have a few issues in her quest for gold at the Olympics.

After a few glasses of champagne, gin and tonics, Baileys and coffee and a 6 hour flight in first class, this is what we were greeted to upon stepping out of the Cancun Airport in search of our shuttle:
One beer and two shuttles later, this is what we were greeted to upon sitting in the shuttle that was finally going to take us to the correct hotel. Needless to say, we giggled and had to take proof that we were going to heed to the subtle suggestion:

The Mexican Fiesta Festival. Perfect for our first night and it gave us a chance to take mental notes of activities that we were likely to partake in later on in the week. Activities such as singing with the mariachi band, tequila tasting or even bull riding. For me, I knew that two of the three were likely a shoe in and it wasn't going to be in an attempt to eat the worm.

Us three ladies after waaayyyy too many Banana Sexy drinks on our first rainy day

Me erm .... performing as usual to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! This was all due to excessive consumption of Banana Sexys

Said evil drink: Banana Sexy

Our rainy day bartender extraordinaire, Benjamin along with a drunken Christie attempting to make a Banana Sexy

Christie giving up and just hoping for a little coconut rum direct from the source

The three chocolate messes still sitting at the pool side bar, in the rain at 5:00 pm

Us, one hour later at the Italian restaurant. We won't mention that Miss Sherry was so intoxicated that she does not remember eating at this restaurant and her only form of communication was an attempted slur.

Christie practising her pirate ways ..... in an Italian restaurant.

Christie and I the next night at the Asian restaurant, only slightly intoxicated. A large improvement from the previous day.

And due to the slight intoxication, I was amazed at this large hummingbird like moth. While Sherry and Christie were running away screaming, I had to pick it up to check it out and of course take a picture. Don't worry, my scream came shortly thereafter when it wouldn't get off my hand.

Sherry (my mom) and me at the Pure Restaurant, which is a 8 course fancy establishment. How on earth did they let us in?

And this is just one of the many reasons why we were permanently intoxicated: a help yourself premium bar. Not only do you have bartenders and bars everywhere, when you stay in the adult section, you also have free access to pretty much whatever you want liquor wise.

Another day, another drink and another situation where I thought that I was a glamor goddess.

Yes, we were bellied up to the pool bar on one of our only sunny days.

The glamor goddess was back .....

Some of the local wild life and no .... I am not capable to making something as such.

Sherry and Christie sampling some of Mexico's finest ....

After days of trying to convince the lifeguard to re-enact a Baywatch scene with me, he decided instead to drop his drawers, thinking that is was a much safer option.

And of course, I couldn't resist riding the mechanical bull .... twice. But I can proudly say that I stayed on for 8 seconds my second go around.

Sigh ... I am so going to miss Pancho, the donkey with a moustache.

Well, that is it .... for now folks. Until next year or my next trip, Adios Amigos!

Mexico - The Magazine Version

2010-01-15T14:07:00.004-07:00

Located in a quaint little village called Puerto Morelos, only 15 minutes from the Cancun Airport, the NH Riviera Cancun Resort is a little gem pretty close to paradise. The facility has only been open since November of 2008 with the air of trendy sophistication in the decor and the lushness of tropical beauty on the outside.

Need a break from the dreary winter outside? Look no further than below for a little dreamy getaway! Tomorrow's post? Mexico - The Drunken Version.

And yes, if you were wondering, these photos were taken by me with my fabulous new camera that Santa so thoughtful gave me for Christmas.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?

2009-12-02T20:34:00.003-07:00

Please take a moment today and look at this picture, and then please pass it on to anyone you may know.

Geoff Meisner, a husband and father to four small girls ranging in ages from 5 - 11 years old has been missing since Friday, November 27th. Tammy his wife, was my best friend growing up and while we may have lost that closeness over the years, she is still in my heart and right now my heart is broken for her.

For more information you can go here or here.

Again, please pass this on to anyone you may know and say a prayer for their family that Geoff is brought home soon.

Completion

2009-11-29T14:30:00.001-07:00

Lying on the couch, snuggled close with a sweet smelling head on my chest, that feeling of peaceful contentment filled me. It was that rare silent moment in life where I felt complete with myself. Those stressful moments of life worrying about finances, health or time management took a distant back seat and the contented, blissful ease of happiness settled in.

It is so easy to let the hectic pace of everyday life take over your every move and we are all guilty of letting it rule our lives at some point too. We try our best at being parents to provide for our children and worry about important things like their health, happiness and being able to give them the quality of life that we feel is important. And with those important objectives, sometimes it becomes difficult to take the time and just inhale and realize how good your life really is. It is normal; it is human nature.

As I ponder and relish in my peaceful contentment in life, I allow myself the luxury of keeping my now sleeping daughter on my chest rather than put her to bed. Looking down at her porcelain smooth skin and running my hands through her long silky locks, I find myself wiping at soft tears of humbleness on my cheeks. I am blessed, truly blessed. And with those thoughts, it was so easy to forget about the pressures of everyday life and instead embrace the moment. Embrace the joy of being a mother and the incredible happiness that my children give to me on a daily basis.

A Different Child, Another Operation

2009-11-19T20:40:00.003-07:00

It is official: Masyn's "mood bump" is no longer a mood bump. It instead is a cyst that at this point has been undetermined as to whether it is lethal or not. But, just for safety measures and of course, beauty measures for the princess, the bump must come off.

What the heck am I talking about? I can understand your confusion given my lack of ability to blog of late so here is the Coles version:

Two months ago a bump appeared on Masyn's cheek. At first we thought it was gasp - a zoinker! After a few attempts to ahem, pop it because Mom and Dad were not patient for it to disappear on its own, it decided to appear to disappear. A week later, it came back with a vengeance and has been growing since. It is now 6.5 mm in diameter and seriously changes colour by the day. Some days it was a greenish/yellow, others a brownish purple, to even a blackish blue. Dubbed Masyn's mood bump, after a month or so, we solicited the wisdom of our family doctor who referred us to a pediatrician who referred us to a dermatologist at the Alberta Children's Hospital in Calgary.

After a thorough consultation today and an attempt to extract excretions from the bump, the specialist has determined that it is a cyst and that it must come off. If we don't take it off, it will continue to grow. We will await the test results from the excretions within the cyst as the specialist also punctured the cyst, which for those who have weak stomachs, might not have enjoyed. Me on the other hand, was rather fascinated at the goo pouring out of this growth. It was impressive really.

So, due to the location of the cyst, a plastic surgeon must perform the operation. We are now waiting in cue for our call, which could take up to 6 months to happen. And when that call comes, we will be heading back to that fabulous place called the Alberta Children's Hospital where Masyn will undergo her first operation. And how is the diva taking this you may ask? Well, seeing as she is well adversed to operations from watching her brother, she has already asked for a new princess dress and a princess tea set. I wonder when the request for a royal suite in Calgary for the operation day will come forth .....

Hello World

2009-11-18T21:06:00.002-07:00

Hello world. Hello all. We are good. Yes, I am still alive and I still have the capabilities to type, write and hit a post button. I have had challenges of late: a lack of laptop to post such riveting trivia about my family, a busted up camera that can not take pictures of late nor can I upload the few pictures that I manage to take and well, you see, I am kind of busy. Busy with life, managing a family, a business and trying desperately to acquire a life for myself. We as a family have been travelling for both health and pleasure. So I hate to tell this to you, but you come second in my life now. It won't be for long. Just a little longer if you can find a little more patience within yourself. I promise that you will be rewarded accordingly with stories and pictures that will make you laugh, cry and probably puke due to a cornball wedged within your esophagus.

Until then, let the countdown begin: 4 more sleeps until I will post your first form of entertainment. See? I can still manage to provide you at least a bit of a teaser no?

A Halloween Howler

2009-10-31T20:58:00.003-06:00

It was a chilly, wet Halloween night for this family tonight. What started out promising with cool, yet a manageable temperature, quickly turned to monsoon like conditions for most of our excursion. Never one to walk away from a challenge, the kids and I pretty much swam house to house in efforts to fill their bags full of goodies and of course, the spare bag that I was carrying. And due to us being the only ~~idiots~~ dedicated individuals out tricking and treating, I do have to say that we scored relatively well.

The kids were adorable in their costumes and I was my husband worst nightmare and of course, have relished every moment of that. So much so, that it has been difficult for me to lose the scruff and attitude to go along with it.

But the best part of the night? It has got to be when the monsoon let up and the clouds parted for what looked like a full moon. Accompanied by that bright moon was ghost of fog steaming up from the house walkways and the eerie howl of a ~~dog~~ werewolf. It was like it was scripted from a scene from American Werewolf in London and for a split second, while I was choking on my racing heart, I had a tough time deciding which child of mine I would offer up as a sacrifice. I know, I am a stellar Mom aren't I?

Incognito

2009-10-28T20:37:00.003-06:00

You know you love your kids when you forget that you have attended a Halloween party with your children and walk into McDonalds to order dinner. Drive thru was not an option as the driver window is broken in the van and does not go up nor down.

When did I clue in? When I got back into the van and saw this staring back at me in the rear view mirror.

The look upon Kaelen's face kind of says it all doesn't it? And the funniest thing? I was laughing and smiling at others who I thought at the time were checking the kids out while we were waiting for our food to be given to us.

The Disappearance of the Pacifier

2009-10-26T13:07:00.002-06:00

It has happened. The moment that I have been dreading since the realization that my daughter has an addiction; to her "sou-sou", otherwise known as the pacifier. The time had to come and for most, it comes much earlier than for us. But somehow my daughter became attached to her sou-sou and when I say attached, I mean attached. If you have been a loyal follower of this blog, you know right away what I am referring to. If you are new to this blog, take a moment thereafter to scroll through our history and you will soon realize that the infamous sou-sou is in pretty much every single picture.

We have been taking baby steps to eliminate the need for her pacifier. Everything from the midnight visits of the "Sou-Sou Fairy" who comes to take one of her pacifiers for a newborn baby to down right threats that evil Mom and Dad will throw them away should we see one in her mouth during the day. No matter the situation, Masyn will find happily find a way to find one of her many hidden treasures to taunt the world with. And, I repeat many sou-sou treasures. At one point, Masyn had 7 of the suckers (pardon the pun), and could often be seen walking around with at least two of those in her mouth and one in each hand. Over time, some of these treasures have been lovingly worn out, resulting in the arrival of the "Sou-Sou Fairy", who will come, take them and then fix them for a newborn baby. However, Masyn has wizened up to this charade and refuses to let her last 2 sou-sous out of her sight. That is, until now.

Last night was a long night for the two of us as Masyn dealt with the reality that her two most prized possessions have been lost within our house. After hours of searching and many tears later, we accepted defeat and attempted to go to bed without. We have survived the night and so far nap today, but my little girl is clearly devastated and is heading towards the next stage of grief: anger. Just before nap time today, she tearfully asked for her beloved sou-sou only to lash out in verbal anger that the "Sou-Sou Fairy" was bad because she took her sou-sou. She then went on to heart breakingly tell me that she too was a baby and needed her sou-sou.

And, while many often remind us that she is indeed 2 1/2 years old and much too old for a pacifier, it is breaking my heart to see her so sad and broken up. While she will likely get over this within the next couple of days, I am not sure if this Mommy will. You see, I am caught straddling the fence. The one part of me prays that I am the one to find the two missing pacifiers in the house before her, thus discreetly disposing of them and helping her along her journey of addiction recovery. Yet the other part of me is secretly devastated because I am the one that has to come to terms that my baby is no longer a baby, but a sweet and precious little girl. I am the one not ready for my baby to give up the little baby like things.

A Spooktacular Time

2009-10-25T08:49:00.006-06:00

For as long as we live here, we will make this one of our annual family events; the Fort Steele Halloween Spooktacular. A night geared specifically for families, particularly with young ones, to go out and have many laughs, a change of scenery and best of all, an affordable outing.

Set within the historical site of Fort Steele, an old western heritage town, you walk into a magical blend of old fashioned wonder and the creative magic of simplicity. As you walk down the wooden boardwalk past these "Little House on the Prairie" like houses, you just may catch a glimpse of a ghost within the darkened window, or, hanging from the tree within the yard.

Or, you just may find interesting creatures walking around this little town filled with Halloween ambiance that for some are familiar and others, rather dubious. And amongst those creatures, there are 9 Trick or Treat posts for the youngsters to practice their cry for treats and of course, manners afterwards.

Once the zealous cries for treats is done there are many an activity to entertain both young and old alike. Everything from a haunted house, to story book cottage (both put on by the local high school drama class - which were fabulous), to fun, simple games like bean bag tosses, spider throwing to the highly challenging and hygienic game of donut catching sans hands.

But then again, you could be a Diva and give that royal look indicating that you are way above participating in a germ infested game as such. Unlike, her brother above who enthusiastically would both bite on the community wood and suck on it in efforts to ensure his donut would end up in his gullet.

Other fun activities include pumpkin carving, a Halloween play, bonfires throughout the town, a zombie fashion show and fireworks to cap off the night.

Now, my question is to you: what are you doing next year the weekend before Halloween?

Our Spitfire

2009-10-24T09:53:00.003-06:00

Our little spitfire, otherwise fondly referred to as "The Diva", "Princess" and commonly known as Masyn. I have said it before and I will say it again, she is going to go places. She is blessed to have an overachieving big brother and seems to have inherited that gene as well. Add in a good dose of copy cat syndrome and well, she is off to the races in many aspects of her young life. Anything her brother can do, she can do as well. She is adamant on doing things and unlike her brother, does not seem to have that fear of failing. And because that lack of fear, everything she has tried to date, she has pretty much done right off the bat.

Case in hand: she was VERY persistent on skating yesterday. Hubby and I mulled over the choice of putting her on skates or "Bobbies", which are double bladed contraptions that strap onto boots. Hubby thought she was ready for skates and I the Bobbies, because she is only 2 after all. Masyn however, would not dream of putting on the Bobbies because as in her words, they were "no skates". Digging deep into the recesses of our crawl space filled with junk, I managed to find Kaelen's old skates that hubby insisted we keep (thank gosh). With eager enthusiasm, she quickly had these 2-sizes-too-big skates on her little feet and she was running around the basement. Later on last night, we headed to a local rink that had a Friday Family Free skate.

It was our intention to get Kaelen out to practice his skating to help him out in hockey but as per the normal pattern that is being established, it soon turned out to be the Masyn show. Equipped with a walker that glides on ice, Masyn was off to the races and spent the next 1 1/2 hours, making her way around the rink. And, in true Masyn style, she had two tearful episodes: the first because her mitten dared to fall off her hand and get her dainty hand wet and cold and the second was due to us taking her off the ice to head home for the night. Not once did she cry when she fell on her butt, which she did, hard enough to make us wince. Prior to skating, I tried to convince her of wearing a diaper for some padding, but the diva firmly refused because well, she is too good to wear a diaper when she can wear her princess panties.

Daddy taking Masyn for a fly around the rink.

Masyn on one of her many laps around the rink with her walker. Kaelen is in the back ground.

Masyn trying skating on her own; without the aid of a walker.

It was a night filled with giggles and pride as hubby and I watched our kids. With Dad on the ice laughing with his children and Mom watching from the sidelines (my ankle has not healed enough to skate yet) with a big smile on my face, I was infused with such a feeling of love and happiness. I love this time of year: winter for my family is a time where we get to spend so much time together and boy is it fun.

Pondering the Whys

2009-10-22T09:39:00.002-06:00

Today is one of those days that I find myself constantly deep in thought. Deep in thought about the "whys" of life. Why does it seem that achieving certain accomplishments in your life can be easier for one and not for another? Particularly, becoming parents. Why do some people have to walk through hell and back just to achieve this privilege while others appear to not have to work as hard? And, while I admit that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors per se, that perhaps those people who appear to have an easier time with it, may in fact not. But the biggest question for me is if pregnancy and child birth are supposed to be a natural, beautiful occurrence for women, why does it not seem as such for people?

Without going into great detail, out of respect of privacy for very good friends of ours, this newest scare feels like the icing on the cake for me. Their situation: after many years of frustration to have a baby, the dream comes true and their excitement becomes focused on the projected arrival date. Two weeks prior to arrival date, Mom begins to show signs of complications with signs of very high blood pressure. Labor is induced to protect Mom and babe only to turn out unsuccessful. 20+ hours later, baby is delivered via cesarean and is a healthy baby boy. Mom however, is still struggling with high blood pressure and fluid is discovered in lungs. Four days later, all seems somewhat under control so family goes home to be a new family. During those next 8 hours, Mom struggles for breath, becomes dizzy and something feels very wrong. She is not even given a chance to savour the exuberant feeling of being a Mom. Family packs up to head back to the hospital to have Mom checked out again. While at hospital, Mom goes into congestive heart failure and luckily, was able to be stabilized. Now, Mom is in ICU, I am sure shocked as hell and devastated while Dad and baby make visits, but are at home trying to give baby the best care possible. At this point, no one knows what is going to happen next.

Now, as a Mom to a preemie, I can just imagine some of the devastation, yearning and disbelief that Mom is going through right now at not being with her newborn 24/7. And although in our case, our son remained in the hospital while I was at home, the utter devastation, unavoidable guilt and yearning is crippling. I can't even put into words what the feeling is like to not have your newborn with you. But what I can't imagine is how Mom is feeling when the situation is balancing potentially upon her life if things were to take the turn for the worse. And with those thoughts, comes the feeling of inadequacy of knowing that there is nothing at this time that my family can do to help them other than pray for them. And yes, the power of prayer can be powerful, but it doesn't feel like enough for me.

And with those prayers, comes forth those questions of why does it have to be so difficult for some people to fulfill their dream of becoming parents? Where does the sentiment that pregnancy and child birth are a natural, beautiful process? Yes, apparently as I search for these answers, it becomes apparent that I have unresolved issues of my own experiences. But, for me, perhaps I have become jaded after having a child almost 2 months early, multiple miscarriages and the ever present scare of losing the pregnancy while pregnant. Those experiences change a person and it makes it difficult to swallow good natured advice from optimists reminding you of what you do have. Trust me when I say that I feel incredibly blessed to have two beautiful, healthy children. Words will never effectively describe how blessed I feel for my two babies and the heartbreak and hell that we had to go through to achieve our blessings. But, when I reflect upon my own experiences and those of others, it is hard not to wonder why some appear to have an easier time with it than others.

If you have a moment today, tomorrow or three days down the road, please take a moment to include this family in your prayers. Deep down I know that they are going to be okay, but right now, in this moment, life for them is so very scary.

My Hockey Hero

2009-10-14T09:27:00.003-06:00

We have finally hit that magical age of five, meaning that interested kids can start playing organized hockey on a rink. Kaelen has been chomping at the bit to partake in hockey for 4 years now; basically ever since he could walk he has had a hockey stick in his hands. He has played in hundreds of Stanley Cup finals, taken thousands of game winning shoot out attempts and has even battled the toughest goon on a team (aka Daddy).

Last Monday (Oct 5th) was an exciting day for all of us: for Kaelen, it was his glory moment of being part of a team and for Mom and Dad, the excitement and anticipation to laugh while watching our son fulfilling a dream. We are, determined NOT to be one of those parents that push our child into something that they don't want to do, nor are we going to yell and scream in competitive spirit for our son to do better or that he is failing, or another child is.

What greeted us last Monday was surprise. We were very surprised to see that all but 3 of the children on the team knew how to skate with surprising skill, that the first practice out had organized skills and that there was not a lot of laughter from our son. He lasted a whole 30 minutes before melting down. Why was he melting down? It was because he felt frustrated and left out. Left out because those 3 children on the team, who did not know how to skate were literally left out during the drills. By the time those 3 kids made it down to one end of the ice, the rest of the team was back at the other end doing a new drill. And, to Kaelen's credit, despite his melt downs, he did improve his skating skills significantly during the 1 1/2 hour practice. Yes 1 1/2 hours for 5 year olds. Am I the only one surprised by this? Anyways, he went from barely standing on skates to actually pushing off and gliding a little before falling.

And despite having mixed feelings already about this hockey thing, I can't help but be so proud of my son. After a good night sleep, he got up the next morning determined that he is going to play hockey and get better skating. He is determined to improve his skating so he can be like his hockey hero, Kevin Bieksa (who play for the Vancouver Canucks). He may feel left out, but he got over that with determination to try again. You can't ask for more in a child once they are discouraged.

So, this coming Monday is our second practice. I wonder what it will bring and if the practice will be structured differently to include all skill levels of the children on the team. Regardless, we will cheer for our son, be there to wipe his tears of frustration and love him for trying.

A Weekend of Thanks

2009-10-13T18:51:00.003-06:00

This past weekend, I was thankful for so many things in my blessed life. Life may be hectic and at times troublesome, but when it comes down to it, I have it good. Real good.

Here is a snap shot into my life:

I have a husband that is just as goofy as I. He is a fabulous father to our children and a perfect partner for me. Come November, we can proudly say that we have been together for 16 full years, embarking on our 17th together.

I have a family that can laugh at themselves just as much as they can at me. Even if I do decorate pine cone turkeys to have similar traits to each family. Case in hand: this is what my sister would look like if she were a pine cone turkey. And after we have a good, long giggle over my lack of creative talent, we will crank the music and dance like goofs, trade good natured barbs at one another or find some other way to laugh the night away.

I have two incredible children who truly complete my life. Each day brings forth a new laugh, a new tear and a new overwhelming sense of love and gratitude. Like many other Mothers, I just can not imagine my life without these two.

How many other can truly say that they would be lost in life without their sibling? I would. I have said it many times before but my sister is like my twin. Like my right arm. I have to talk to her at least twice a day and it practically kills me to only see her a few times a year. She is the best auntie a child could ask for and the most incredible sister a girl could ask for.

Oh yes, and I am thankful for the fabulous feast(s) that I stuffed into my gut over the weekend, the roof over my head and of course, for the bountiful wine that I was able to consume.

It was a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend, even without you Mom. Don't worry - we said many a toast to you in your honor. Yes a few were rather sarcastic because after all, you did ditch us for a month long sojournment on a boat in the Mediterranean.

Hello, YOU

2009-10-01T12:27:00.003-06:00

Hello You! Yes you, my silent lurker(s) who give me a hard time if I don't post yet never leave a comment for me. (insert wink here). All is well. I am sadly just experiencing a minor adjustment in life called time management. Things are busy for us with sick kids, birthday parties, Kaelen starting school, the beginning of our first hockey season, working at the golf course and a change over happening within the dayhome.

BUT, I do promise that posts and many of them are coming in the very near future. You see, despite not ever hitting that post button, I do in fact have about six blog entries that are done - I just need to upload photos to go with them. However, my camera is possessed and broken so decides when it wants to work for me and not. Ironically, my laptop is experiencing the exact same twisted desire to do so as well. So, the camera may work, however I can't upload the photos. Sigh .....

In any event, you could always try to find me on Facebook for at least I am able to update consistently there. It is my newest hidden dark secret of obsession, which I am am ashamed to admit given I adamantly swore that I would never join the dark side and become a user of that interface.

Hang in there, I promise there is some good stuff to come .... as in within the next day. Thank you for caring enough though to email me or phone me to see if all was okay, even if you put a jab or two about not having any coffee break entertainment ......

Past, Present and the Future

2009-09-06T08:10:00.004-06:00

For many, visiting a loved one in a cemetery is difficult, emotional, perhaps painful and even healing. I am no exception to those feelings. Yet, when I go to visit my father in his resting place, I am surrounded with a profound sense of loss but with that comes an incredible sense of peace and rejuvenation. I don't get up to see him as much as I should, as sadly, I do not get back to my home town enough. And, if it were in the winter months, I can't visit my father as he is literally buried under 8 feet of snow, so finding the gravestone is at times challenging. Oh yes, my sister and I have taken upon the challenge to dig around and find it. And those times were filled with laughter at what we were doing, a sense of accomplishment when we found him and that ever present sadness of what we have lost. I should add in too, that we are respectful of those around us too, so upon our dig, or even our summertime visits, we will leave flowers upon the headstones surrounding my father in gratitude for being such good company for him.

In the summertime however, the graveyard is incredible. The view as you sit at my father's gravestone is breath taking as it is silent. You are surrounded by the beauty of nature and the love for others that have passed on and the tribute that their families and friends continue to give to them. It is something that is important for me to share with my children and for them to experience.

Last weekend, we were back in my hometown for a wedding and to celebrate my mom's birthday. My sister and I took the opportunity to take the children up to visit my Dad. Kaelen has been up there a few times however Masyn had never had the opportunity to do so. I let the kids each pick out their own flower bouquet to lay upon my Dad's gravestone and it was then that I knew that this would be an educational visit for me and one that was going to be filled with laughter. The kids were so very excited to be a part of this visit and having the responsibility to decorate Grandpa's resting place.

To access the gravestone, you practically need to be a mountain goat to navigate the hill as my hometown is literally built on the side of a mountain. After scaling the mountain, the kids were eager to give Grandpa his flowers. And upon gifting Grandpa with his flowers, "the questions" began:

Kaelen: Mom, where exactly is Grandpa right now?

Me: Well, he is in heaven honey.

Kaelen: I know, but where is his body?

Me: Um, well his body is deep within the ground, but his spirit and being is in heaven.

Kaelen: So, what you are telling me is that we are standing on his head right now?

Me: Well, if you put it that way, yes honey, we are.

Kaelen: Grandpa must have been big and strong then for us to stand on him like this.

There were many other entertaining conversations and perhaps it was wrong to find humour in a place as such, but I know deep down that my Dad was laughing himself silly. He found the laughter in everything and my son's innocent questions would be no exception. So we went about answering all of Kaelen's questions, cleaning up around my father's grave site and paying respect to others around him. My children must be mine as we didn't have to prompt them on this little tradition that my sister and I have, they just naturally wanted to do so.

I won't deny that I was sucking up the tears when visiting my dad this time. I so desperately wish that he could be actively involved in my life in the physical presence and to partake in my beautiful life. He would be so proud of my children and I am very confident in saying that he and my husband would no doubt be very good friends and get into a lot of trouble together.

Even after 23 years of his passing, the raw hurt and yearning is still there, but I take comfort in knowing that he is with all of us in spirit.

Popsicles and Jello

2009-09-04T08:59:00.003-06:00

The time has arrived and past. Kaelen had his surgery done on the 2nd and is doing amazing. His surgery resulted in the removal of his tonsils and after a thorough scope, he also had tubes put in both ears and a cyst removed, that had grown on the site from his adenoid surgery back in March. And, being the trooper that he is, he has yet to complain of pain. Which amazes me because everyone and their dog warned me that he would be extremely sore and cranky for at least the first 5 days. Sadly, in Kaelen's own words, the pain is "normal". Normal in the sense that it is the same kind of pain that he has been living with since his adenoid surgery or perhaps before that.

He is lethargic and tired and is struggling to talk, so doesn't much. The house seems empty at the moment because Kaelen talks and talks and talks, and basically never shuts up. And when he does talk, it is kind of funny because everything is still so swollen, no one has a chance to even understand what he is saying. That is coming from a family whos said boy already has speech enunciation issues and we are very good at deciphering and translating what Kaelen is saying. Now comes the waiting game, waiting and watching Kaelen heal. He starts Kindergarten on Tuesday but may miss that and his big 5th birthday is on Wednesday, which we will of course celebrate ice cream style if needed. The big Bakugan party? It was supposed to be Sunday, but we have pushed it back to two weeks from Sunday, when Kaelen will be healthy enough to be in fine brawler form.

What is next for the little man? Well, in the next month or two, he will be referred to a speech therapist in hopes that it isn't too late to help him with his enunciation issues. We have been told that in some kids, if the enunciation challenge is due to a nasal like sound pattern, it may be too late to teach them how to change that sound pattern. However, Kaelen's issues are more along the lines of being physically hindered from the ability to articulate a particular sound such as "th's" or "s's". He tries and can only 1/4 of the time can actually come up with the sound. All people involved feel that having these past two surgeries, he naturally correct himself. Part of the issue too was that he couldn't hear a decibel range effectively (kind of like muffled), hence the removal of the adenoids, tonsils and insertion of tubes. Plus, the tonsils and adenoids were so ginormous, (the specialist asked me if we wanted to jar them for a badge of honor), they were certainly hindering him from being able to pronounce sounds.

Sigh .... it is so tough as a parent to see your children hurt or struggle isn't it? I mean, you know in the big picture that they are going to be okay and come out with flying colours but, that still doesn't stop your heart from breaking and your eyes from watering, wishing that you could take their place and bear their burden ......

Let The Brawl Begin

2009-08-24T08:38:00.004-06:00

It ain't no Martha perfection, but pretty darn close to it. We managed to finish off the birthday invites for Kaelen's upcoming party and are in the process of handing them out.

The idea came from this fabulous website and we just modified it a little to suit our needs. It was surprisingly easy to do and Kaelen had so much fun helping with the painting, pinning and gluing.

The only downfall? Is that they are too big to fit in a mailbox so we have to ensure that someone is home when we drop them off ....

Curious as to what exactly Bakugan is? You can go here to attempt to follow the story line or alternatively, you can borrow my son to explain it to you.

Off now to start the Character Wall for decorations .........

Turn Down The Volume Please

2009-08-19T17:45:00.006-06:00

It has been tough on my psyche these past weeks. I am a self analyzer, a perfectionist always looking for a flaw within myself. And believe me, I have spent many a minute in my lifetime, particularly when I hit my 30's in reflection upon my actions, words and overall achievement in life. There are days that I wish that I could just go back in time and become that ignorant young woman without a care in the world. That young woman who chalked mistakes up to a life lesson within a second of doing a wrong, wronging someone or being completely selfish.

But something happened when I hit the 30's and I have become this overachiever wanna be. I can't find myself able to just blissfully enjoy a moment of life without thinking about what I could be doing better, how will this affect a person down the road and so on. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands, or perhaps I am still coming to grips with feelings of inadequacy of being able to secure a career kind of job. Perhaps it is the constant inner argument going on in my head, reminding me that I DO have a great job. In fact I have TWO great jobs. I am a Mommy who gets to stay at home to care for my children as well as the privilege to care for other people's most precious treasure as well. And, while the days are long, if given the chance to trade up for a career job, I am not really sure if I could do it.

With that being said, I have hit that time of year where I feel burnt out, frustrated, under appreciated and tired. I am tired of feeling like I am alone and doing everything on my own. Everything from raising my children, to raising other people's children, working a part time evening job, to trying to clean this house, making multiple meals, caring for the lawn, trying to juggle appointments all while feeling like I have no social time. As a result, I find that my patience is on a short fuse and that I catch myself yelling at my children all of the time. It doesn't take much to set me off and within the instant that I yell and see the hurt pass across my child's face, it sets into instant remorse and that ugly silent internal reprimand. It is then that reality sets in and I sit in silence pondering just why I got mad and felt it necessary to yell. I mean, we all know that yelling doesn't get us anywhere .... most of the time. Sometimes it has proven to be a useful tool to get my wayward child's attention, or even to get my point across seeing as I had already tried the patient repetitive way a hundred times before. But the fact of the matter is that yelling is the source of making my days seem long, unappreciated and self reflective.

I read an interesting article in a parenting magazine a couple of weeks ago. It specifically talked about parents who felt like they yelled too much and selected three families with different scenarios to help through their yelling issues. And, to no surprise, the little techniques and suggestions from experts seemed to have helped them along. Of course the cynic in me rolled my eyes at the thought of changing the yelling pattern by a few deep breaths. But the optimist in me was encouraged to try it. For me, taking the few deep breaths before responding or adding a few extra minutes in a routine so the kids weren't rushed into something didn't work. But what has worked is being aware of the need to yell and then stopping myself. Instead of venting that frustration verbally, I am trying use a hug as an outlet. As a result, the yelling on my behalf has practically cut in half. I find that my children are responding to me better when I hug them and then gently, yet firmly talk to them about the issue at hand.

I am not naive enough to think that this is the solution, nor will it work forever, but at least it has provided me with the silence of that nagging internal conflict on how I could have done things better. And believe me when I say, Masyn is trying her best to test out my new skills and my attempts to not yell as she is a handful. My willful little diva thinks and acts like she owns the world and that we should all bow down to her. I joke with my husband that I am terrified of what the teens will be like with her given our love/yell relationship at the tender age of 2. So I beg of you all, should you have some tried and tested advice, please feel free to pass it along to this sound sensitive Momma.

Going On A Lion Hunt

2009-08-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

I did it. I achieved a minor milestone that I have been itching to ~~torture myself~~ experience. I am proud to say that I survived without losing my cool, no yelling and managed to come out with minimal bites from the ferocious beasts otherwise known as mosquitos. Upon a whim, we decided to camp in the ~~wilds of the jungle~~ local provincial park located 15 minutes from my front door.

And to add to the overall experience, we had to stalk all campers within the campsite in hopes that someone would vacate a site pad. Luckily for us, we found some friendly fellow campers who decided to pull up stakes due to the weather warning of thunderstorms and rain for the latter part of the day. I must commend them as well for they didn't appear bothered much as we helped ~~throw~~ load stuff into their vehicles in an effort to speed up their departure time. But, should you be thinking that I am slightly neurotic (which I am), there were others just like me stalking the site and stewing in envy that I got to these friendly fellow campers first.

Being the true girl scout that I am, I came prepared with my tent in the event that I needed to stake my claim immediately. The friendly fellow campers hadn't even closed their vehicle doors before I began to set up my tent. Truth be told though, I figured that I needed as much time as possible to set my abode up for the night as it was a new tent that has only been used once – in my backyard a few weeks prior. In true competitive spirit, I set out to beat my previous time of 2 hours to set this fine establishment up. Armed with a rock, no instructions and kiddy hands rooting through everything, I managed to erect our mansion within 45 minutes. Giving myself a pat on the back and doing a jig in celebration with the kids, we jumped back into our vehicle, hunted down the park ranger and paid our fee. Then it was back home for us to pack up food, blankets and all other necessities needed for roughing it in the wild.

Three hours later, we returned to our little ~~jungle~~ haven and immediately emmersed ourselves in the experience of living with Mother Nature. Armed with sticks we battled many a ~~squirrel~~ lion, hunted and cooked our food over a ~~portable BBQ~~ roasting pit fire and taught the kids to ~~pee in the bush~~ bond with Earth. We even managed to use our vivid imaginations and sing campfire songs over a citronella candle and lantern as campfires were not permitted due to a province wide ban. Before long, the sun had set and it was off to bed, nestled all cozy within our ~~airbed and sleeping bags~~ pine needles and sheltered from the gentle rain within our tent lean-to.

Truthfully, it was a great experience and one that I would gladly do again (with the help of a few beers or wine). The kids were fabulous and used their active imaginations to ensure that our experience was fun, filled with laughter yet educational (to Mommy anyways).

The kids, with a fellow camping friend, searching in the jungle for the ferocious lion (squirrel) within the bush.

Gourmet cooking at its finest: hot dogs.

The morning after: getting a thumbs up is a good thing .....

Innocence

2009-08-08T08:23:00.004-06:00

Sometimes it is a snapshot of a picture or life that may not be of the greatest quality that makes you just stop and exhale. I find myself doing that a lot lately. It is within the still moments of Masyn's life that I just sit, stare, marvel and wonder at all of the possibilities for her.

Summertime Reflection

2009-08-05T16:58:00.003-06:00

I love this picture, like truly love it. For me, it captures the essence of my children's love for one another. These two are like two peas in a pod. Masyn worships her older brother and copies everything that he does; his other shadow. She is his little parrot and one must exercise extreme patience when speaking with him for she is parroting (or attempting to) verbatim everything that he says. And Kaelen? He is the big brother I always wished that I had: he happily includes her in on all of his adventures, he watches out for her and is quick to reprimand her if she steps out of line. But most of all, it is the love that each of them has for the other that is so incredibly precious. They are always cuddling, hugging and kissing one another. And it is moments like this that shows you that they even enjoy the quiet times in life together too.

Tonsils and Tubes

2009-08-05T12:41:00.002-06:00

It is official - Kaelen is having another surgery. We have been placed on the cancellation list in hopes that he can receive the surgery prior to the beginning of the school season. If not, then we will have to wait until sometime in October (we are thinking) as we haven't been assigned a formal date.

This time around Kaelen will be having his tonsils removed as they have evolved into perpetual tonsillitis as well as possible tube insertion to his left ear. There is a chance that Kaelen's left ear is not effectively draining, hence causing the consistent pain and minor hearing loss in it. Having the tube insertion will be "a during surgery" decision once the specialist can get in there to assess what exactly is going on.

The good news is that the adenoid surgery back in March wasn't a total loss as Kaelen's hearing has improved in his right ear substantially. And with this new needed surgery, we are all hoping that this will help Kaelen's overall hearing, his speech enunciation issues, his minor sleep apnea and, help us avoid having to shell out thousands of dollars in orthodontics to correct an overbite that will develop due to his snoring and open mouthed breathing while sleeping.

Sigh .... while some days the issues just never seem to end, it also hits home just how resilient these little gaffers are. I mean, would you be able to live in constant ear and throat pain, poor muffled hearing and just think that it was normal? I couldn't, hence just another reason why my son is my hero.

The Secret Smile

2009-07-28T21:10:00.002-06:00

Today, I met him. You know .... the naked neighbor. Remember him? I won't deny that I managed to exhale with happy thoughts in knowing that he doesn't exactly look like an ogre up close. From a distance at night on an overworked, exhausted mind? Totally different story ....

The funniest part? I managed to not to burst out laughing when he introduced me to his significant other ...... who happens to be 6 months pregnant with twins. Why? Well my warped sense of humour was just itching to come out with a comment about moonlight lovin.

Heaven and Angels

2009-07-24T12:46:00.002-06:00

I have mentioned it before; I am not an overly religious person. I did not grow up with religious mentoring, instead my family choose to make Sundays a family day. It was a day where everything was put aside and we focused on our family for the entire day. I won't deny that I am curious about all of the types of religion that is out there, but I have never felt the pull to join a particular parish or congregation. I have a healthy respect for all religions and may one day pursue going further with it but just haven't found anything that I whole heartily feel inspired by yet. My husband grew up in a Catholic environment and while he still to some level believes, he does not have the desire to continue following that path at the moment. Nor does he wish for our children to be pushed into it but rather wait and let them decide if and when they are ready. There are those that don't understand our ambivalence regarding religion and instead choose to judge us on our actions. That is okay though for in the big picture, I don't want them in our lives then.

But, I feel that we are doing a tremendous job raising our children, teaching them about morals and to respect all that is around them. Respect those differences from others, learn to ask questions and then make their decision upon how to act. And no matter if they agree or not, regardless of outcome, that it doesn't make any one person right or wrong.

Today, about an hour ago, I happened upon this conversation occurring in our driveway with Kaelen and two of his friends. The three boys were riding their bikes in a big circle talking amongst one another:

Friend #1: When people die, they go to heaven.
Friend #2: Well God is dead too you know.
Friend #1: No he isn't. He rules heaven and he decides who goes to heaven.
Friend #2: No, God is dead just like everybody else who is in heaven.
Kaelen: Guys. You ever heard of angels?
Friend #2: Angels are just pretend.
Friend #1: No they aren't. They live in heaven too.
Kaelen: Guys. Angels are God's helpers. They help look over people in the good and bad times when God can't.
Friend #1: How do you know?
Kaelen: Because ..... well, I have to tell you something but I have to tell you quietly.
Friend #2: Okay, what is it?
Kaelen: Weeelllllll ..... I know this because Mommy's dad's heart like just stopped working when she was little. He's dead. But he loves me and takes care of me all of the time. He can see what I am doing and if I am sad or scared, he watches out for me.
Friend #1: Wow. Really? What does he do?
Kaelen: Yep. Well, Mommy's dad like helps me and makes sure that I am always okay. He just like makes me feel better. Plus, I am really lucky because I have even more angels cause Mommy lost some babies so I have a Grandpa and some brothers or sisters who love me and watch me everyday.
Friend #1: Wow. You are lucky. I don't think that I have any angels.
Friend #2: Me neither.
Kaelen: Yep you do. Everyone has angels and they will always love you.

After that I got busted for eavesdropping on this very enlightening conversation, so sadly it ended.

Little does Kaelen know that he is my angel. My precious, endearing, beautiful angel. I can't tell you how much I love him and how he constantly amazes me with his thoughtful logic.

Frogs, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

2009-07-21T12:36:00.008-06:00

He is my miracle; a child that was meant to bless our lives,

A precious boy who defeated the odds and is healthy as healthy can be.

He has changed my life and filled my world with purpose and love;
His smile will light up a room and his laughter is so pure and infectious that you can't help but laugh along with him,
His sense of adventure is contagious; whether it is catching frogs,

Or butterflies,

Talking to chickens or capturing Mr. Nobody, the imaginary ghost.

And before you realize it, you are living those exciting moments with him.

He is sensitive, caring and very affectionate,

Always concerned and ensuring that all around him are included and happy.

He is driven to succeed in hockey, soccer and golf,

And any other sport that he is given an opportunity to try.

He is perfection and all that a Mom could ask for in a son.

In just over a month, he will be five and heading off to school.

How am I ever going to survive each day without having my little man, my best buddy by my side .........

Caving

2009-07-20T09:25:00.002-06:00

I have finally done the unthinkable and jumped on board with all of the hype and have joined Facebook. Yep - I am thinking the same thing too. How on Earth am I going to manage that seeing as I can barely blog consistently. And am I on glue or something, but it seems to me that Facebook requires TOO MUCH ENERGY just to set up and figure it out.

So ..... send me an invite if you are on Facebook. I will be your friend. It just may take me a bit to respond as I figure out how to do it all.

Swinging The Club And A Frog

2009-07-17T13:16:00.006-06:00

We have made it through the week and only have one more day to go with golf camp. It has been busy and truthfully, a little hard to manage two kids in golf camp, yet care for three young ones simultaneously. And, to answer Goofball's comment on my previous camp post: these are day camps that last only two hours in the morning and parent participation is at times required because the kids range from the age of 4 - 6. Soccer was relatively easy as the young ones could join in if necessary, however, that can not be the case when one is swinging a club. It is scary enough watching the participants swing their clubs and forgetting that their neighbor is too ......

Luckily though, Kaelen doesn't require a lot of effort because well .... he has inherited his Daddy's natural ability and has not only wowed the other parents with his club prowess, but that of his teacher. And, truth be told, has humbled this Mommy because at the tender age of 4, he is already better at playing golf than I will ever be. Seriously folks, Kaelen is impressive. And, if he continues to just go out, hit the ball and enjoy the game, then he could have a serious future ahead of him. I just hope that he maintains that innocent quality about playing sports where he is competitive in the sense of always trying to do his best, yet is okay if he doesn't win and keeps up his cheerful attitude while doing so.

One more day of camp to go and then we are on a three week hiatus. After that comes a learn to skate camp as he is adamant on playing hockey this fall and possibly another golf camp because he really wants to do it again.

So it begins .... the challenge of multi tasking an active family life. And they told me it started when kids hit the age of 8 ........

Did I forget to mention that we found a bazillion frogs at the golf course too? Yep ... we happen to have a couple of new pets too ....

Aren't they cute little stinkers? And, when I say bazillion I mean a bazillion! To the point where you have to watch where to you step or else you may find something a little squishy beneath your shoe. Unless of course you were like Masyn and you actually try to do that on purpose. Yes ... she is the serial frog killer that we managed to contain .... for a bit.

And this is perhaps the next Mike Weir. He has never had formal coaching as we feel that he is too young, so he is raw natural talent. Eventually he will be taught things like grip and stance, but that will come once he is old enough to focus on what is being shown to him.

Adventures With A Puddle

2009-07-13T18:30:00.002-06:00

It poured out today, and at times it was akin to monsoon down pour. Those were the moments that were of immense fun as we took a few strolls around the neighborhood in search for the ultimate puddle. Though, one must make mental note to self that when you live at the top end of the subdivision, puddles are a little hard to come by. Now ... if I were to live say five blocks down the road from my house, now that would have made for some seriously wicked puddles to splash around in.

We managed to find a bit of a puddle that was collecting is someones driveway. We of course had to test out the splash factor. It only ranked a 5/10.

We also had to check out the storm drains to see where all of our puddle water was flowing to.

And of course there was the attempts to be beavers. Building a damn with thy feet doesn't work.

Flight of a Bumble Bee

2009-07-13T15:44:00.004-06:00

One week ago today I thought that I was dying. Okay, well that is a slight embellishment but there were a few poignant points in that day that I was praying to just put me out of my misery. Seven days later and I am still not 100% however there has been a drastic improvement in my ability to consume food and not have it spew out of some orifice of my body. Although, I do have to say that it is a great way to shed a few inches and/or pounds if you like to torture yourself. And miraculously, I have managed to keep up with the yardwork, housework, part time job at the golf course, full time job with the daycare and provide relative quality care for my kids. Oh yes, I also made it through week one of soccer camp and am about to go onto week two: golf camp.

That in itself is enough to make me sick again when I think about all of the hassles it is to haul around the daycare kids and listen to them whine because they don't want to watch Kaelen (can you imagine?). I do however have a bit of respite because the older child in my daycare is also in the golf camp with the little man. So, that means I will only have to entertain three children out of one eye and watch the other two children perform and learn how to swing a golf club. Kaelen has the advantage though of already knowing how to play the game, swing the club and own a set of junior Pings. It pays to have a Daddy in the business. Oh ya, and the golf camp is providing a great opportunity to check out my hubby's competition within the area. This course just opened up on July 1st and word has it that while the view is breath taking, the course itself is too hard for the average, "normal" golfer.

Now ... onto the bumble bee. The weekend was hot. Too hot to hang out at our house so the kids and I took off to a provincial park both days located 10 minutes from town. While the beach could use a little work, the overall area is spectacular and perfect to camp or just spend the day hanging out on the lake. On Saturday I got bit by a horsefly. Damn those things hurt and swell like a bugger. Yesterday, Masyn's biggest fear came true: she got stung by a bee. Yep. Her fear of them was already borderline unhealthy, especially seeing what the horsefly bite did to my wrist and now it has just escalated to full blown phobia and instantaneous meltdown from the sight or sound of any flying insect. Thankfully sweet justice prevailed and that stupid bee died after the sting, or at least I am sure they do don't they? Today she is sporting a nice purple welt on the side of her face and is telling the world around who will listen that a bee bit her, followed by big crocodile tears that remain precariously perched upon the eyelashes and the quivering lower lip. And while she will do anything for attention, I am pretty sure that this isn't an act and that we are about to embark on a journey of fear for all that flies.

Hugging The Throne

2009-07-09T07:22:00.002-06:00

Funny how I go on vacation and I end up blogging every day. Okay, it is sad really. Sad because I was busier on my vacation yet when I am at home, I tend to get distracted a little more and OCD about dirt, yards, chores etc that need to get done. I am not one of those people who can just sit down and kick back to relax. A long list of things that need to get done are constantly swirling around in my head and while a part of me knows that the world won't end if these things don't get done, the other part of me obsesses about it until it gets done.

This week was an especially difficult conversation going on in my head as I have been ill. And, when I say ill, I mean puking my guts out, achy joints, pooping machine kind of ill. I can honestly say that I can't remember being this sick in a very long time. It is day four now and I am still not able to eat much and am weaker than you can imagine due to a lack of sustenance in my system. And believe me, it is not from a lack of trying. My body just is not ready to except food at this point. Other than the eating issue, I am feeling quite fine. I rearranged the house yesterday, dusted the place, managed a few loads of laundry and have a long list of MUST GET DONES today as we have company coming tomorrow. Heavens forbid if we have guests in this house without the house being spotless - heck no - that would give me nightmares to last a lifetime.

Truthfully, I have never been this anal; it seems to get worse with age. I always thought that one was supposed to mellow with age but perhaps as usual, I will end up doing things backwards ... as always.

A Full Bag

2009-07-02T19:58:00.000-06:00

The shopping expedition was successful and ideal. We managed to only hit two stores and blew the allotted amount of money within an hour. Sigh ... I love that kind of shopping. I am NOT a shopper and get easily bored. I detest purchasing clothing for myself and trying them on, well lets not even go there. Like many women out there, once I get into a change room, the circus mirror doubles my ass and makes it impossible to squeeze into those adorable little jeans or shorts that look so cute on the 20 something sales girl. However, we shopped at Old Navy and I was actually successful in purchasing 2 pairs of long capri pants and a pair of longer shorts. And the best part - I actually had to buy them in a size 10. Can I get a whoot whoot?

Once the shopping was done we hit the beach that I never made it to a few days before. There we spent the afternoon catching waves, flinging sand and fighting off an invasion of those pain in the ass Canada goose. Why they are protected is beyond my comprehension as they are worse than rodents, multiply just by looking at each other and are messier than my daycare kids. But then again, I am not a bird gal at all so rolling over and finding myself face to face with one wasn't at the top of my list of great experiences either.

Kaelen's idea of a stick for a draw bridge for the sandcastle that we were attempting to build.

The kids trying to catch a wave.

The diva fashionista who would not take off her hoodie because the wind would blow her hair around.

Kaelen chasing off our uninvited visitors.

This is the friendly goose who actually came onto our blanket between my sister and I and was about to start rooting in my hair when Kaelen excitedly got my sister's attention. She thought he was about to tell her a bug was on her and freaked out when she looked up only to see the large goose beside her head. It was then that she calmly ... okay ... in a panic voice told me to watch out. I will leave my reaction up to your imagination.

After the afternoon at the beach, we hit home for a shower and nap and then it was off to Red Robins for dinner and a ride on the Sea Bus for a little evening entertainment. We walked along the Pan Pacific waterfront for about an hour admiring the view of North Vancouver.

Our trip has come to an end and tomorrow we pack up the truck and begin our journey back to Cranbrook. We will be making a quick stop in Nelson to drop off Auntie Tee Tee at Nana's house as she is spending a week with my mom for a little vacation. Sigh .... it has been so much fun that we don't really want to go back ... except of course for Daddy.

Oh Canada!

2009-07-01T21:39:00.006-06:00

I really couldn't ask for a better Canada Day really .... except for maybe my hubby to have joined us ... but then again, he would have never been able to keep up to us for the entire day. Sorry honey ...

The weather was hot, the laughs and smiles were plentiful and the company fabulous. We couldn't get our act together enough to make it for the pancake breakfast, but we did climb the equivalent of Mt. Everest to attend the parade. With 45 lbs of boy on my back I might add because the hills were too steep for him after 3 LONG CITY BLOCKS, so lucky Mommy the Mule packed him up the remainder 11 LONG CITY BLOCKS. Thank gosh Auntie Tee Tee took sympathy on me and pushed Masyn up the mountain in the stroller that I bought at Walmart for $10. I had to break down and buy a stroller during this trip because it was getting too much to be packing a kid on my back in the Ergo and holding the other in my arms as we have been on the go so much and the kids are getting physically exhausted. So is Mommy I might add but I keep telling myself that my ass is needing the work out.

The view halfway up the mountain climb to the parade. Remember folks, we are down at water level.

The Whittingham Family minus poor Daddy who is slaving away back at home to allow the three of us to go on trips like this. We love you honey!

Masyn cheering loudly and excitedly for the fire trucks and HOT firemen. And let me tell you, she has good taste ......

I digress (again). The parade was long; as in two hours long. It was enjoyable and we fried our butts off in the sun while clapping enthusiastically and loudly. After the parade, we scaled down the steep hills of Everest for a quick lunch, a nap for the munchkins and a beer for the big people. Shortly thereafter, we were off to the festivities at my favourite market where we ate birthday cupcakes, participated in games for cheap, tacky prizes, danced to music and walked around.

Masyn relaxing, soaking in the festivities at the market park area.

Kaelen winning a prize for answering an environment friendly question about how to save on power.

After the festivities were done, it was off to home for us where we proceeded to BBQ ourselves a fabulous steak dinner. And because we stuffed ourselves full and the day was still so nice, we went back to my favourite market for a walk along the docks to help us unwind for the day. Lots of exercise today (my ass is screaming so), lots of sun today, lots of pictures today but most of all, lots of giggles and smiles throughout the entire day.

The three of us on the dock with downtown Vancouver in the background.

Ahoy Mateys!

Peeping Tom #1 ....

Peeping Tom #2, highly encouraged by her Auntie Tee Tee

Tomorrow is sadly, our last full day in the beautiful city of Vancouver, BC. On the docket is: shopping in the morning, beaching in the afternoon and sailing on the sea bus for the evening. Sigh ... we are truly having so much fun, sore butts and all.

Beaching It

2009-06-30T22:31:00.003-06:00

Okay ... so I kind of got the directions messed up resulting in us never really making it to an actual beach. We did however hunt all day for seashells and attempted to break our ankles by climbing over rocks. We did dip our toes in the ocean and scream in squeamish delight when seaweed crashed upon us as a wave pushed it to shore. We filled our buckets up with clam shells, so much so that you just may receive a gift of a few in the mail ... because we do have a lot and we are generous that way.

On the docket for tomorrow? Well ... it is Canada Day you know so we will be whoopin it up and partaking in the festivities. We will start out with the pancake breakfast followed by a parade and then we are off to that nifty market that I am so in love with and will party like rock stars getting our faces painted, balloons made in animal shapes and stuffing our faces in birthday cake.

It is going to be so much fun! Why don't you join us?

Playing with Balls

2009-06-30T09:01:00.003-06:00

Yesterday saw us relaxing a bit. The travel and sleep deprivation caught up to the kids which in turn gave them short fuses that easily lead to tears, refusing to eat and lots of whining. Thus, we decided to stick close to home and explore our surroundings within the vicinity.

We spent the morning down at the market again where we just can't get enough of. The views are spectacular, the boats coming in and out of port are fascinating to the kids and the overall ambiance of the market is so Caribbean like. You can purchase any kind of food fresh: seafood, meat products, bread, pasta, fruits and vegetables; most of which is certified organic. The upstairs section of the market has trendy little shops that are pricey but unique. The upstairs also hosts a ball pit for kids and a kid's barber shop where they can sit in cars, planes or boat and have their haircut while watching a movie. It is the same as Beaners for those of you back in Calgary.

Again, you will have to pardon the photos as my sister's computer doesn't have any type of editing programs on it so I can't even take out the devil red eyes of the kids. Although, truth be told, I think that he was borrowing their little bodies for periods of the day .....

Down the slippery slide into the pit of balls Kaelen goes.

Into the pit Masyn goes. It took her a little longer to befriend the slide so she was content just to jump into the pit.

Masyn sitting in the pink Barbie car. I selfishly wouldn't let her get her haircut because I love her locks too much.

Kaelen meanwhile needed a trim as his hair grows at the rate of weeds, so he in turn got a buzz cut. Although the picture appears to contradict me, he was very excited about the haircut and having it done in the Spiderman car.

The afternoon saw us having a tour at my sister's office. Do I even have to mention that they have a few fancy rooms that are WALL TO WALL with FULL WINE RACKS. My mouth honestly started drooling and I envisioned myself locking myself in a room to do a wee bit of sampling. After the tour, the kids and I headed back to North Van and went on a little hike around the area. When I say hike, I mean we scaled steep hills in search for a playground that was not all nouveau like. After an hour, we discovered one that the kids enjoyed and spent another hour climbing our hearts out.

After a fabulous dinner with great company we surprisingly headed back down to the market for a walk just in case we missed out on a shipping barge or cruise ship leaving or arriving. Needless to say, the kids slept like angels last night. Not bad for a relaxing day huh?

Today sees us heading over to West Vancouver to spend the day on the beach hunting for seashells. Until later ......

A Whale of A Time

2009-06-28T21:08:00.005-06:00

Busy day today and wow, are we having fun! Lets see .... we went shopping, to the Vancouver Aquarium, to Lonsdale Quay Market and met up with family that I haven't seen in years. We took pictures - lots of pictures but A) my sister doesn't have any kind of editing program and many of the pictures are dark so I am hoping that editing will help them out and B) none of us are photogenic. Like seriously. Any picture that involved one of us someone was looking the other way, had their eyes closed or some stupid cheesy grin caught in the middle of a sentence.

But, just to show you that I am not all that bad when taking photos, I will leave you with a few teasers:

One of the hundreds of butterflies in the rain forest section of the Vancouver Aquarium.

Even though editing could be used, this one is still pretty cool with the kids enjoying the dolphin show from below. We didn't get to see the baby whale (which was the whole point of going), but these entertaining and captivating creatures more than made up for the disappointment of baby viewing.

Auntie Tee Tee and Masyn attempting to play in the "nouveau" style of playgrounds in the trendier areas of Vancouver. My kids gave it a royal thumbs down and would much rather stick to the slides and swings.

This is what my sister gets to wake up to every day: the cityscape of downtown from across the bay. Bitch .....

On the docket for tomorrow: more time at the market (because it is so very cool) which is only a block away from my sister's condo. Bitch ...... sorry, I digress. Oh ya, the market, an old style playground two blocks from her condo and a visit to my sister's office, which I might add is stocked full of wine as she works for a subsidiary division of the largest alcohol company in the world. Bitch ......

Oh, but did I mention that I do love her? Yep ... she has a case of wine that she is so thoughtfully donating to me.

Smelling The Ocean

2009-06-28T07:38:00.003-06:00

We made it. And, the kids thankfully were blessed little angels throughout the entire drive down to Vancouver. We were up and on the road for 5:00 am and drove to Osoyoos, BC for a picnic and splash in the lake. Did I forget to mention that I also fell IN LOVE with Osoyoos? As in I hope that hubby bought a lotto ticket last night and we won kind of love so we could build a fabulous love shack kind of cabin on the lake kind of love? And, with being from Calgary and now Cranbrook, my kids haven't really been around any kind of water other than a sprinkler, so the novelty of dipping their toes in the lakes was thrilling to say the least.

We spent 2 1/2 hours on the beach there and then drove the rest of the way to Vancouver, pulling into Auntie Tee Tee's condo unit just before 6 pm. You could smell the ocean humidity about 1 1/2 hours out of Vancouver and my body started singing in delight. I thrive on humidity - like love it. My body goes into over drive and thrums with endless amounts of energy just begging to be burned off. After unloading the truck, we took a little walk as Auntie Tee Tee lives one block from an open market place that fronts on one of the major shipping ports as well as overlooks downtown Vancouver. The kids were treated to a cruise ship setting sail, hydro planes landing and the sea bus (ferry) arriving. We were in glorious heaven after being cooped up in the truck for so long.

Today we are off to the Vancouver Aquarium to check out the new baby beluga whale and to enjoy some of the other attractions located in Stanley Park. Don't worry .... I will take lots of pictures over the next few days and will share them with you all. Until later!

Off to The Races

2009-06-26T21:02:00.002-06:00

And we are off ..... in about 7 hours from now. See you in Vancouver, BC and I will be sure to share some of my adventures with those of you who can't make it. (okay ... all of you, but it sounded exciting there for a moment no?)

A Flash Of Something

2009-06-26T08:45:00.002-06:00

I got home from work late last night. Okay, well not super late but late as in midnight. It was dark, it was peaceful and it was soothingly fresh seeing as I was couped up in an air conditioned building for the previous 6 hours. For me, it takes a little time to unwind from work at the golf course. I serve in the restaurant/lounge up there and most Thursday nights are hoppin. There are only two of us so we work hard and make good money for doing so. And, if I hit the hay immediately when I get home, I will dream of inputting orders in the computer, messing up someones dinner order or dealing with an upset member over some completely bizarre dreamworld situation.

Last night though, I was completely exhausted. It was a long day with the daycare kids and I was alone at the golf course for most of the night, so ran my hiney off. I gave no thought to the bizarre dreams that would occur, instead I was completely focused upon hitting the hay. After washing my face and midway brushing my teeth, I for some reason caught a flash of something in the mirror that grabbed my attention. You see, the bathroom window was open so if you paid attention, you could see what was going on across the street and up the road. Stopping in mid brush, toothbrush frozen on the front teeth, I tried to focus on what exactly the flash was. It took a full minute for my mind to process what I was looking at: a naked man. Yep folks. I am pretty sure that I saw my brand new neighbour walking around in the buff in the middle of the night. Now, each to their own I say and we are all born naked, so being naked shouldn't be a big deal, however, I can assure you that there was no way I was going to hit the hay right away after that for that would be a guarantee for a nightmare or too.

Why? Lets just say that he isn't exactly GQ material - you know, something worth an erotic fantasy or two right out of a steamy, hot bodied, strong, rich kind of man romance novel.

Stop the Madness!

2009-06-25T14:10:00.002-06:00

Don't ya just hate it when something seems like such a great idea at the time that you go ahead and commit to it, only to find out when you get to that actual moment, you find yourself beating your head against the wall in hopes that your brain will wake up? Uh huh ... I have got it too right now. And a bad case of the stupids.

Here is what my week was like and is going to be like:

Last weekend: Sam Steele days. Two parades, kiddyfest and activities in the park two full days. Yardwork. Housework. Playing with my kids.

This week ... so far: Daycare kids, sick kids, working at night at the golf course, housework and packing for a trip.

This weekend: Drive to Vancouver at 5am Saturday morning BY MYSELF with the kids. Expected driving time: 12 - 13 hours IN ONE DAY. Sunday take kids to Vancouver Aquarium and visit with cousins.

Next week: Spend week in Vancouver visiting sister, heading back home to Cranbrook starting Friday. Did I mention in all of my wisdom that Friday is the ONLY DAY OFF that hubby has and we won't ever be here to enjoy it with him??? Saturday sees me turning 29 years young (again) but will be spent driving ....

Following week: Run daycare, drive Kaelen to and from soccer camp that runs everyday for one week, work Monday and Thursday night at the golf course, yardwork (to catch up on), housework (to get caught up on), grocery shopping and care for my kids.

Following week: Run daycare, drive Kaelen to and from golf camp that runs everyday for one week, work Monday and Thursday night at the golf course, yardwork (that I didn't get done the week before with yard now an overgrown weed pit), housework (that I didn't do and now the laundry has grown legs and is running away), grocery shopping (that I probably didn't get down the week before and we are now out of peanut butter and crackers) and care for my own kids.

So the question is: How come four months ago the above scenario seemed like no big deal? Apparently I need some serious help.

Trying to Keep The Pace

2009-06-19T20:38:00.001-06:00

Lets see, posting has been minimal (again) because well ... life is just like that. Too many things on the go, so here is a little recap but I wish you luck on keeping up with this mother of a long, world record like post:

Last Friday saw us at Fort Steele, BC. It is an easy 10 minute maximum drive from Cranbrook and you are treated with breath taking sights such as this:

And this:

And as you are catching your breath from the incredible sights surrounding you, you are also treated to stepping into the past and capture a glimpse of life in a heritage town. Currently, this little park offers an abundance of baby critters such as horses, cows, goats and pigs. The other animals are slightly jealous of the attention the other animals are getting so therefore target suckers such as us to entertain themselves. Case in hand: crazy chicken below:

This rooster entertained all of the kids (daycare kids and my own) for 15 minutes and actually suckered my son into believing that he was the next "Chicken Whisperer". This bird would shout his cockadoodledo at the top of his lungs in answer to my son's clucking attempt. If another child, adult or animal attempted to partake in this rooster version of American Idol, the silence was deafening. If my son broke the silence with his doodledo version, the damn bird would have his rebuttal twice as loud. And, at one point, the rooster in the pen across the alley way, joined in to make it a threesome harmony for a solid five minutes. It was a sight to be seen that had visitors, employees and all around in peals of laughter, tears and amazement. After tearing my son away from his bonding moment with the other males, there was a little gold panning to be done:

And yes, eureka was called and the kids came home with water filled vials of their gold specks.

The weekend was filled with yard work, house work and playing with my kids.

Monday saw Kaelen having another hearing test and a follow up appointment with the specialist to determine what our next course of action will be for him. The hearing test went well. In fact, his hearing has improved since his adenoid surgery, unlike his health. And, we did not get to see the specialist to determine our next course of action. We will have to wait until August 4th for that information because, well, that is our stellar medical system for you: too many people in need; not enough specialists.

Tuesday was Kaelen's last day of soccer. The night was great as Daddy was able to join us and seeing as McDonalds sponsored Kaelen's soccer league, there was a wind up there. Darn. I managed to shovel a Quarter Pounder Meal into my gullet without any issues.

Thursday morning saw Kaelen graduating from preschool and Mommy choking on a few tears that morning. How the hell did he grow so fast? My baby, my best friend will be going to kindergarten come the fall. And he will be turning five in the fall.

Thursday night saw me back at the golf course because well, I am a sucker for punishment. I work every Thursday night helping out the Food & Beverage department and come July, it will be Monday nights too. It makes for long days with the daycare and this, but we are hoping to be able to go on another family vacation this winter, with hopes of returning back to Disneyland so a Mommy has to do what it takes to ensure that happens.

That brings me to today, Friday. It is the gulp ... Monster Trucks ... which hubby will be indebted to me forever for doing this seeing as he had a mental fart and booked a member function over at the golf course that required his presence. So off I go with my son to the gulp, Monster Trucks, and even though I am not a big drinker, I just may have to ease the pain by consuming one or two beverages during the "show". It is also Sam Steele Days this weekend so it is a busy one for us as we will be attending the parades and festivities.

Until Monday at least ......

Dressing My Dolly

2009-06-11T21:02:00.003-06:00

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a fashionista by any means. I don't have a sense of style mostly due to having the challenge of never finding clothes that actually fit my long legs, bubble butt, short waisted torso and non existing breasts.

Having said that, have I ever mentioned at how much I LOVE dressing my daughter? It may not be stylish, but for me, it certainly adds to her overall cuteness.

Rescued!

2009-06-09T09:11:00.002-06:00

It's a Bird! No, it's a plane! No .... It's Super Kaelen!

Have no fears my friends, Super Kaelen and his trusty side kick Princess Masyn will fight all my battles for me to ensure that I am well protected. What a truly lucky Mommy I am!

No Answers ..... Yet

2009-06-08T09:52:00.002-06:00

No answers were forth coming for Kaelen's appointment this past Thursday. There was a lot of vagueness on behalf of the specialist, unwilling to question his partner's decision (in front of us) as to why things were done the way they were. I can appreciate that and I can respect the decision as to why the original specialist did the things the way he did. After all, he was only treating Kaelen for the issue that was at hand: damaged hearing due to enlarged adenoids and speech complications due to said adenoids. He wasn't looking for other issues at hand because we had never identified them as issues. They were never issues that we were aware of. Until recently, we have never dealt with sore throats nor ear infections. Our issue has always been with the little man's speech; you either understand him or not. And, a majority of people are in the second category as opposed to the first.

The good news is that our new specialist has booked Kaelen in for a hearing test next week to determine whether or not Kaelen has actually suffered further hearing damage. He wants to cover all bases of issues at hand to be able to treat them all at once upon surgery. At this point, we know that the tonsils are coming out, but the specialist wants to ensure that is the only surgery that is needed and if not, then he can do all things necessary in one surgery as opposed to multiple.

So, we wait until June 15th, the hearing test, to see where we go from here.

Give My Girl Some Love Will Ya?

2009-06-05T13:41:00.002-06:00

Hey, for all of my loyal fellow bloggers and lurkers, could you do me a favour today (being Friday) or tomorrow (being Saturday)? My girlfriend, Goofball, is having a big day tomorrow: she is getting married!!

Please head on over here to wish her a happy day, a life filled with love, happiness and laughter. I am so truly happy for her and her man and you can't imagine how much I wish that I could be there for the big day. I am filled with guilt with having no money to do so but instead I will deal with it and shower them with loving thoughts over the weekend. That and a few interesting things that just may arrive on their doorstep over the next week or two .......

Goofball and Mr. Goofball: I love you both and wish you the absolute best on your special day. Know that I am there in spirit and thoughts and look forward to talking with you both and listening to you share your day with me.

Waiting for Answers

2009-06-04T09:05:00.003-06:00

Today is the day where hopefully answers will come forth. Answers to how we are going to help Kaelen get better. Ever since the removal of his adenoids back in March, he has been dealing with tonsillitis, hearing loss, ear infections and now speech loss as we can't understand what he is saying.

The adenoids were removed to prevent further hearing damage due to consistent fluid being trapped within the ear canals resulting from over large adenoids. The surgery went so easy and we lived in bliss for three weeks post surgery; all was looking good, until we derailed. Isn't that always the case?

Kaelen was seen by another specialist a few weeks back at the hospital and we are to go back this morning. He questioned why the tonsils were never taken out as they are on the large side of normal as well and he felt that they were the contributing factor to Kaelen's speech issues. He also felt (at the time) that Kaelen likely has always had major ear infections within the ear drum and tonsillitis and that he just never conveyed that pain/discomfort to us. How did he know this? Scar tissue, the sheer size of the tonsils after repetitive flare ups and so forth.

So folks, keep your fingers crossed for us that we can get some kind of diagnosis today to help ease the little man's problems. And of course, I hope the specialist is prepared because I have a list as long as my 36" inseam of questions that I want answered.

Roughin It

2009-06-02T13:20:00.004-06:00

The weather was perfect, the excitement filled the air and we were going to do it: rough it tent style. The kids were flying with anticipation of checking out their new haunts for the weekend and well, truthfully, I was fighting with my inner Princess to stay down and not go all diva on me about sleeping on the ground, having no running water nor toilet within 25 steps from me.

Calling upon my inner girl guide experiences hidden within the deep recesses of my overloaded brain, I managed to erect the tent at a record speed of one hour. And during that time, a few expletives were let go, sand and dirt got tracked into the tent (the horror upon horrors for a anal clean freak) as the kids attempted to climb in to check the digs out and I only managed drill my finger into the ground with the mallet once.

With our palace finally established we quickly began to furnish the inside with the needed necessities to survive the weekend: a queen airbed, futon mattress, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, stuffed animal friends, shelves to put drinks, snacks and yes, the portable DVD player on. Our palace could now rival any harem tent for luxury. After a fabulous BBQ dinner at a picnic table, teaching my son how to pee in the trees and jumping into our PJ's, we settled in for the night with a movie, chips and serious cuddles on the airbed.

A few hours later, the sun finally went down and it was time for bed. The kids were out immediately, cuddled into one another while I lay there starring at the ceiling listening to the noises about me and knew that there would be minimal sleep for me that night. The Mommy Ears kicked in picking up every noise right down to a mouse fart. But the lack of Z's was well worth it seeing the huge grin on my children's faces when they woke up in the morning and enthusiastically declared that camping is so much fun.

The sad thing of this story? We roughed it in our backyard and I snuck into the house a few times to pee on the toilet. And the funny part of the story? I have promised the kids to take them camping this summer outside of the backyard. Snort, don't worry, I am laughing at the thought too.

Water Fun

2009-05-30T08:57:00.004-06:00

Don't you just wish that you could revisit those days in your youth when sprinklers provided an adventure of a lifetime?

Of course Diva wouldn't subject herself to getting wet so the little man went to town enjoying the lushness of grass and a backyard that we didn't have last year.

My Diva

2009-05-29T13:46:00.003-06:00

I can't get enough of her. I mean really, I can't. She drives me around the bed a lot lately, but somehow I am finding the humour in her antics and her constant demands. She is bound and determined to be potty trained so we still live in the bathroom for 90% of the day. And because she is a true princess, there is no squatting in the bushes, nor is going on a kiddy porta potty an option for her. This means that we are missing much of the beautiful, hot, sunny days out there of late. And if she doesn't get things her way? Let's just say that she gives Mariah Carey a run for her money in the screeching, higher octave level. She is demanding and very determined to do what ever her brother does. This usually results in many boo boo's and injured pride, thus pushing me to purchase stock shares in Nexus Princess Bandaids. That and giving me a work out, because she will refuse to walk or use the injured limb regardless if there is actually a mark on her or not.

But all that it takes is a mischievous look from her, a grin, an eager clap at an accomplishment or a sloppy wet kiss, and all of the tense moments are wiped away. I am still the most important person in her life but when will that end? When will I be put on the shelf and become a nuisance? And the biggest question of all? How could I have ever thought that I couldn't be a mother to a daughter?

You Capture - Week .... Erm .... Who Knows?

2009-05-28T08:14:00.006-06:00

After an embarassingly long hiatus, I am back and very determined to not miss out again. Life just has a way of becoming very overwhelmed when one is dealing with tense issues my work, a sick child who will need another surgery and a concerning health diagnosis of my sister. But, all of these issues will likely be hashed out in later posts.

This week's challenge is family. And upon attempting to take a page out of Beth's book of snapping 100's of pictures per week, sadly, only the ones of my daughter came out looking decent. I therefore had to cheat and use a picture of my son and hubby that is two weeks old and another from Easter. I know, sorry Beth, I am a baddy aren't I? And, it was important to me to include my hubby seeing as I moan that he is never around, I did want to prove that he is not a figment of my imagination. As for a pic of moi? Nada. Sorry. Besides, you wouldn't want my mug to grace this page for fears that it would make you spew your coffee or crack your computer screen.

Easter Brunch 2009. It was a rare moment where we actually were able to go out and eat as a family.

Hubby and my son having a boy moment together enjoying the bumper cars at the local weekend fair. He has since had a hair cut; my son, not hubby.

My fly girl daughter, who insists in creating her own style every day. Yesterday, she was partial to wearing my son's ball cap backwards. And because she is so stinking cute (in my opinion), she can pull it off.

So now I am off to check out other participants. Wanna join me? Click here and you won't be disappointed, I can guarantee that!

2009-05-27T19:13:00.002-06:00

I honestly try to make an effort to come here more often but fail. I mean wow - how hard is it to sit down, grab the laptop and type?

With the prolonged absences I am hurting myself really. I am missing out on capturing the best time of my life with my children because I am "too busy". When I look back at all my posts from the past, I find myself grinning, laughing and even crying. This is a journal of my life and I am too lazy to record it. Shame on me.

So, I am going to attempt to post at least every day, even if it is about nothing. And for the limited few that actually read it, you will likely get very bored reading about my children and my endless, tiring days. Sorry. But, the more I get back into blogging, the more my creative juices will flow and I just may be able to blog about humorous, interesting things about life.

Sigh .... my chin is up and here we go! Until tomorrow folks ......

The Collector

2009-05-19T08:53:00.005-06:00

What is the saying? One man's junk is another's treasure? That little saying certainly effectively describes children too. It never ceases to amaze me what my children find the sparkle of treasure in. It can be a rock, pine cone, a broken toy to a scratched up, rusted penny. It is endearing but it is also painful for a habitual clean freak such as myself. At every given opportunity, I will donate and/or throw away junk that is never used within our house. My husband on the other hand is like a squirrel and will burrow it away into the deep recesses of the basement "just in case" we have a need of it somewhere in the future. Apparently my children come by it honestly then.

Going to Nana's house is like a treasure hunter's dream for my children, because like my husband, Nana does not throw anything away. Her house is filled to the brim with junk and trinkets galore and while it can become amusing, if not down right entertaining, it can become worrisome at just what my children will discover and what Nana will attempt to pawn off on me ... erm ... the kids.

This past weekend was no exception with cleaning out crawl spaces and closets at Nana's house. Decrepit, ripped up suitcases, old rusted camping gear, 20+ year old toys that don't work anymore to dusty sporting equipment was discovered. And, much to my son's excitement, boxes of old trophies too. Within seconds of Kaelen's discovery, the calculated gleam came to Nana's eyes and before long, Kaelen was the proud new owner of four old trophies. Kaelen excited beyond belief at his good fortune and Nana's incredible generosity quickly picked out two hockey and one soccer trophy for himself.

In his excitement, he continued to badger me for the remainder of the weekend to have his picture taken with his favorite trophy:

Now, this is the part where I must confess that this particular treasure hunt was a sentimental treasure hunt for me. The trophies that my son was insistent upon having? They were some of my dad's hockey trophies for MVP of the league and national championships. And, being the beautiful child that my son is, he so innocently claimed that his grandpa would be happy to give them to him because he (Kaelen) loved hockey too and would be just as good as his grandpa. Kaelen then went on to ask if his grandpa could see him from heaven and proceeded to look up into the air and thank his grandpa for the trophies and that he would win lots when he grew up to share with him too (grandpa).

So, this begs a question for myself, how could I not like treasure hunting now?

Long Weekend Labor

2009-05-15T14:17:00.002-06:00

Long weekend? Yes, for some here in Canada, however not for me. Boo. BUT .... next weekend is a long weekend for me! Yay!! Next weekend I am treated to three days (maybe) of no daycare kids. Just another three blissful days where I can give my own children 100% of my undivided attention, care and love. Sigh ... I can hardly wait.

In the meantime, this weekend. Tonight after daycare closes, the kids and I are off to Nelson to have a quick visit with Nana. That, and Nana is planning on using me as free slave labor to accomplish the items on the list of Shi#ty Things To Do. Yep that means crawling into a tiny cubby hole to clean out forgotten useless items that are at least 30+ years old, to trimming hedges, pulling out rose bushes, painting a deck and so on. And, because in these days and ages, statutory holidays really mean nothing because everything is open, hence I must be open on Victoria Day because parents need to work and children need places to go. Ugh. Next weekend can't come quick enough if you ask me.

Until then, for all of you Canadians out there, enjoy your long weekend!!

A Weekend for Gratitude

2009-05-08T10:01:00.002-06:00

Today is Friday folks and do you know what that means? Yep - no daycare kids for this chicky for three whole days!! Whoot! Whoot! Additionally, there is a fair in town and a children's festival so tomorrow will be packed with giggles, adventures and likely a few tears because you know, things like that happen when kids get over stimulated.

And, I just wanted to send out a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has left a comment, emailed or called me with encouragement after reading my last couple of posts. Thank
you. It means so much to me. Truly. And while my break won't happen for a while to come, I am going to enjoy this weekend and view it as a break that I can enjoy with my children. Because believe me, part of the guilt issues that I have about admitting that I need a break is the fact that my munchkins are growing oh so quickly and before long, they will be at the age where I am not cool and I am second choice for entertainment value. Deep down I know that this is what I signed on for and if given a chance, would never trade it for the world. Kind of ironic that all of this is coming to fruition right about Mother's Day no?

A Hockey Hero

2009-05-07T09:31:00.003-06:00

Dear Mr. Bieksa and/or the Canucks Organization,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughtful kindness. Words can not aptly describe the joy that you gave my son when he saw that envelope addressed to him arrive in the mail yesterday. Nor can they effectively capture the excited disbelief that occurred when he discovered what was enclosed within that envelope. Your incredible thoughtfulness to send him a card with your picture on it and your signature has ensured that he will remain on Cloud Nine for many, many days to come and has cemented your status of Hockey Hero in his heart.

And, just to clarify with you, those letters that he mailed you? Yes, I will admit to writing them for him, but I wrote word for word what he wanted to share with you. You are truly his hockey hero and each day, he becomes you in his hockey adventures. You will never know how many overtime winners, game winners and penalty shot goals you have scored, nor will you realize just how many times you have hoisted the Stanley Cup over your head in victorious glory. The entire world surrounding my son knows that his alter ego is Kevin Bieksa and that you are the best defenceman in the hockey world.

And last night? That thoughtful, precious card went to bed with my son sending him in sweet dreams of hockey and you. Today the card goes everywhere with him so he can proudly show it off.

Thank you so very much for your gesture. Words can not effectively express my gratitude towards you.

Sincerely,

Kaelen's Mom

Where Am I?

2009-05-07T09:13:00.004-06:00

Honestly? Most days I don't know where I am. My head is caught up in the never ending list of things to get done, thinking ahead of what has to be done, yet cognizant of what is going on around me to intervene with child play if needed. My day starts at 5:30 am and doesn't finish until 10:00 pm, and trust me when I say there is NO TIME within those hours for me, unless you qualify walking/running at 5:30 am for an hour as me time. Personally I view it as a form of necessary punishment to ensure that I can keep up with the kids each day and sadly, I don't even get that done consistently.

And truthfully, I am struggling with everyday life right now. I am feeling overwhelmed and alone lately and it is bugging the crap out of me. So add to the above list: beating one's self up. Why beat myself up? Well it is sooooooo incredibly difficult for me to admit to anyone let alone myself that I feel like I need a break. A break from my children. There, I said it and now need to go and wipe the tears away. Why is it so hard for me to admit that? Why do I have to feel so incredibly guilty thinking and saying that? I mean, it is natural to feel that no? Truth be told, I am with my children 24/7 and alone. Hubby is working is ass off hauling huge hours 24/7 and it will be like that until at least October. It isn't like I am not used to this so why am I struggling? Part of me tries to justify it that I am working out of the house running a daycare, so for 10 hours a day, I have five children that I am responsible for. Add in another 4 hours of additional children and well ya, the desire for adult stimulation gets very appealing. By the time all children are gone, it is dinner time, bath time, bed time and then the tedious task of cleaning up the daycare, tidying the house and prepping meals for the next day. Before you know it, it is 10:00 pm and I am just sitting down for the first time in the day, hubby walks in, looks drained and hits the hay. No talky for Allie.

Anyways, this is my pity party for myself as I try to work things out for myself. In the big picture I feel blessed that I get to be at home with my children every day but sometimes it is hard to admit that I am human and need a break. Oh ... and did I mention that because I have so much time for myself that I am going to be working two nights a week outside of the house because we are hurting for money? I justify the extra labour as an investment because that money will go towards a 2 week family vacation that we ARE going on in January to act like a normal family, but secretly I think that I am a sucker for punishment.

The Block Mom

2009-05-03T08:33:00.003-06:00

When I discovered that I was pregnant with my son, I thought long and hard about what kind of mom I wanted to be. I wrote down goals, fears and dreams, and ironically the fear list was longer than the other two. As we can all identify, becoming a Mom is a fearful thing. In fact, it is a fearful experience upon the moment that we discover precious life growing within us, or for some, upon hearing the news that a baby is waiting for you to love them. Suddenly you are thrust into a realm of uncertainty, worrying about little things that you never thought possible. Your heart is no longer your own because it is wholly owned by our amazing child and/or children. And despite that fear being overwhelming at times, the joy, love and happiness that is present outweighs that fear and makes this job called Motherhood incredibly beautiful and worth it.

One of my goals about being a Mom was to be that open, outgoing Mom. I envisioned having that chaotic house filled with kids running around, doors opening and closing, phones ringing and laughter echoing off the walls. I want to be that Mom where my children's friends felt comfortable around me where they could just be themselves. I saw myself being that support person for a child should they need a grown up to confide their fears to. But most of all, I want to just be a part of watching my children grow up and sharing in their laughter, despair and fears. I want to be that soft place to fall for my children and their friends.

Moving to Cranbrook last year has thrust us right into the middle of kid haven neighbourhood. Within days, I realized that I was starting to experience and fulfill these goals/dreams. However, that good ol' adage, "Be careful what you ask for", has proven that one must exercise caution when attempting to fulfill their dreams. Our house/yard is inundated with the neighborhood kids 24/7 and I now find myself in the position where I feel at times that I am the Mom to all of these kids. At first it was fun, but now it has grown into frustration and at times resentment. All parents within our neighborhood know that I run a dayhome during the week. They also know that due to provincial legislation, I am mandated a child allowance of the number of children allowed on my property while I am functioning under business hours. However, this doesn't stop them from encouraging their children to bombard my house whenever they see us playing out in our yard or going for a walk. And yes, I said encouraged. Due to children and their innocence, you would be amazed at how much they unknowingly tell you about the family dynamics and conversations that occur within their home. "Allison, my mom said that because she is tired, I could come over here to play with you because I behaved at daycare today" (which I will point out is literally at the house across the street from me).

Now, I do have to be careful because there is that part of me that doesn't mind having every kid at my house. I get to ensure that my children interact properly using manners and respect, I know where they are at all times (because let me tell you, other kids are the same age as my son, 4, and those kids will go for hours running around the neighborhood without a parent checking in on them), and I get to create bonds and friendships with the other kids around here. I don't mind helping other parents out either because I do understand how stressful and tiring working and managing a home, family and life is. But, when does the "open house" policy cross the line to taking advantage?

I am firm with all children when they come to play here. They must play by the rules that my children and daycare children adhere to. They are gently scolded if necessary and are asked to go home if their actions continue to be out of line. I have made every effort to get to know all of these parents, introduce myself and get to know about their lives. And in turn, let them know a little about us. I find it weird though that I am the one initiating all of this when in fact they should be because they are the ones pawning their children off on me. Amongst my next door neighbors, it is the joke that I am the block mom, because children are always, always, always here. Again, to contradict myself, I really don't mind, it is just some days it would be so refreshing to have a break too, you know?

So the question is, is it me having my own pity party? Or, am I being taken advantage of? In the big picture, I guess that I can't have my cake and eat too and live to complain about it right?

How about you? Are you a block mom? If so, how do you deal with the responsibility?

The Wrath

2009-04-26T09:01:00.003-06:00

Who pissed off Mother Nature? I mean, someone had to have done something rather nasty for her to inflict this kind of weather upon us now. For the past three days, we have been subjected to snow, and will continue to be so for at least another 2 days.

So whomever pissed her off, could you please make amends and be quick about it? If not, trust me when I say that my wrath will be much more to deal with.

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK 9

2009-04-22T21:38:00.003-06:00

I must admit when I first read about this week's challenge, I was a little intimidated. How on earth would I be able to come up with something creative, beautiful or just down right witty? But folks, the key word there was earth; and children. I decided to leave this week's challenge up to our beloved earth and kids.

So, today (being April 22nd - Earth Day), we loaded up the van and headed off to the forest park as my son calls it. Armed with garbage bags and imaginative little minds, my children and my daycare children picked that park clean from litter and found pretty much the entire alphabet in their imaginative little minds. Here is just a wee glimpse of letters from their perspective and what Mother Nature offers us in her natural beauty:

Introducing the Letter "T"

And now for the Letter "H"

Let's hear it for the Letter "V"

Or, why not a Letter "Y"?

Or how about a cone for K?

And if these weren't entertaining enough, we were treated to our own live version of the Earth movie, released by Disney today. The pond within this park is stocked with fish for children under the age of 16 to fish in. A young osprey was hunting above today which had the kids quite enthralled as it dove into the water in an attempt to catch food. Out of the blue, a great bald eagle came swooping in and proceeded to take control of the pond. A struggle for power ensued only to quickly be awarded to the bald eagle. The young osprey, after a valiant fight, flew off while the bald eagle scouted the area for a throne to survey his new kingdom. Sitting upon his perch, it let out a few piercing cries to let us all know who was the king of the area.

It was incredibly educational and better than any movie and/or documentary that I have seen in many years.

Would you like to play along or check out some great talent from other participants? Head on over here!

Inner Smack Down

2009-04-22T10:28:00.003-06:00

The smack down is going to happen today - with myself. Me, that little nagging inner voice and my head are going to have one serious conversation today and learn how to work with one another. We are going to work on focusing and keeping our eye on the positive as opposed to all of the "what ifs". When am I going to learn that I need to trust myself and instincts? I am a research nut and since having Kaelen prematurely, I research EVERYTHING out when it involves my family's health and as a result, I have honestly been RIGHT 99% of the time with my self diagnosis. Additionally, it has allowed me to ask informed questions with health care professionals and work with them accordingly. I am NOT that person who goes into the doctor and thinks that they know it all, but rather let them assess the situation and come up with their own diagnosis. If it differs from my own (which has only happened once), then I would ask (sincerely) if it could be what ever I think that it is.

We had the "appointment" this morning and all is well. I won't go into details as they can get pretty personal and intimate given the area of the body that it involved and I don't think that it would be fair to Kaelen to write about it so openly. If you want the gory details, then I can certainly email you with the outcome. Lets just say that all is well with his nether regions and the "lump" will resolve itself accordingly. I am to keep an eye on it to look for changes such as pain or redness and other things, but I am pretty confident that all will go well. WHEW!! And despite of me being pretty certain as to what it was, I am still thanking the higher powers at be for protecting my son and keeping him healthy.

Bug Juice Please

2009-04-20T11:55:00.002-06:00

It was a long weekend. Long as in sick kid long. Nothing is worse as a parent when you feel totally helpless in alleviating your child's discomfort and wondering what the hell is wrong with them. And, if you are like me, you research all of the possibilities out and self diagnose. And because of that diagnosis, it took the little man and I to the hospital yesterday.

Kaelen had been complaining of a sore throat four days prior but it was mostly at night when he tried to sleep as he was distracted throughout the day with playing. Friday night was bad, with him waking up every couple of hours crying. Saturday was a total write off: he couldn't talk, wouldn't eat and cried every couple of minutes. The night was even worse; he was awake for most of the night moaning and whimpering. Yesterday morning came about and the left side of his neck was swollen as was his jaw. Neither Tylenol nor Advil were bringing him any measures of comfort so that had me very concerned. So concerned that I even resorted to giving him Tylenol 3 left over from his surgery a month ago, which didn't provide him a measure of comfort either. Nothing seemed to be cutting through the pain to help him out. Everything from the mumps to strep throat to post surgery infection for his adenoids came to mind and I was at a loss to how to help him.

Thankfully, I trusted my Mommy instinct and took him into the hospital. I was pretty sure that all he had was strep throat, but in the back of my mind what I couldn't discount was the swelling was about nor why Tylenol 3 wasn't helping him. After 4 hours of waiting in a hospital bed, we got our answer: not only did he have strep, he also had tonsillitis and an abscess on his left tonsil. $70 later, with a bottle full of "bug juice", the proper dosage for the Tylenol 3 and Advil, we headed home in hopes that we could avoid surgery to drain that abscess.

With a solid sleep that had eluded him for the past four days, Kaelen woke up to his normal, exuberant self this morning. He is still sore and he still can't talk very well, but he is eating and wanting to play. He will only take the "bug juice" and doesn't want any pain relievers. And the best news? At this point, the "bug juice" looks like it is working it's magic and the abscess has receded and on it's way of disappearing, meaning no draining necessary. Whew!

Now, only if I can have good news like this come Wednesday for a nervous appointment that he has. I haven't mentioned it to many because I don't want to be told not to worry, nor that "it is likely nothing". And, I am NOT thinking worst case scenario either, but nevertheless I am nervous. Back in February, we discovered a large lump on Kaelen's "dewy" and after a thorough examination by our family doctor, we have been referred to a specialist to try and figure out what exactly that lump is. Our family doctor wasn't sure and felt that we couldn't ignore it and should be proactive to rule all "bad things" out. Chances are that it is nothing, perhaps fatty tissues or something, but I am still nervous and have that sunken pit in my stomach for some reason. Until then though, give me a break if I seem a little distracted, m'kay?

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK 8

2009-04-16T06:56:00.004-06:00

One would think that seeing as I pretty much live in the redneck capital of North America, that this week's theme would be cinch. Mmm hmm .... every where I went throughout the week I was "seeing" opportunities, wishing that I had batteries for my camera. When crunch time came around (ahem .... yesterday afternoon), all of those opportunities were no longer there: the rusted old wagon in the neighbor's yard up the block: gone. Heading out to Fort Steele, a heritage town: too late. That really old fence post with a wagon wheel leaning against it: burnt down.

Upon my sister's suggestion, I was going to take photos of my house only realizing that I will save that for a retro theme or something that Beth may come up with. Because believe you me folks, my house will spank any other house out there in the retro category.

It was my son's suggestion that we go to the forest park just up the road. And it was also his suggestion to take photos of the "really" old bird house and fence with pine cones right beside it. I even took them in sepia in hopes that it added to the ambiance of the moment. So, if it this is not rustic, let's just pretend for my four year old that it is K?

Would you like to play along? Or, how about checking out other's photos in this great fun? Head on over here, it will be worth your while!

Excuses

2009-04-15T14:04:00.005-06:00

Excuses, excuses. I have so many really for not blogging. Excuses like the Internet service being down AGAIN, to a busy, fun filled loving Easter weekend to a fully loaded daycare due to said Easter weekend. Oh, and lets not forget that spring has sprung here so we are outside for a majority of the day playing, finishing off our landscaping and attempting to run to get into shape. Then there is that book that I just finished with another one just begging me to dive into and the Stanley Cup playoffs begin tonight, specifically my team, the Vancouver Canucks. And, there is just nothing better about early evenings in the springtime than the exciting hockey playoffs. Sigh ... excuses ... I am so very good with them, no?

I will however leave you with these: photos of my family at Easter brunch.

Aren't my boys incredibly handsome? And the girls? Well, the little one is precious beyond belief and that hag like one cuddling her is me. I thought dying my hair copper red would help soften the lines that seem to develop everyday however, looking at this pic only shows me how delusioned I am. Thanks Auntie Tee Tee for taking these great pictures!

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK SEVEN

2009-04-08T21:34:00.003-06:00

This week's theme was fun. Oh and what fun we had. In fact, with spring finally here, it was really hard to quit taking pictures of the kids enjoying the sunshine and outdoors. HOWEVER, my capturing abilities are somewhat challenged so 99% of my pictures were blurry, eyes were closed or just plain stupid.

I did capture the kids blowing bubbles, which had them highly entertained for almost an hour. You will have to pardon the date stamp on the photos though. I tried to edit them but cropping them out took away from the actual bubbles.

Wanna play? Better yet, wanna check out some fabulous photos from people who actually know what they are doing and have the knack? Head on over here!

6 Years Ago ...

2009-04-08T12:47:00.002-06:00

Today is my anniversary folks, and as always, it feels kind of weird. 6 years ago, after living in sin for 10 years, my hubby and I, along with 30 close friends and family, were celebrating our love tropical style. We were married in a garden grove just off the beach and then sauntered down the beach onto a catamaran and floated around the bay to do our speeches, toasts, dancing and celebratory drinking.

Those moments feel just like yesterday as I close my eyes and relive those memories, yet somehow, 6 years just doesn't seem like enough. I want more and will have more. We want to make it to 50 years, to live in our love and share it with all that surround us. We are proud of our love and we are strong in our love for one another. We marvel at the past 6 years, and giggle with wonderment of the past 16 (come November) and the adventures we have experienced with each other.

We tear up as we embrace our children and melt within each other knowing that our love created these perfect, precious little beings. We dream of our future and what it holds for us, specifically what challenges we will face and the adventures we will go on. We take deep breaths as we face our present challenges and find the lesson learned in life for the years that have passed. It is our understanding of each other and bringing that balance to each other that keeps us pushing on with determination, excitement and curiosity.

Love can be an amazing thing, and I am truly humbled to have found the man to share it with. I am incredibly blessed and my life has been enriched because of him. Words can not do justice how much I love him, respect him and enjoy being with him. Sigh .... I am so in love and I am so lucky to be so.

I am off to relive my wedding with my children through a video and picture albums .....

Spring Has Sprung

2009-04-07T12:44:00.000-06:00

Sorry folks, blogging has been sporadic and will continue to be as such because spring has finally arrived! The weather has been sunny and averaging +17 C meaning that we are spending all of our moments outside expending some serious energy build ups. The grass is starting to green, the kids are sleeping through the night and yes, I already have a light watch tan line!

Sigh .... I am sooooooo excited for summer now! Kind of greedy aren't I ....

Today is 500

2009-04-03T08:30:00.002-06:00

It is a landmark day for this blog site today: this post is number 500! And, ironically, I have nothing to talk about. Normally I would just refrain from posting but the lure to post on this landmark moment was just too tempting. I figured that I should tell you all about why and how I started blogging.

As many of you can likely attest to, finding the time to send emails to family and friends with updates was time consuming and you just never knew if they were actually reading them or not. And, I found that many times, I would be sending multiple emails in an effort to individualize them all to each party. Meanwhile, my good friend Goofball, had her site and it was a way for us to keep up over the miles that separated us. It was upon her urging that I enthusiastically jumped into the blogging world as an alternate way to keep in touch with family and friends. That was 3+ years ago and while the blogging may be sporadic some days, this little obsessive hobby of mine is still going strong. No longer are emails sent out, bogging down my server and I no longer wonder if people are really reading them or not. Instead, they can come to my personal online diary to see how my children are growing and to follow our lives.

Over the past couple of years, I feel like I have met some pretty incredible people despite never actually meeting them. One day, I would love to have the opportunity to meet people like Steph, Sheryl, Amber and Beth as they were my first online bloggy friends and have continued to provide me with support. I have been blessed to have met Jenn, not once but twice, and know that one day, we will meet up again hopefully this time with our children. I look forward to meeting other precious online friends such as Ellen and Beth because I feel over the past year, I have a special, unique connection with them. I am determined to meet the incredible and inspiring Ashley's Mom because her strength, drive and passion for her children and other's with disabilities is truly breathtaking and admirable. And truthfully, there are so many others out there in the blogging world that have encouraged me, supported me and enlightened me that I do the injustice of not mentioning.

My life has been incredibly enriched by the blogging world and I constantly marvel at how important it is to me. It is amazing really the power that the internet holds and how complete strangers can pop into your life and make such a difference.

Thank you to my blogging friends and to my lurkers that never leave me a message. Thank you for caring enough to come and check us out to keep up on our lives. Here is to another 500 posts ..... good gosh, it could get scary.

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK 6

2009-04-02T07:04:00.003-06:00

Okay ..... as many around North America can attest to, this week's challenge was a bit of a toughie due to Mother Nature and her wish to not cooperate. I know for me, I am tired of that wet, icy white stuff and just itching to get out and be wrapped in the warmth of those sunshine rays (with sunscreen on of course).

So, sadly, my photos this week are not good, in fact are cheesy. Both were taken yesterday in a moment where the rain had just finished up to take away the snow. And yes, the snow is back on the ground this morning with a nice fresh layer of ice on it too. The good news is that we are supposed to hit the double digits next week .... sigh .... it can't come soon enough for me!!

Yes - I am hoping that Mother Nature will take the hint with my sidewalk chalk graffiti.

A shot of our backyard that we landscaped last year. We went from trees and mud to a nice open, grassy, fenced in play area. And from the looks of it, the sod looks like it is starting to green up nicely!

That's it folks! Head on over here, to see what others have captured or if you would like to join in on the fun too!!

No Joke

2009-04-01T08:46:00.002-06:00

I keep wishing that someone would come and tell me that the white stuff outside is all an illusion, part of an elaborate April Fool's Day joke on me.

Sadly, no one has enlightened my day and I am beginning to think that the weather man is not joking when he says that we will have snow on and off again for the next few days.

Ugh. When is Spring EVER going to arrive?

Finding Strength

2009-03-29T09:36:00.003-06:00

The time has come for me to buck up and take control of my own destiny. Destiny in the form of ...... exercise. Yep. Just hearing that word practically causes me to vomit, muscles seize up and my butt provides the illusion of being 20 lbs heavier, hence forcing me to sit down in an effort to give my poor overtaxed legs a break. So, in an effort to take control, I have come up with the bird brain idea that I will sacrifice well deserved sleep and awaken upon the first chirp of a bird, without a coffee, to go for a run.

Okay, seriously now, I will likely walk for the first couple of days to help my body adjust to the sudden shock of punishment and then will slowly introduce the running movement (provided my brain and body can cooperate with one another). I have always had a dream to participate in a marathon and the goal was to accomplish that before turning 40. In a couple of months I will be 37, and training for a run as such takes anywhere from 1 - 2 years so it is now or never for me.

The alarm has been set for 5:30 am tomorrow morning - and this is a late one for me as I do not have daycare kids tomorrow. Other mornings, particularly come summer, that alarm will chime at 4:00 am so I can get my run in before hubby goes to work, which is usually 5:30 am in the peak of golf season. Just thinking of that causes my stomach to churn and sudden ailments show signs of popping up like a tweaked knee or ankle. It has me wondering if my son, who is 4 and begging to do a running race with me this year, could push me in the jogging stroller each morning while I enjoy that much needed cup of coffee. Now that, is my ideal form of exercise. Until that actually happens, I will take off tomorrow in hopes that I don't fall on ice, pull a hamstring, get lost or just down right walk too far away from home that I can't make it back. But don't worry .... I will be equipped with my cell phone and of course money just in case I happen to pass out right in front of the coffee shop.

Spring Time

2009-03-27T13:02:00.003-06:00

Finally, I mean finally, there is hope that spring has actually arrived. And while it is a true toss up between Summer and Autumn being my favourite time of year, this year, spring is giving those two seasons a real run for their money. For me, it seems like the never ending winter. It was cold, icy and ugly. There were not a ton of days where we could play outside and create adventures in a white winter wonderland. And for me, that meant many days being couped up in my house with 6 kids climbing the walls. With that came the dawning realization that running a daycare has provided the perfect form of birth control for me. There are days where I feel like a failure, becoming easily frustrated and resentful of feeling like a prisoner of never ending days. I mean, if I can't handle 10 hours a day, five days a week with more than 2 children, how on earth could I handle 24/7?

HOWEVER, the snow has almost melted away completely, leaving forth brown grass with vibrant green patches starting to sprout. It means that I can spend my days outside creating hours of adventures for said above kids discovering everything from bugs to hidden pirate treasures to dinosaur bones. It means long walks, bike rides, road hockey rumbles and swinging from monkey bars. It means hours of running, laughing, more running and screams of excitement. It means discovering the mysteries of running in a sprinkler in our newly landscaped backyard (80% completed in November of last year), to digging to new worlds yet undiscovered in the huge sandbox in said backyard.

This also means that there is a beckoning light called sunshine on a daily basis infusing me with energy and health, which in turn will mean tired little monkeys at the end of each day because finally, they will be the ones hard pressed to keep up with me. Sigh .... yes .... spring is almost here and it is heavenly.

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK FIVE

2009-03-26T10:32:00.004-06:00

Another week, another challenge, another adventure filled with fun and laughter. This week was a hard one because up until two days ago, the only reflection that I was able to capture was that of myself in the mirror. However, Mother Nature took mercy on me and provided a weekend filled with torrential rain to melt away the large banks of snow, hence providing puddles for the kids to play in and the warmth of sunshine on our cheeks.

So folks, here is what I managed to come up with. And yes, the last one captured the flash on our butt ugly tinted kitchen windows. At least, for the first time in a year since we've owned this house, I actually like the tint purely because my daughter was captured within it. On a side note, anyone have an idea how to get that tint off?

Would you like to play along, or see what others have come up with? Head on over here because take my word for it - there are some pretty spectacular photos!

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK 4

2009-03-18T16:01:00.004-06:00

IS IT GOTHAM'S BAT .......

.... OR THE WHITTINGHAM'S CAT?

Yep - we are in week four folks, and the challenge was Shadows. To see other participants or if you would like to join in too, head on over here! Next week's challenge? Reflections. Hmmm .... and I thought that this week was a tough one.

My Princess

2009-03-17T12:56:00.005-06:00

She was the light at the end of that dark tunnel,
She taught me to overcome my fears and to take that leap of faith to believe that all will be okay,
She was the soothing balm of my broken heart from the moment we touched skin to skin;
And from every moment there on in, my heart was filled with loving pride and contentment.

Two years of bliss have passed by yet it feels like a minute,
And despite some shadows still being there, she is my sunshine that warms me from within.
She makes me laugh and she makes me cry but most of all, it is the moist wet kisses and tight hugs within that tiny embrace that makes me feel alive.

She is beautiful, she is precious;
She is smart and vivacious,
She is compassionate and independent.

In short, she is perfection; my perfection and I can't get enough of her.

Dragon Breath

2009-03-16T13:01:00.003-06:00

I was warned that his breath could become smelly, but nothing could prepare me for this noxious fume. It is toxic at it's best and perhaps it is a good thing that Kaelen is so congested and stuffed up (a surgery side effect). The good news is that this means that he is healing well and quickly and that we may only have to endure this stench for another couple of days. But wow, trust me when I say that it is bad. We brush his teeth every couple of hours to try to provide him with a fresher tasting mouth and sadly, he isn't allowed to gargle for risk that liquids could seep into the surgical area and irritate it. Another kicker is that Kaelen does not like to chew gum and dislikes the taste of peppermint so breath mints are out of the picture as well.

Other than the foul smell emanating from him, he seems to be doing very well. Already he has commented on how he can hear much better out of his right ear and we have noticed that his decibel output when trying to talk to us has come down a level or two. If he pushes himself, then the fever, nausea and pain come back but if he stays calm and somewhat stationery, there is no pain or anything. We have four more days of holding him back and then after that, we can let him set the pace for himself on his activities.

Someone pinch me because this seems too easy. Too easy in the sense that all is going well with no hiccups so far. We always have to go the difficult route - it is something that was genetically coded into us.

Super Trooper

2009-03-14T17:02:00.001-06:00

That was the first song that popped into my head yesterday and as per usual, I changed the words as I sang it to my little super trooper. He was fabulous - a nurse and surgeon's dream. No crying, no fear and fully cooperative with lots of smiles and thank yous. Can you believe it? He even thanked everyone for taking good care of him without any prompting from me!

We checked into the hospital at 6:00 am, he rolled into surgery at 7:45 am, back to recovery by 9:00 am and back to home on the couch by 10:30 am. We were the first surgery of the day and we also lucked out as our neighbour was the OR nurse. Having that familiar face when Mommy could no longer be there was like having icing on the cake. Truly.

And, my little super trooper is great! He was in great spirits despite being swollen and dopey yesterday and we did have a little blip at about 4:00 pm when a high fever and nausea set in for about 6 hours. He did sleep through the night and today we have been hard pressed to keep him from swinging off the chandeliers. He is refusing medicine and frustrated because we won't let him play hockey. Appetite is there today and ya - it is just like any ordinary day despite him still being swollen in the face. At the risk of jinxing myself, it has been really easy so far.

And the best news? The surgeon said that the blockage was huge - bigger than he has seen for quite some time and we will notice an immediate difference within a couple of days. In addition to this, he also felt that Kaelen would likely not need any speech therapy as the blockage was so large, it was actually physically hindering him from being able to articulate certain consonants and such. So, not only will Kaelen now hear better, he will likely be able to speak better too!

Masyn was completely out of sorts yesterday too because she knew something was up with Kaelen. She wouldn't leave him alone, trying to hug him and bring him toys all day long. When he wasn't responsive to her or sleeping, she would start to cry and point to him saying "owie". It was very endearing to see her so concerned about her big brother and amazing too. How could I have ever feared that they couldn't have an incredible, close sibling bond due to being the opposite sex? Funny when we look back and reflect on our naivety isn't it?

Thank you for your well wishes - they certainly helped with the outcome of success for us!

Something To Tell

2009-03-12T13:06:00.004-06:00

I have like a million posts that have been uploaded in my mind; just not onto my computer. Somewhere in between, there seems to be a malfunctioning glitch causing stories and pictures to be somehow not make it onto my laptop and in turn, proudly displayed on this web page. There just never seems to be enough hours in the day to get it done with running a daycare and all and come night time, I turn into a pumpkin by 8:30 pm once my children have hit the hay. I tell you, those little stinkers during the day give me a run for my money on imagination and being active. They of late are consistently scoring the knock out punches and I can't help but wonder who really is in control on a daily basis. Perhaps I need a new trainer in my corner or sports psychologist to help me through the defeating, traumatizing moments. Anyone know of a good one that comes cheap?

So, I need you all to send a little love to us tomorrow K? I haven't shared this with you all but Kaelen might be having surgery tomorrow. We have to arrive to the hospital by 6:00 am and within two hours, be assessed by the anesthesiologist and surgeon as to whether Kaelen is healthy enough to undergo surgery. He is just on the tail end of a cold so the question is whether or not he is too congested in the chest to undergo the magic sleep potion.

What is he having surgery for? Well, to have his ears drained and his adenoids removed. This is a sensitive subject for me so please be kind. Kaelen has never had an ear infection (that we know of) but has been consistently complaining of a sore ear deep inside since we moved. And, as many of you know, we have been dealing with his supposed speech issues for too long in my opinion. Lately, he was complaining that he couldn't hear out of his ear either so that prompted me to make an appointment to get this resolved once and for all. As per the norm, nothing was wrong with his ears yet our new family doctor was concerned about his enunciation in his speech; big surprise (note sarcasm please). So off we went to see a ear, nose, throat specialist for his consistent ear complaints. Imagine to my surprise when I was told that Kaelen's is experiencing mild hearing loss and that the surgery is necessary to avoid permanent partial hearing loss. Uh huh. And I didn't deal with it so good either.

You see, Kaelen has seen three different "specialists" because everyone that we meet comments on Kaelen's enunciation. One specialist said there was nothing was wrong with him, another thought that it was a mild issue that would get resolved once he entered the school system and the third was so obsessed with him being premature that she was labelling him with a list of deficiencies a mile long. This new specialist after carefully examining him, said that it was a crying shame that he didn't get to see Kaelen at least 3 years ago because "all of this" could have been avoided. Not once, in his previous three visits, did he ever receive a hearing test, which is standard given speech issues. If those hearing tests had been done, it would have been discovered that Kaelen's ears don't drain effectively, therefore causing him to not effectively hear a certain decibel frequency range. Basically, to Kaelen (even though he doesn't know it) the sounds "th", "r", "s", "ch" and "k" are muffled. And as we all know, learning languages requires us to hear because we mimic those sounds in our attempt to communicate. The reason why Kaelen's ears aren't draining is because his adenoids are over developed, meaning that they are larger than normal and are putting consistent pressure on the ear drums. After doing careful research, I have discovered that what we are dealing with is in fact common for premature babies and that this doctor just might be right after all. So, to avoid any further hearing loss, we must get this surgery done. Kaelen will never recover what he has lost to date but, we can at least stop any further damage. And, after the surgery, come a couple of months down the road, he will work with a specialist to somehow learn how to make those consonant sounds and how to hear them (as they sound muffled and distorted to him).

So selfishly, although in the big picture of the world, this is so truly minor, to me as a Mommy, this is big. This is my baby who I will watch be put to sleep and wake up sore. This is my baby that I feel has been let down by mistakes and in my opinion incompetence and now he is paying the price for it. This is my baby who I feel that I have let down because I wasn't persistent enough nor diligent enough to follow through on answers that I wasn't satisfied with.

I just pray that he is healthy enough to undergo the surgery tomorrow as this is already the second attempt to get it done. Last week it was cancelled due to an emergency in the OR room and I would hate to see it postponed again due to a cold. The longer we wait, the more nervous he becomes and believe me when I say that he can become very dramatic. So, until tomorrow ....

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK 3

2009-03-10T16:07:00.003-06:00

This week's challenge was Texture. Uh huh ... it was a toughy. I contemplated taking a picture of the butt ugly ceilings in this house, but I couldn't effectively capture the shiny sparkles the stucco.

I did however happen to capture this: A crystaline crocodile teardrop perched so precariously on my daughter's face.

Head on over here to see what others came up with, or, if you would like to participate too!

Tickle Me Tuesday

2009-03-10T08:44:00.003-06:00

I will freely admit now that the past few weeks have been difficult ones for me but I hit a eureka moment this past Friday. I am not sure what caused it, but it was like a huge ray of sunshine broke through the dark, dreary clouds and it embraced me with its rays of hope and warmth. I feel hope where before I felt like I was sinking, I feel humour where before it was despair and I am starting to feel peace where before it was chaos.

I sit back and think, what caused this radical change? Well, I decided to paint my finger nails (and Masyn's), I also trimmed up the massive caterpillar living above my eyes. I am on day four of actually putting on makeup and making an attempt to have a hair style. I am making a point of eating breakfast and cutting down on my coffee consumption. In short, I have decided that I needed to take care of me. That I needed to spend time to take care of me so I can in turn effectively take care of everyone else around me.

Life can be challenging. In one moment, it can catch up to you and seem so overwhelming. For me, it has felt like we have been riding a roller coaster for the past year. I look back on last year and think to myself, "Wow ... you actually survived". And that is when I was supposed to reflect on the New Year and say, "Wow ... all is great". Instead, nothing has slowed down for us. We are continuing to live in that swirling vortex of chaos and it was starting to feel lonely and defeating. But, thankfully and curiously, something changed for me on Friday and I feel good and ready to take on the challenges that life is presenting me. I have the energy to defeat the bad in our lives and change it into good.

So, wish me luck as I am about to don my suit of armor to slay a few dragons this week.

Remote Control

2009-03-09T09:02:00.002-06:00

Get ready to sit down, grab that blanket, a cup of coffee, water or heck, even a beer and most importantly: the remote. Relax a little knowing that housework will go by the way side and the children may get a little neglected. Of course, you could always hire a babysitter if needed, or, if you get lucky like me, your children may buy into the program just as much as you have.

Aside from the Stanley Cup playoffs and our dream of the Vancouver Canucks actually winning the coveted title of 2009 Champions, the next best thing is happening in the sporting world: The Tim Horton's Brier. A full week of curling is taking place in my former stomping grounds of Calgary, Alberta, and with three draws a day being telecast on TSN, it is like a dream come true for this household.

Don't know much about curling, or you think that it is boring or not a lot of fun? I guarantee you that you will change your mind if you head over here. And just as it so happens, one of the writers is a fabulous friend of mine who is probably one of the most fun and down to earth people that I know. She will change your mind on the game of curling with her knowledgeable experience in the game as well as her quirky sense of humour.

So my friends, I encourage you to take a load off of your feet and kick back for at least one game. Give it a try and I swear that you will like it. As for me? Well the kids are both sick and they both happen to enjoy watching the game because they have watched Mommy and Daddy do the same, just not on the level that the pros are doing it at. And that my friends, makes me a lucky Mommy this week.

YOU CAPTURE - WEEK TWO

2009-03-04T12:22:00.003-07:00

It is week two of You Capture and the challenge for the week was Perspective. This was certainly a challenging one for me in the sense that I have taken at least a hundred pictures and just couldn't figure out which one to use.

Here is the winner. Over the Christmas holidays, we received huge amounts of snow. And, thanks to our neighbour who loves to use his snow blower at any given chance, our yard has more snow than most ski hills in the area. The neighbourhood kids got together while we were away during the holidays and built a maze of snow tunnels throughout the yard. Needless to say, those tunnels have provided many hours of adventures for my kids, the daycare kids and all of the neighbourhood kids. And yes, despite the fact that these tunnels were made for wee gaffers, I managed to squeeze my body into one of the tunnels to grab this shot of my son poking his head in from one of the other openings.

Just One of Those Days

2009-03-03T09:22:00.003-07:00

I declare today as official blah day. A day where in one moment life can seem mundane yet within a millisecond it can become overwhelming. It can be a day where the boring routine of the day just makes you want to beat your head against the wall or it could even bring you comforting excitement of knowing exactly what is going to happen at any given time.

For me, today feels never ending. I am stuck so deep in a rut that I have no clue on how to go about getting out of it. I am beyond sensitive about my life that it makes the hairs on the back of my neck resemble spikes when a family member attempts to offer me their opinion on the issues at hand. And the worst thing about this day? Is that I feel so utterly alone. I am usually good with feeling alone but today, it feels isolated. It feels that no one understands and that I am in short a head case. I think that I am a good communicator, but I don't know how to go about and express what I am feeling. And, in any attempt that I have made, the end result makes me feel like I have failed for I always end up frustrated, selfish and apologizing for not effectively conveying what it is that is bothering me.

But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and all it takes to turn my day around (or at least stop me from mulling it over for a short term) is a look from one of my children. THANK GOD I have these two because they are my constant source of happiness, inspiration, pride and hope.

Daddy Time

2009-03-02T08:59:00.002-07:00

Out of all of the pictures that I have been snapping lately, I think that this has got to be my favourite one so far. I love the little crystal left over tear on her cheek, the sheen on her lips and the dainty snot coming from her nose. I love the fact that she crawled into Daddy's arms for some comfort and cuddle time. When I look at this picture, I get the warm fuzzies and fall in love with my husband all over again and get teary when looking at my gorgeous, cherubic daughter.

Fresh Air From Up There

2009-02-27T09:22:00.003-07:00

Although I am obviously biased, but isn't this a great photo? We have this HUGE mound of snow in our front yard thanks to our angel of a neighbour who loves to use his snowblower (who happens to use it on our three car wide driveway when it snows).

I think that I am loving attempting to take photos. There may be some hope for me yet.